A Little Taste
by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd
Summary: Bitter enemies, fit them perfectly, but as Sirius's lips dug into her neck, sucking and teasing her, all rationality left her. Sirius told himself time and time again that this time, would be the last and then a few days would go by and here they would be.
1. One Foot

_I put one foot in front of the other one. (Oh oh oh!)_  
_I don't need a new love or a new life just a better place to die._  
**-Fun.-**

* * *

"Mate," James began, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You are ridiculous."

Sirius smirked, his teeth gleaming in the moonlight. "It's a masquerade party."

"Then why, _the hell_, are you not wearing an undershirt?"

"You don't like my tie and dress jacket combo?"

James rolled his eyes, fixing his own undershirt. "Not your best look, Padfoot."

"I feel the need to advertise my best features."

"And your best features are your abs and pecks?"

"…Why are you even acting like this is a discussion?"

James cocked his head back and laughed heartedly. "Okay, mate. I'm not even going to fight you."

"Good." Sirius muttered as they approached the front door of the Prewett residence. "I wouldn't want you to waste what little physical strength you have."

"You wish you had my slender physique." James countered, adjusting his glasses and ruffling his hair, the arrogance practically rolling off of him. "I've heard a couple birds even refer to me as, 'walking sex.'"

"They were just referring to your hair, mate."

Knocking on the door, James nudged Sirius with a wink. "Keep telling yourself that Paddy."

Sirius snorted under his breath at his best friend. It was the middle of June and Alice Prewett was hosting the first real party of the summer, so of course as leaders of the school Sirius and James felt it was their duty to attend. Remus was still in southern France with his family and Peter was still on house arrest for missing curfew the week before to go bar hoping with them, so for tonight only two Marauders would have to do.

Alice Prewett stood at the front door in a sleek silver dress, that hugged her tall lean figure. Her brown her shaped around her round, kind face sweetly. She rolled her eyes when she saw the pair of them before giving them each a hug.

"I should have known." She snorted.

"You invited us…and then you are surprised when we arrive?" Sirius questioned, raising his eyebrows at her. "You're an odd bird Prewett."

Alice poked his bare chest. "I was referring to _this_."

"If you are talking about my blatant sexual prowess, you are correct. You should have known."

James roared with laughter, moving past Alice. "Thank you for inviting us."

"Well I suppose I couldn't have a party without the two of you." Alice teased, but then she frowned. "Where's the other two?"

"Vacation and grounded."

"Which one is grounded?"

"Peter."

Alice shook her head, letting Sirius in and shutting the door. "Why do I have the feeling that it is completely and entirely your fault he's grounded?" She said placing a hand on her hip.

"Because you are cynical and always see the worst in us." James answered with a grin.

"And because it's true." Sirius replied, craning his neck to see above the crowd in the next room and see who had arrived. "Where's Frank, Alice?"

Alice fixed her hair and said, "Um, last time I saw him he was in the kitchen playing bartender."

"Well I'm off to give him a purpose," Sirius wrapped his arms around Alice suggestively. "Unless you can give me a reason to stay…"

Laughing loudly, Alice squished his cheeks and pushed him off of her. "You are a prat Sirius and fully aware that I'm never going to give into your offers."

"Doesn't hurt to try now does it?" He winked at her before walking away.

Alice turned and saw James was still standing next to her; his eyes were locked on a certain redhead in the distance. "James, please don't make her mad tonight."

"How would I do that?" He asked innocently.

"I don't know, maybe like the time you, Sirius and Remus came with Mary, Dorcas and Lily to a muggle carnival. And instead of getting a seat, you jumped on the side of the ferris wheel and hung there until Lily agreed to go on a date with you."

James snickered. "You have to admit, it was funny."

"To watch you dangle hundreds of feet in the air with just your scrawny upper body strength to save you?" Alice mused, "Yes, hilarious."

"Relax Alice," He kissed her cheek. "You know I had it under control."

Alice sighed softly. "Well I'm going to mingle, _you_ make sure Sirius stays in line."

"I can only do so much."

"Well try harder." She chuckled, her heels tapping on the floor as she walked away.

* * *

Lying on her bed, her blond hair fanned out around her, Marlene played with her silver heart-shaped necklace absentmindedly. The light from the dying sun flickered through her blinds, drawing out the sunny warmth of her hair. Her eyes were gazing wildly at her blank bedroom walls; they used to hold pictures of her with her sisters, but since her mother died and her father remarried she didn't put any pictures of her family up. The thought of surrounding herself with images of people she might never get to see again was just too much. Last week, when she heard the _oh-so-glorious-news _of her 23-year-old sister Olivia's engagement, after vomiting and owling her eldest sister Ava, she gained perspective.

This summer and following school year would have to be the best year of her life, because as soon as she graduated, the second she said goodbye to Hogwarts, she'd have a ring on her finger. A tight, constricting ring, which she would probably have to amputate her finger to get it off, would be on her finger far too soon for her liking. If Marlene actually had a real choice in the matter she would never get married. It seemed like a steel trap, incasing its victims into bottomless, endless, hell.

Especially marriage to a respectable pureblood.

But it was a logical thing to do. One of her brothers, and soon both of her sisters, would all be wed to _honorable matches._ So she had to follow suit, maybe she'd even get lucky like Ava did and get someone she could fall in love with, but she didn't like her odds. Rastaban Lestrange didn't seem the type of person that grows on you, more like the type of person, who acted as though every living creature is beneath him and liked to torture chubby children.

Yawning, Marlene considered her options for the evening. She could A) stay put and write mental stories about how tragic and awful her life would soon be, B) She could take a few laps around the lake…again, C) or she could go to her, only Gryffindor friend, Alice's, party.

As if Satan himself had heard her question, her stepmother opened her bedroom door, without knocking or even a thought of considering her stepdaughter's privacy.

"Marlene," Gretchen said crisply, her pale brown eyes narrowed. "What are you doing?"

Marlene's legs and arms were spread and she was still wearing her hot pink bikini, from her swim hours earlier. "…Resting."

"Resting? From what exactly?"

"You know," She said sardonically, "thinking, having deep thoughts."

Her stepmother fixed her raven hair in the only mirror in Marlene's room. "You better not get used to that, Marlene. Soon you will be an obedient wife."

"…Why, it's not like you are." She muttered under her breath.

"Excuse, me?" Gretchen snapped, the threat clear in her voice.

Jaw thinning; Marlene said, coldly, "I'm going to a party."

"When you go," She paused for emphasis, "_do try to remember your place_."

_"Oh_," Marlene began in the fakest voice she could muster. "_I will, Gretchen._"

"Good, because you know the consequences."

Marlene grinned as wide as possible. "…I_ sure_ do."

The smile fell off her face the instant her door shut, and Marlene laughed, an empty, hollow laugh, under her breath. Though after Olivia's engagement announcement, her stepmother had gotten considerably warmer, Marlene knew that this was just the calm before the storm.

Picking herself up, Marlene kicked out her oddly long legs out and went into her large and spacious walk in closet, to find something suitable to wear. Thankfully, since she was supposed to be seen out and about often, she was given quite a large clothing expense account in order to maintain her family's status. In no time at all, she wiggled out of her swimsuit and into a short black dress, with sheer sleeves. Then she added make-up and straightened out her hair so it looked longer and sleeker.

By the time, she slipped on her six inch black heels and apparated to Alice's house she looked about five years older, and ten times hotter. Alice's thin eyebrows raised when she answered the door and took in her longtime friend.

"I didn't think you would come Mar." Alice said, the surprise still evident in her face as she kissed Marlene on the cheek. "Not really your scene."

"Why because there are blood traitors and half bloods here?" Marlene questioned with a smirk, "_I think I'll manage_."

Alice gave her a stern look. "No, I meant because I know your …_betrothed_ doesn't like when you go out without him."

"Well that's really his problem, isn't it?" Marlene teased Alice, before snatching a shot of alcohol and dunking it back. She winced before putting the tiny glass back. "Great party already, Alice!"

Snorting, Alice shook her head at her amusedly. "You are something else Mar."

"GET ON MY LEVEL ALICE!" Marlene shouted over the crowd of people, before disappearing into the next room.

* * *

Sirius would wage he was into his sixth firewiskey when he started really feeling something. Not only did he get his father's temper and dashing good looks, but he had also inherited his tolerance for a great deal of alcohol. Which was good because he wasn't quite ready to stop drinking quite yet. This party was just getting into full swing and it would be a pity if he missed that, or rather it would have been a pity if everyone else were forced to miss him.

His tie, magically, had stayed on throughout the course of the night despite him doing a keg stand and dancing with just about every girl in the room, that didn't have a man attached to them. Not that it really stopped him if a pretty girl happened to have their boyfriend near, it just gave Sirius more of a reason to get on his A-game.

Across the room he spotted James, and a large spacious grin, made it's way across his face as he saw who his mate was cordially talking to. He'd recognize Marlene McKinnon anywhere, mostly because she was one of the very few blondes in the room, but also because he'd recognize that snooty expression anywhere. She was the typical, uptight bitch that got by on dad's money and her own model esche good looks. He could see she would most likely spend the rest of her life cleaning up after her husband or something trivial and weak like that. If she didn't have that snappy tongue of hers, Sirius wouldn't bother with her at all. Her friend Kara Rosier, for example, was headed down the exact same path, but Kara was boring. Marlene had a sharp edge to her, which was just enough to keep her relevant.

"Well well well, if it isn't Mrs. Lestrange." Sirius drawled loudly, clapping a hand on James shoulder.

Marlene's face went from neutral to unpleasant in five seconds flat. "Black, why don't you crawl back into the bug invested hole you crawled out of?"

"Oooh!" He put a hand to his bare toned chest, dramatically. "That hurt!"

She rolled her full cobalt eyes, nursing her drink to her dress. "What do you want, Black?"

"I was looking for James." He mused innocently, his eyes subconsciously eyeing how her dress managed to line her long legs and narrow waist.

"What?" She addressed James, ignoring Sirius's blatant lack of dress. "You can't leave the house without telling him where you've went?"

James raised his hands. "I'm staying out of this. I'll see you around, McKinnon."

She gave him a mini salute before crossing her arms and giving Sirius a scathing look. "What?"

"Nice dress."

"See, I'd take that compliment, but I know there's a disgusting ridiculous string attached to _that_."

"Why _must_ you always see the worst in people?"

"Because that's all there is Black. _You should know that_. Unless your parents were really nice to animals or something."

He twitched as she stabbed his biggest nerve as viciously as he had stabbed hers. "Well at least I had the balls to get out, instead of just being sold off to the highest…or probably _in your case_ the lowest bidder."

She laughed coldly, though there was no amusement on her pale face as she rounded on him. "Why? So you can squat at someone else's house? _Wow!_ Excuse me! You are right, you're _soooo _brave for just sleeping at your rich friends mansion, pouting about how mummy and daddy were mean to you."

"And what, you think you're smart for marrying a cockless, rich pureblood?"

"It's sure a better idea than…what is it you plan to do with the rest of your life? _I'll wait_…"

Sirius seethed, "Well good luck with your loveless lifeless relationship. I'm sure he won't _you know_…cheat on you and have a bunch of illegitimate children."

"What's it going to be like Black, when Potter inevitably marries the virgin ginger, Lupin has an honest marriage and you are left…_all…alone._"

"_Bitch_." He growled, his voice dropping a couple octaves. He stepped forward, now they were only inches apart.

Marlene's breathing became uneven and her voice grew higher as she glowered up at him hatefully. "_Scum of the earth."_

Marlene thought out how great it would feel, if she just socked him right in his perfect face. Maybe she would be able to even make his sharp jaw line crooked or something if she hit hard enough, thereby ruining the only thing he really had going for him. While she contemplating that, Sirius honestly considered rethinking his stance on hexing women first.

_"Okay! Okaaaay!" _Mary McDonald interjected, her tall, slender figure slipping between them. "Sirius, go!"

"But-!" He insisted, his eyes blazing with anger.

Mary gave him a stern look. "Just go Sirius!"

"Yeah, listen to mum Sirius." Marlene mocked him callously, enjoying, with a sick satisfaction, the color that drained from his face when she said it.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!"

Mary used her tiny but centered beater strength to keep him back, by pushing his wide shoulders. "NO! SIRIUS STOP! GO!"

"MARY, SHE-!"

"I DON'T CARE! GO!" Mary said, her brown eyes narrowing and her pale pink lips thinning. "There's a line of girls over there! Snog one!"

Sirius let out a low note of fury before stalking off, knocking a few cups in his wake.

"Bloody idiot." Marlene muttered, her jaw still clenched in anger.

"McKinnon, why do you always have to fight with him?" Mary questioned defensively. "You know he's a hot head."

"He started it, McDonald." Marlene replied, taking a swig of her drink. "It's not my fault if he can't finish it."

Mary shook her head. "You don't have to be such a bitch about it."

"Actually,_ I do._"

Marlene strutted away, with her head held high as she did so. She wasn't going to let Mary McDonald, the vice president of poise and virtue tell her what she was and wasn't' supposed to do. She hadn't even been talking to Black in the first place! Potter had come over and talked about Quidditch with her and then the stupid, blundering idiot came over and picked a fight with her. Yet was he seen as an asshole? No, she was seen as a bitch because she didn't swoon and faint at the sight of him. _Naturally._

Dirk Creswell, crossed the room over to her, with a small sympathetic smile as he put a hand on her shoulder. "How are you doing, kid?"

She looked up and beamed, "_Dirk_!" Marlene pulled him into a tight hug, "I thought you were in Scotland still!"

"I couldn't miss a Prewett blow out."

"Awful choice of words."

He shrugged earnestly, his amber eyes twinkling. "I try. Like my haircut?"

"The buzz cut really brings out your cheekbones, and your glorious eyes." Marlene sneered.

"Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I think…this isn't fair to others. This brain…_and_ this face. Simply unfair. If I were a Hufflepuff, I'd play it down for the sake of humanity."

"But you had the good sense like me to chose Ravenclaw."

"That I did."

He draped his arm over her shoulder lazily, "So what's the status of the room?"

"Nothing remotely interesting." She sighed, giving him a smile.

"I saw you about to throw down with Black." He nudged her. "Are you going to give him a…wait for…_a black eye?_"

Marlene tried not to laugh, it wasn't the first time he had made the joke in their ten year friendship about Sirius, but she couldn't resist when she saw the adorable look on her best friends face. "You are ridiculous."

"But that's what makes me endearing."

"Ah huh."

"Where the hell is everyone else?"

Marlene frowned, "Kara is on vacation in Sweden, Al is at Quidditch captain camp, and Sloan, Alexandra, Tanya and Gale wouldn't be caught dead at a Gryffindor hosted party."

"Alice is a pureblood…_I don't understand_. We aren't even in school." Dirk lowered his voice, the annoyance evident.

Marlene shrugged, "I don't know what to tell you."

"How am I ever going to get Tanya to date me, if she never shows up to anything?"

"_Prayer_?"

Dirk gave her a dirty look. "I'm actually starting to side with Black now…"

"Oh sod off!" She pushed him with a laugh. "I'm a horrible person, we've established this."

He nodded, "Heartless to the end."

"I feel like that should be on my family crest somewhere…" Marlene said with a wistful look on her face.

"Nah because then they'd have to kick your sister out."

A bright smile flitted to Marlene's face, "You're right. Olivia is far too sweet to be in my family."

"Enough talk," He snatched her drink away, "Let's show these people what dancing really is."

Marlene snorted knowing both of them were going to just jump up and down like idiots. "As you wish!"

* * *

Sirius could have gotten in a fight so easily right then; he was already at his limit and would have thoroughly enjoyed, laying someone out on the floor. He gripped the kitchen counter, and leaned over in an attempt to calm down. Mary came over, giving him a stern look.

"Sirius…_real-ly_? Did you have to get into a fight, already?!"

"She's…ugh!"

Mary rolled her eyes, tucking all of her long warm brown hair over one of her shoulders. "You've known Marlene you're entire life. Why are you still shocked?"

"I'm not… _I just hate her."_

Mary snorted. "The feeling is more than mutual, I think, so you don't have any problems there."

"Where does she get off?! Why is she even here? Why doesn't she go buy some furs or whatever socialite bitches do?"

"You were pureblooded your entire life and still you have no idea what _your people_ did in their spare time."

"Because they weren't _my people_." He spat bitterly. "_They never were_."

"The point is, you need to find a healthier way to deal with it." She crossed her arms, with a sensible expression on her pretty face. "Your blood pressure must be through the roof and the last thing I need to do is to get a new partner for Quidditch. I don't have time Sirius, I_ really_ don't."

Sirius smirked at that. "You like being my Quidditch partner."

"_Oh god_! I say one nice thing and you let it go straight to your head!" She let out an exasperated sigh.

He softened. "Fine, Mary. I will find a better way to…vent my emotions."

"I'm just saying, channel your anger better." She said, patting him lightly on the back. "I'll see you later alright?"

"Yep."

He watched Mary walk away and got an idea. Yes, Marlene McKinnon was a bitch, but she, in a matter of seconds, managed to almost effortlessly slice into five different pressure points at once. Sure they'd grown up in the same world, but they'd never spent any time together that wasn't spent arguing or throwing cheap shots at each other. She didn't really know him, and what really bothered him was that she knew him well enough to know how to get him angry. He normally was more controlled. He normally would have won.

There was no way in hell he was going to let himself get defeated by a hundred and twenty pound blonde in six-inch heels. No, this was war and if there was one thing Sirius was good at it was battle. And this was one battle he wasn't going to lose.

"Game on, _bitch_."


	2. That's Not My Name

_Four letter word just to get me along_  
_It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue and I_  
_I keep stalling, keeping me together_  
_People around gotta find something to say now_  
**-The Ting Tings-**

* * *

Leaning against the doorway to the dinning room haughtily, Marlene crossed her arms and scowled at the sight before her. Her father, a heavy set, but oddly tall, silver haired man with cool blue eyes, sat next to her…_betrothed,_ Rastaban Lestrange. Lestrange wasn't unattractive. He had light brown hair which was swept back in an elegant artistocatic way, thick dark eyebrows, a strong looking jaw and pale green oval shaped eyes. The thing was, if she didn't know better, she would actually find him very attractive. Unfortunately, she'd only heard him speak a handful of times in her life, but it was enough to know the kind of man he was. If his arrogant, hunched posture didn't tell her, then the large silver ring with Lestrange family crest on his right hand would have said it all.

This was a man, that was used to getting what he deemed deserved and would accept and tolerate nothing less. Marlene wanted to honestly walk out without speaking a single word to him. Or hell, going up to him and telling him just what she thought of him and all of his piece of shit friends, but she had to bite her tongue and not rock the boat. This was the man she would be forced to spend every night and day with for the rest of her life. There was no way out of it, her father had already signed the contract and filled out all of the necessary forms like he was selling a house and not his youngest child. With any luck he would die young and leave her all his money so she could flee the country, but considering how physically fit he was from Quidditch, she doubted he'd croak anytime soon.

Her cobalt eyes, shot back to survey a means to escape. Perhaps climb through the window, or hide in the supply closet? In her heels, neither were a pleasant option, but anything was better than adding an hour and a half onto eternity.

"Marlene," Gretchen, her lovely stepmother snapped, appearing at her side quckly. "If you do anything to ruin this dinner-"

"I get it. I get it." Marlene said waving her hand dismissively. "You'll beat me, starve me, take away my favorite heels…"

Gretchen tightened her grip on Marlene's arm; her professionally polished nails leaving deep cuts on the younger woman's forearm. "_I mean it._ Our family needs this."

"I understand that, but _understand this, you're not my family_." Marlene said in undertone, ripping her arm away from her and strutting into the dinning room.

Rastaban's eyes followed her until she dropped into the seat across from him. Marlene didn't like the bored way he was looking at her. Like she was just a bird that happened to fall onto his plate, fully cooked. Marlene fixed the long, dumb black dress, Gretchen had told the house elves to leave out for her. with a scowl. It was too tight at the neck, but loose everywhere else and fit her body horribly, but perhaps that was the point. Maybe she was supposed to look shapeless and sexless, like a virgin.

Which in itself was hilarious, because seeing as how her first time was with a friend of her betrothed, she doubted he would think she was the least bit pure.

"Hi," She smiled forcibly.

He rolled his eyes and addressed her father. "My parents are planning the wedding for the week after my graduation."

"…_our_…" Marlene muttered under her breath.

"What?" Rastaban questioned.

"Our. We both will be graduating at the same time." She smiled sweetly, though she wanted nothing better than to kick him in the space between his legs.

He said coldly, "Don't get too used to saying, 'our,' or 'we.'"

"Dad," Marlene spoke pleasantly, "I think he's implying he's going to off me after we wed."

"Very funny Marlene." Her father said, though his voice held a warning.

She took a sip of her wine and said dryly, "...Who said that was a joke?" 

As she slipped by Marlene, her stepmother clawed the back her neck. Jumping in surprise, Marlene glowered at her back, and plastered an over-the-top smile on her face.

"So Rastaban, what career path were you thinking of going into?"

"Law enforcement." He said.

Marlene fought extremely hard not to heckle him or drop a sarcastic comment at that, but her self-control kicked into high gear and she shut her mouth.

"My Marlene wants to be a healer."

_Lie. Big fucking lie._

"How nice." Rastaban said indifferently.

"Yes, that should be a nice job to have until she starts having children."

Marlene wanted to vomit, his eyes caught hers and the thought of his Death Eater hands anywhere on her, made her skin crawl. But she resisted the pull to do or say anything. He'd eventually have sex with her, that was inevitable, but her presence at the table was about as relevant as the center piece, she began to wonder, in horror, if she'd spend the rest of her life being ignored. The answer was clear and cutting, but it wasn't a surprise. Girls like her had an expiration date.

"Honey," Gretchen spoke in a honey voice, placing a hand on her husbands shoulder. "Why don't we give these two a minute alone for a moment?"

"...Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked with a sigh.

"I'm wondering how such a scrawny thing could possibly produce any children."

"Well," She clasped her hands together, "I'm sure your weak sperm won't help."

Rastaban didn't seem to enjoy her quick retort. His face thinned in anger. "When I marry you, you will learn your place."

"Yeah?" She countered, unable to stop herself. "Well good luck with that."

They stared at each other, sizing up their competition, when Rastaban stood up. "Tell your parents I'll see them next week."

"I'll let them know."

"You know you'll be there."

Marlene stood up too; she drained her glass of wine and wiped the debris off on her dress sleeve. "I'm sure I will."

He left the room before an apparation crack echoed through the hallway. He could have just apparated out of that room, the entire house wasn't protected, but being an idiot he felt the need to make a dramatic exit. Marlene rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth. She would most certainly hear about this.

That was stupid. So incredibly, astronomically stupid. She'd get so many lashes for this and probably would be banned from leaving the house when her stepmother got a hold of her. She just…she let her mouth get ahead of her and really let herself, for a few moments, forget that this wasn't a joke, this was literally the direction she was heading. Honestly, one day she would be sharing a bed with that…man, i_f she could even call him that_. He was more like a reptile using a human host as a disguise to slither through their society and up the social ladder to gain control for all the repugnant poisonous creatures like him.

Marlene wasn't exactly scared of him, truthfully he had never touched her or harmed her in any way, but that didn't mean he wasn't capable of it. That was what bothered her the most, she knew he wasn't a good person, but she had no idea how bad of a person he was. She wasn't close enough to any of her Slytherin friends to ask and it's not like any of them could really give her a solid answer on it anyway. There was no way of knowing, until she was married that is.

Shivering at the thought, Marlene dropped her wine glass and raced to her room. Before anyone could stop her, she changed into a different dress and tossed the other on the floor. Dirk was having a rager at his house, which wasn't quite big enough to be called a mansion but still felt wrong for her to refer to it as a house. It was surrounded by a lot of ridiculous marble statues, a fountain and a very unfortunate looking lake. But his house had more booze than they could go through in ten lifetimes, so as she slipped on her heels and fixed her make-up, she reasoned, that was something.

* * *

"Why are you working out a battle plan?" James wondered aloud, sipping a cup of steaming coffee and eyeing Sirius warily.

"Because, this time, I'm going to win." Sirius said.

"I don't know why you're letting it get under your skin…Slytherin's say that shit to you everyday." James shrugged boyishly, leaning back against the counter, "We prank them, you move on."

Sirius frowned, his eyebrows nearly connecting. "Because."

"Is it because she's a bird?"

"No."

"Then, what is it?"

"She won! She beat me! I started the fight, and she won!"

James laughed, "You are so competitive."

"You can't talk. Remember when we lost to Slytherin three years ago? You nearly drowned yourself in the showers."

He got a wistful look on his face and said dramatically, "And you should have let me._ A Captain must die with his ship_."

"No. You don't get mad, you don't give up, you get even."

"You know I agree, I just don't see how you're going to win. McKinnon is nearly soulless." James then commented wisely, "Anything you throw at her will just bounce off, and she'll grow horns or something."

Sirius snorted at that, "_Horns_?"

"I mean, it fits."

"I know. I just…It just bothered me and once I do this, I'll be able to let it go."

James sighed, placing his now empty mug in the sink. "You do whatever you have to do mate. I'm going to go hit up the shower before we go out."

"Go for it."

"Don't grow an evil mustache while I'm gone!" James shouted over his shoulder, taking off his shirt as he went.

Sirius called back, "Don't tempt me!"

Mrs. Potter walked into the kitchen in a long sundress, her grey hair twisted back in tight bun, her thin face calm as she patted Sirius on the shoulder. "Sirius."

"Mum." He smiled at her.

"What trouble are my boys getting up to today?" She sighed knowingly.

Sirius snorted, scratching his facial hair absentmindedly. "We will be heading out in a minute…Party somewhere."

"Be careful," She told him sternly, pointing at him. "I don't want to have to pick you two up from the Ministry…_again._"

Sirius snickered and pulled the much shorter woman into a very forced hug. His arms were wrapped around her but not tightly at all so he kind of just hovered around her. "We won't mum."

"Why do you hug me like this? You know it bothers me!" She grumbled, "Either apply pressure or don't hug me at all Sirius!"

"But…this is how I show affection." He teased her.

She broke away from him, smacking his arm. "I didn't raise you to hug like that."

"Well you can't fix everything." He shrugged, snatching a banana off the table and peeling the sides before taking a large bite out of it.

Mrs. Potter crossed her arms, her light hazel eyes softening. "You aren't broken Sirius."

They'd had this conversation a million times before. Mrs. Potter seemed to be personally offended that he thought such a thing about himself, but he didn't understand why. It certainly wasn't her fault. She'd been loving and kind to him from the moment she met him, she and her late husband had immediately taken him under their wing and made him a more balanced person. But they could erase the 15 years of damage his parents had caused. It was there and it wasn't going anywhere. To act like it didn't exist would just be a lie, but it was a lie Mrs. Potter liked to believe, so he let it go.

"I'm going to go get changed." He told her, moving around her.

"And it would be nice if you shaved! You look like a street urchin!"

Sirius grinned, his mouth full of banana debris. "That's actually kind of the point!"

"Merlin." Mrs. Potter scowled, shaking her head.

* * *

Dirk wrapped his arms around Marlene as they danced, both of them were being lazy about it, both of their grips were lacking any commitment or energy. It was kind of hilarious because, when they were younger they used to win dancing trophies. Not just pity, you-tried-and-therefore-you-get-a-trophy-trophy but they won in an actual competition. Obviously that was years ago, back when Marlene's mother was alive and none of her sisters were married. Sometimes, if they were drunk enough they would even perform one of their old routines, but Dirk, especially, was careful not to get that drunk. At least not when Tanya, the supposed, love of his life was around.

"Mar," Dirk began, his face full of laughter. "What are you even doing?"

"DAN-cing!" Marlene snorted, flailing around nearly taking out the people actually dancing around her.

Marlene was having a great time but she knew it wouldn't last. Soon Dirk would leave and she would have to mingle. If there was one thing Marlene hated, it was making small talk with people she had absolutely nothing in common with. Sure she had a few friends there but she didn't particularly want to hang out with them either. All she wanted was to spend one night not thinking, and just existing. If she talked to any of them, they'd congratulate her on her future engagement and talk about the future, a future she really didn't want to be apart of.

When she saw Sirius though, that feeling of anxiety left and rush of adrenaline came over her. Finally, someone that wouldn't tell her how lucky and happy she should be, someone that could actually keep up enough to be a challenge and a distraction.

She knew he wasn't there for a good reason; Sirius Black wasn't the type of man to just appear somewhere. He always had a motive, a purpose and it usually had to do with pissing her off. Going to Alice Prewett's party made perfect sense, she was a Gryffindor, they were the same year, that was just logical. But Dirk was a Ravenclaw and clearly had invited quite a few Slytherin's. So unless Sirius was there for a fight there wasn't a single positive reason he would show up.

The question was; who was he aiming a fight with?

He didn't ask if she wanted to dance, he clearly had some sort of brain to know what that answer would be. Instead he waited until Dirk moved away, swooped in and forced her to dance with him.

"Black," She sighed in annoyance, though she wanted so badly for him to fight with her. His hand dipped to her waist and the other clasped her hand. "Why are you dancing with me?"

Sirius eyed her the way a dog might stare at a cat, calculating its next move. "Free country."

"No, we aren't." She countered, her eyebrows rising, her eyes traveling down to see he was dressed in a simple pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt. "Why are you even here? You know they will use this as an excuse to gang up on you and Potter."

"Was that a hint of concern I detect?"

She laughed, shaking her head. _"You are so arrogant._.. You think I give a shit about you?...I'd rather not have my best friend have to clean your blood up off the floor."

"Why? 'fraid it will taint the tile?"

"Something like that."

Sirius was about to reply when he felt Marlene tense up. He was about to make a joke at her expense when he saw it was Rastaban Lestrange, she was looking at. He was across the room, talking to his Slytherin roommates. "Isn't that your fiancée?"

"Don't call _him that_." Marlene replied before she could stop herself.

He frowned in surprise. "What? He seems exactly your type; evil, rich, pureblood…"

"I know you like to think you know me." She began hotly, enjoying the rush of hatred that came with it. "But you really don't have a single fucking clue who I am."

"Oh I know you Marlene McKinnon. You are a petty little bitch."

"Yes, I am." She said openly. "I'm a horrible person, I'm fully aware of that, but that one fact doesn't mean you know me. A lot of people are horrible people…take you for instance."

Sirius laughed harshly, before spinning her around and catching her just before she hit the floor. "I'm a horrible person?"

"Of course." Marlene shot back, hiding the flash of fear in her eyes as he held her a few feet of the ground.

"Then why am I not letting you drop right now?"

"Oh you will drop me." She said flatly, "You are just waiting for the right time to do so."

Sirius said, "And what makes you think that?"

"Because, I bother you and you_ can't wait_ to find a way to humiliate me. Maybe you won't now. It's not as fun if I see it coming. Is it?"

His grey eyes narrowed. "You think I'm predictable?"

"Yeah, I do."

He considered what she was saying and realized she was right. It would be so like him to drop her in the middle of the dance floor or try to embarrass her in a room full of people. What he needed to do to get a leg up would be to do it when it was just the pair of them. After all, what he really needed was to was to prove to himself that she wasn't better than him. That she didn't have anything over on him.

"Well I'm not."

Marlene grew uncomfortable as she tried to think ahead of him. It was like a large game of chess to her. "That remains to be seen."

Sirius moved in perfect time with the beat of the music, but his eyes never left her. She didn't look away. No matter how many eyes she felt growing on her or how much her instincts pleaded for her to look away, she didn't. Even the look of his freshly shaven jaw so close to her face unnerved her, but she stayed.

He also noticed the slope of her neck and the cut of her dress. If she were any other girl he would have snogged the life out of her, she certainly had the appeal, but there was a danger element. He wasn't one to shy away from danger, but this was a new kind of danger and he didn't know if he liked it or not. There was a heat between them, but there was also a note of warning. There was a line clearly separating them and as Sirius eyed her dark red lips he realized, he was dancing on top of it.

A flush grew in Marlene's face, as his hand held her tightly and securely. Occasionally her gaze would drop from his eyes and glance at other areas of his face, but she refused to drop her gaze entirely. She knew she should just pull away altogether. This was a stupid little game to play; she was far too practical to think that dancing with the king of the blood traitors and looking at him the way she was, would be a good idea at all. It would only lead her straight into the very trouble she had planned on avoiding. She had to pull away and go back to yelling at him across the room, where there would be plenty of safe space between them.

Suddenly there was a tug, and they finally broke eye contact. Sirius looked confused and then smirked, though his hands dropped from Marlene's body like she was on fire. "Lestrange."

"Black." Lestrange spoke, his complete and utter loathing present and accounted for.

Marlene rubbed her arms self consciously, but kept her face locked in a neutral position. She knew the two boys wouldn't fight. Sirius would certainly egg Rastaban on, but she also knew her betrothed didn't actually care enough to fight. He simply didn't like a blood traitor touching his property, it wasn't personal. It was more of a territory thing then anything else, but Marlene still felt uneasy about the whole thing. Obviously she shouldn't have been dancing with Sirius, but she hardly expected Rastaban to actually do or say anything about it.

"Okay," Marlene cleared her throat. "Enough testosterone. Black, why don't you go find Potter?"

Sirius looked over the situation with an amused expression. "I'm good here."

"Leave, you little prick." Lestrange said, in a deadly calm tone.

Sirius said, "I wasn't done with my dance-"

"Yes, you are." Marlene answered, pushing him away, giving him a dirty look. "You won this one, Black."

Marlene was surprised when Sirius actually left without another word, almost as surprised as when her future husband took her hand and started waltzing with her. She gulped and followed his lead, but felt an uncomfortable trickle fall down her spine, like a python's tail was wrapped around her throat, while the rest of it slithered down her shoulder blades, about to take a bite out of her back.

She couldn't look him in the eye. She just waited for him to speak and eventually he did. "So am I going to have a problem with you?"

"…He didn't ask to dance. He just kind of did it." Marlene explained horribly.

His voice lowered and his grip became sharp. "I said, am I going to have a problem with you?...I know you have to be…_broken in_. Your mouth alone proves that, but I want to know if it's more than that. Are you going to be a problem?"

He wasn't yelling, but that scared her more. Yelling and shouting was normal because she could yell back. This was different. He wouldn't hit her, not in a crowded room, but still her body began to tremble and she bit the inside of her lip so hard it began to bleed a bit. The stale taste brought her back into focus, reminding her of her circumstances. This wasn't something she could get out of. This was it, and she was kidding herself to think she could fight back or do something to get out of it. Like her dear sweet sister Olivia, she was stuck and the harder she would fight it, the worse it would be.

"No," She answered in a hollow sort of voice. "I won't."

"Good. I don't want to control you, but I will if I have to."

Marlene's eyes watered but she quickly forced herself to stay calm. Any emotion was just a tool he could use against her. "I …I understand."

"I will see you later Marlene." He informed her, emotionlessly as he released her, his hands swiping at the bottom of his jacket and strutting away.

* * *

James moved to stand next to Sirius with a curious expression on his face. "I thought you were going to pick a fight with her, not dance with her."

"I did both." Sirius replied, his eyes still on the blonde.

"What's your next move Padfoot?" James wondered aloud, a goofy smile on his face. "Going to throw food at her?"

Sirius snorted. "Not quite."

"Well, I'm going to force Alice to show me what a waltz looks like…Send up some sparks if you need some back up."

"I will." Sirius promised.

He hadn't gotten what he wanted. Sure she had thrown him the trophy and walked away, but in doing so she had given him something to consider. Marlene had been firing back insult and insult at him. She'd glared at him, she'd threatened to hex him countless occasions, but she'd never looked truly scared of him, not like how she did now that she was dancing with Lestrange. He watched as she tried to hide it, her posture was stiff and even his hearing couldn't make out what the snake was saying to her.

There was a lot of things he had thought about Marlene McKinnon, mostly that she was a heartless, cut throat, bitch, but also that she was fearless. He couldn't imagine the things the Slytherin was saying to her, but he imagined it was threat or two, still she didn't cry or show any obvious signs of distress. It was a kind of strength that Sirius recognized and was impressed with, though he would never admit it.

Despite that, the fight was still on. He still had to win fair and square, without any interruptions, but this gave a little more weight and complexity to the whole thing. It was a treacherous twist to this little game he had started and propelled him to push it a little farther.

Should he have left her alone and found someone else to harass? Probably, but common sense had never been his friend and he wasn't going to start changing that now. Especially not when his competition came in such a hot little package.


	3. Sail

_Maybe I'm a different breed_  
_Maybe I'm not listening_  
_So blame it on my A.D.D. baby_  
**-AWOLNATION-**

* * *

As a soft melody began to play, Marlene leaned back in her chair with a happy expression stuck on her face. Next to her, sat her brother in law, Dean, who didn't pretend in the slightest that he was okay with this, at all. At first he just looked annoyed with the whole process, but ever since the two bridesmaid's started walking down the aisle, he was down right confrontational with the things he was muttering to Marlene.

"This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen." He said, crossing his burly arms. "I think I might be sick."

"Shut up," Marlene said, but she couldn't fight the smile on her face. "If my step-mother hears you, she'll kill you."

"Oh the mega-bitch can bring it on." Dean scoffed.

Marlene snickered, "You know, you were arranged to marry Ava. You are not a stranger to this practice."

"Yeah, but I saw her before we were engaged, and I at least was attracted to her…Liv looked scared shitless when I checked on her twenty minutes ago."

"There's nothing we can do." Marlene said solemnly. "She either marries him or is disowned."

"…I'd prefer being disowned."

"Yes," Marlene pointed out. "But you fell in love with your wife. Your situation worked out so you don't really see the downside of being cut of financially and emotionally from your family. The rest of us aren't so lucky."

Dean's green eyes flickered back to the crowd of seated people. "Where's your fiancée?"

"I _really_ hate that term."

"Not as much as you're going hate the term '_husband._'"

Marlene let out a low laugh. "I'm really trying to repress that."

"Well," Dean sighed, "Good luck with_ that_. Like what you said, I was lucky, but I have a feeling you won't be."

"There's nothing I can really do about that." She pursed her lips. "I've tried to think of every possible way out of it, but it all leads to the same conclusion. I would have a statistically more secure life this way."

"Merlin," Dean rolled his eyes, scratching his stubble. "Did you just say you would _statistically_ have a better life?"

"I've done the research."

_"Such_ a Ravenclaw."

Marlene said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"To be honest, I'm a bit surprised you weren't put in Gryffindor."

She twisted around to look at him, and not the bridesmaids and groomsmen making their way down the flower pedal coded aisle. "What?!"

"All that fire, all that rage and all that nerve. You'd never fit into Slytherin or Hufflepuff."

Marlene blushed angrily. "Now, you are try-ing to piss me off."

"No. I was actually trying to compliment you."

"You forget. I'm a coward."

"I don't know about that. I happen to know you replaced Gretchen's diet potions with newt and frog intestines."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because if you mix newt and frog intestines with the color dye you added it causes chronic diarrhea and adult acne."

Marlene hid the small curve of a smile that came on onto her lip-gloss colored lips, before she said, "I never said I did that."

"You didn't have to, Ava told me."

"She has no proof," Marlene replied, turning to watch as the wedding march begin. "Gretchen merely accused me of doing so. I suggested she check with the house elves to see if she picked up the wrong vial and she was all about pointing a finger my way."

"_You are so full of it._ You wear these cute little dresses, style your little blond hair and wear those heels and act like you are just a little girl." Dean grinned widely. "I know the truth."

Marlene snorted. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll keep that to yourself."

Dean nudged her playfully, and then lowered his voice. "She looks beautiful."

"She does." She said.

Following the McKinnon tradition of looks, Olivia had long sunny blonde hair that was rolled into perfect waves. Her lips were bright red, and her skin was clear, smooth and flawless. Her dress fit her slim, lengthy figure and she could have easily passed for an angel, but her eyes, her dark brown eyes that she had inherited from their deceased grandmother, weren't on her husband to be, they were on the ground under her feet.

Her throat clamped up, and she had the grip to the bottom of her chair to stay put. She wanted to stop it. Everything inside of her was ripping and screaming to save Liv, to do something to protect her sister from her fate.

But she couldn't.

Anything she would do wouldn't help. It was like she was a kitten in a well, watching the world above but unable to do anything but scratch and claw at the walls to stop it. It was different when it happened three years earlier with Ava. Ava didn't like Dean at first, but she was never repulsed by him or honestly bothered by him. She just thought he was ridiculous, and didn't understand why he looked so happy, when she walked down the aisle to him. Ava didn't know Dean was already smitten with her, because arranged marriages were usually best-case scenario a calm companionship. Dean and Ava were one in a million. Olivia and Michael were not.

"Your wife looks pretty." Marlene mentioned, looking away from the bride to Ava, the Maid of Honor.

Dean nodded. "She always does."

Olivia made it to her husband and Marlene watched her father just hand her off like a piece of used furniture. Marlene tensed up, and fought the build up of tears in her eyes. When her sister trembled and hesitated in her vows, the crowd swooned taking it for sincerity and nerves, but it wasn't. It was fear, it was vulnerability and it was so raw and so visible that everyone else took it as happiness to avoid seeing the truth.

If Marlene had sat towards the back or off the side she might have left, but she had an aisle seat and had no choice but to get an unbroken view of the ceremony.

* * *

"Okay, I know your type is ginger and feisty, but what if I offer you the option of taking up with a busty blond?" Sirius said.

James leaned against the bar counter and said, "They are people Sirius, not objects."

"I'm aware." Sirius raised his hands innocently. "I'm just saying Lily is not here, but there is a busty blond in the corner that is, and looks, by my judgment, perfectly willing to give you a good snog if not more."

"As touched as I am by your selflessness, we all know blondes are your type."

"Any type is my type," Sirius said taking a swig of his goblet. "You are forgetting. I'm not picky."

James eyed him. "No. I can't say that is a word that would describe you."

"I am getting a bit bored…to be honest."

"We've been bar hopping all summer." James shrugged, "Maybe you need a change."

"No. I need a challenge." Sirius muttered, with a scowl. "Something different."

"Like what?" James asked ruffling his hair.

"I dunno, but I'm the mood for a new thrill."

"I don't know what to tell you mate. Full Moon is coming up soon and Prewett was telling me about this huge protest in front of Gringotts tomorrow."

Sirius perked up. "That's good. Something to do."

"In the meantime," James finished off his drink and clapped him on the shoulder. "Do you need me to wingman you?"

"Nah, I'll handle it fine on my own."

"Then I will see you back at home." James put down his money and stood up. "Mum's making roast beef, and you know I can't miss that."

Sirius grinned, "Save me some, you fat ass."

"We will see."

"You better! Or you won't fit into your Quidditch Gear!" Sirius called after him.

James gave him a rather rude hand gesture before strutting out.

Eyeing the blond, he saw her eyes flipped over to him. Her eyes scanned up his body, tracing the way he wore his blue jeans and tight black t-shirt. Sirius liked that he could see her eyes focusing on his elegant coal black hair and rigid jaw line. It was a kind of appreciation that he'd never been able to attain any other way and therefore he thrived off of it. At first he thought he merely enjoyed physical contact, but lately he had realized it was deeper than that. He needed the attention, the constant approval from women and occasionally men, which showed he had a purpose; even if it was just that he was aesthetically pleasing. After spending years being told he was nothing, would amount to nothing and always be nothing, this was enough to numb that voice and reassure him that he was everything he established himself to be.

Sirius fixed the collar of his shirt and walked over to the girl, relishing in the flush that grew in her cheeks as she saw him approach.

* * *

"I can't believe you're coming with me." Alice said, grabbing a protest sign and reluctantly handing one to Marlene. "This is _really_ not your thing."

Marlene said, "Look I'm free for like, a few months longer. I might as well hang out with you in the time I have left and this is what you want to do today."

"You say that like I'm dragging you to Quidditch tournament. I'm going to a protest…a protest against the new law forbidding Muggleborn's from attaining ministry jobs…I'm pretty sure that's not in your best interest."

Marlene pretended not to hear her and rested the sign against the door. She looked around the room she used to hang out with Alice in when they were little. There were still splatters of bright pink nail polish on the sides of the hardwood floor. A lot of little things around the room, that would have meant nothing to a million other people, but meant so much more to her.

"Mar I'm serious." Alice said, crossing her arms in concern. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know." She answered plainly. "Okay? I don't know. Now will you help me?"

Alice's blue eyes grew dark with sadness. "Mar…what do you need?"

"I need you to let me borrow some clothes, and let me come with you to this, thing."

"Okay…"

"Also, do you have any temporary hair changing potion?" Marlene added. "If I'm going, I can't have this hair."

Alice let out a low sigh, and frowned. "…Okay. I don't know if you are having a break down, or what's going on, but I'm going with it."

The brunette went into her closet and found some shorts and a tank top that would Marlene along with a pair of sneakers. When she handed them, Marlene looked at the black sneakers in confusion.

"You can't walk around a protest in five-inch heels, honey."

Marlene nodded, "Yes, I realize that. I just haven't worn a pair of these in years."

"Do you even like wearing heels?" Alice asked handing her a pair of striped socks.

"...I like being tall."

Laughing, Alice rubbed her arch of her nose. "You are really a weird person…Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Yes," Marlene said changing out of her heels and dress and into the clothes Alice provided her with.

"Okay, I'll go get you that potion…This is strange as hell. I'm just letting you know."

Marlene laughed, "You are overreacting. I'm just going with you to a protest. It's not like I'm leading the damn thing."

"I'm meeting Lily, Mary and Emmeline there."

"That's fine."

"_Is it?_ Because last time I checked you don't have that warm of an opinion on Lily or Emmeline for that matter."

Marlene said, "I will ignore the little bitches as long as they keep their self righteous comments away from me."

"I can't guarantee that."

"Well," Marlene hiked up the shorts, and buttoned them. "If they gets bad I'll just walk away."

"Okay." Alice agreed, leaving the room and returning a few moments later with a potion in her hand. "You'll only be brunette for a few hours."

Marlene took the potion, and drank it. "That's fine."

The two girls arrived in Diagon Alley twenty minutes later and Alice instantly started asking questions. "Now, are you going to tell me why you are acting like this?"

Marlene flinched. "I need to see what's going on in the world. It's good to be cultured."

"How did you even know about this? I didn't tell you about it."

"I…" She paused after a woman stared at her a moment longer than necessary. " I overheard a conversation."

Alice squinted as the sun shot straight into her eyes. "What kind of conversation?"

Marlene pressed her lips together.

"It must have been pretty bad, if you are coming with me."

* * *

_Marlene sat at one of the tables closest to the dance floor, her sister and Dean were waltzing in perfect time with one another and she could see them bickering as they went. Under her breath she laughed at the pair of them and took a sip of her champagne when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Her body went rigid when she saw it was Lestrange. _

_Of course he was invited. _

_"Hi," Marlene said, shrinking in her chair to get away from the feeling of his fingertips on her shoulder._

_"Your father sent me over. He wants you to sit at the table with everyone."_

_This was what she had been avoiding. The main table full of Death Eater's and pureblood fanatics, it was one huge rectangle of awful and now she was going to have to sit with them._

_Shivering, Marlene stood up and followed him. His hand was barely on her back, but even the pressure of his hand touching the back of her dark blue dress, made her clamp up. Sitting down in the chair next to his, she tried to smile when the others smiled at her, but she knew it wasn't the same thing._

_"How do you think he's going to handle it?" Mulciber asked gruffly. "The demonstration tomorrow?"_

_"I know how he will handle it." Lucas Avery answered with a curt laugh. "He will set fire to the whole thing."_

_Marlene's eyes flashed up, her attention held, but her face showing only signs of minor interest. _

_"Aren't there civilians?" Olivia questioned quietly, her big brown eyes wide. "They wouldn't hurt civilians..."_

_"Not unless they are blood traitors and muggleborns." Christopher Nott said casually reaching for more wine. _

_Avery sneered, "But in that case they have it coming, don't they?"_

_"Marlene, what are your plans for tomorrow?" Gretchen said, distracting her._

_Marlene looked away from the older Slytherin alumni and glanced her stepmother. "Um…I was planning on going over Kara's. Her birthday is coming up. She wanted to plan something."_

_"Well, I want you to clear your Friday." She said in a high, cheerful voice. "Your future mother in-law would like to have tea with you. She owled me this morning."_

_Marlene knew she brought it up in front of everyone so there would be no way she could get out of it. She figured, one more lie couldn't hurt. "Of course. I would love to."_

* * *

"Alice," Marlene said, "Just let it drop. Alright?"

Alice scowled. "Fine." Her face brightened when they tapped the bricks and she saw her Gryffindor friends waiting on the other side.

As Alice went to embrace Emmeline, Marlene hung back stiffly as Lily and Mary eyed her wearingly. She knew she wasn't welcome, but if they grew a brain they would realize if she was there, it wasn't for fun. As much as she loved Alice, Alice had made a valid point when she said this wasn't her thing. It wasn't. Marlene may have talked a good game but at the end of the day, she knew where she stood. And this sure as hell wasn't it. She had every reason in the world to have stayed out of this but for some reason she was still here and she didn't even understand why.

But she was here.

"Marlene," Emmeline snipped, her black eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know. I fancied a bit of a walk around town." Marlene shot back.

Lily sneered. "I thought you were a blond."

"Well spotted Evans. I can see why you get all those high marks now." She said sarcastically.

"Shouldn't you be hanging out with all the bigoted low lives of society?" Emmeline questioned bluntly.

"Not today." Marlene smiled brightly.

Alice put up her hands. "Okay everybody, be nice. Let's just go get a good spot in the crowd."

Lily, Emmeline and Alice walked ahead, but Mary McDonald stayed behind to walk with Marlene. Tucking her hands into her short pockets and kept her eyes lining the edges of the streets.

Mary watched her carefully and said, "Marlene, what are you doing?"

"Why is everyone questioning my actions?" Marlene huffed in annoyance.

"Because you are acting really suspicious." Mary answered.

"I'm not doing anything wrong."

"…sounds like you are trying to convince yourself." Mary muttered, "More than you are trying convince me."

Marlene frowned at that comment and promptly ignored it. Ahead of them she could see Emmeline's dark skin growing even darker in the exposure of the sun, Lily get more freckles on her fragile white shoulders and Alice's brown hair get a few lighter highlights. The stage in front of Gringotts was already set up and there were 100 people already there at least. The place was buzzing and nearly everyone had posters and were chanting, 'equal rights.'

She felt like a scorpion was sitting on her shoulder with its stinger posed to strike.

If she told Alice or one of the others they wouldn't take her seriously and then she would be the one that snitched. If she were planning on being completely cut off and disowned, it better be for something that actually worked. Once she saw a tall boy with messy black hair, she got an idea. Yes, she wasn't necessarily friends with him, but through their Quidditch connection, she liked to think if anyone might listen to her, it might be James Potter.

Her mouth opened, to tell Alice where she was going but she found Alice wasn't paying attention to her. Maybe she could just tell Potter and leave. Alice could forget the whole thing happened. She wasn't the most reliable person when it came to memory anyway. So hopefully this would all be taken care of and Marlene could sneak back to her house and pretend the whole thing never happened.

Elbowing through the people, Marlene whispered her apologies, making sure to keep her head down, so she wouldn't make an impression on anyone. She didn't put on any make-up and that added with mousy brown hair on her head and her choice of casual clothing attire, made her plain and not worth noticing. It was incredibly useful, like she carried an invisibility cloak or something.

"Potter," Marlene whispered, "Don't look at me."

"…McKinnon? What are you doing?... What happened to your hair?"

She let out a grunt of frustration and pinched his arm. "Potter, look straight ahead."

"Okay! Okay!…You are acting strange."

"Yes, _I understand that_, but I also understand that Death Eater's are coming to stop this and will kill everyone here. Including the innocent children that are on the street."

James paled, his eyes widening. "What?"

"I don't have time to explain. Just look out and tell the others to keep their eyes pealed."

"How do you know this-"

"I don't have time to explain, Potter." Marlene insisted. "Just trust me, they are coming…" Before she walked away she added, "You never saw me here."

Marlene then made her escape. Fear cramped up in the bottom of her stomach as she moved, sweat dripped down her forehead and back from the heat of the July sun. She couldn't be caught here. If anyone saw her, her head would be on the chopping block faster than she could say Quidditch. This wasn't her problem or her mess. She just didn't want this on her conscience. A horrible person was something she was fine with being, but not a horrible person that let innocent children die without doing anything to stop it.

She snaked around and was about go towards Diagon Alley when she saw them coming from the entrance through the Leaky Cauldron. Immediately, she tried to apparate but was rooted on the spot. Every place she thought of and focused on was irrelevant because all she saw were the grey cobble stones that made up the street below her borrowed sneakers.

There was no way out, she was trapped.

* * *

Sirius stood with Remus with a picket sign in his hand and smirk on his face. "I like this."

"What? Organized rebellion?" Remus asked, "_You would_."

"Come on Moony. You know you are just as into this as I am. It's equal rights for all."

Remus lowered his voice and looked around. "_Yeah?_ Well let me know when they put pictures of Werewolves on those little picket signs."

"Soon mate." He clapped a hand on his shoulder. "You know how long ignorant people take to wake up. Give it a few years and everyone here will be just as up in arms about you, as they are about this."

"I wish I had your faith." Remus said, his brown hair ruffling in the light breeze.

Sirius's face fell. "Things will get better Remus."

Remus smiled at him. "I'm going to go find Wormtail. I saw him go into the chocolate shop for some snacks."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Sirius said knowingly, "Get me some too while your in there."

"Will do."

Sirius turned, and looked through the sea of people for familiar faces. There were a few people he recognized right off the back like Mary and Lily. Mary was wearing a white baby doll dress, with her long brown hair down flowing freely in the wind. After spending years looking for her on a Quidditch field he'd find her anywhere, especially since she had the tendency of being friends with people much shorter than her and had thickest shaped . And with Lily, well she had that flaming red hair that was impossible to miss. He considered going over to harass them. James had disappeared somewhere, the other two Marauders were wandering around and the leaders of this function wouldn't come out for another ten minutes so he had nothing better to do.

His plan was to move around the right side and sneak up behind them when he saw a girl, about his age, standing at the edge of the people, her blue eyes open and bugged out in a panic. Maybe he would have kept on walking, maybe he wouldn't have looked at her again at all, but then he saw a scar on the girl's palm. It was a deep scar that he hadn't just seen before, he had felt it when he had danced with her weeks earlier. Surely this couldn't be Marlene McKinnon. The girl looked as unpolished as a girl could look and yet when he got a good look at her face he recognized her plump lips, tiny nose and heart-shaped face. The question was, why was her hair brown, her heels gone and why the bloody hell was she there?

Curiosity swelled up inside of him and he had every intention of finding out. Subtly, Sirius strutted over to her and without looking at her said. "Well, hello McKinnon."

Her eyes snapped to attention. "Have you talked to Potter?"

His eyebrows rose at the intensity of her tone. "No. Why?"

"These people are in danger." She said distantly, "I think he went to get help."

"What do you mean? What are you even doing here?"

"_Me?"_ She scoffed, moving away from him and turning down Knockturn alley. "I'm getting the hell out of here."

Sirius followed her, "What is happening?"

"Death Eaters, you moron." She spat, looking around for a way into the shops and swearing when she found all the shops doors were locked, even against magic.

There was a loud explosion, a boom that echoed down the street and nearly knocked the pair of them over. Sirius staggered forward, gripping the stonewall and instinctively putting arm out to brace her. Their eyes locked as the screams broke through the air and shook them both.

"I have to go back, the others-" He announced.

"Then go-" She cut him off but then went dead silent when she saw a few of Death Eater's heading their directions. Reactively, Marlene grabbed his arm and tugged him down the street; ducking spells that, based on the coloring, were unforgivable.

His heart was jarring in his chest, he allowed the much shorter girl to drag him as he couldn't think of a better idea quickly enough. For once, she wasn't all dolled up so she could actually run as fast as they needed to. Her feet were pounding the pavement just as hard as his, but that still wasn't reassuring. They were about to turn down another corner, but Sirius knew if they kept winding through this maze they would get irreversibly lost.

So he halted and forced her to stop. "We can't keep running."

"...What then?"

He looked up and saw a rooftop with a ladder attached. "There."

It was his turn to pull her along, which wasn't as hard as he would have imagined it to be. He moved fast and she was right on his tail, his hands gripped the hard metal of the ladder and he climbed until he reached the top of the roof. Then he helped her up and scooted to the side to be out of the view of the street. They laid flush against the roof tiles, their heartbeats pounding in their ears as they listened to the footsteps below. Both of them held their breath, their arms twined around each other, waiting and praying for the men to continue on.

Once the footsteps died, Marlene let a low cry of relief and put her hands over her face. "Fuck.._.Oh...fuck._."

Sirius popped up carefully, his grey eyes on the horizon, trying to see the square in front of the Wizarding bank, several blocks over. "It's chaos, but someone is putting the fire out…it must be more than a few people…"

"Black, would you stay hidden?!" Marlene snapped.

"What's-"

"_Stay down!_"

Sirius persisted, "I need to see what's happening!"

"If you get us killed-"

"I won't would you-"

Marlene didn't wait for him to believe her or for him to finally shut up and listen to her. She did the one thing she knew that would shut him up; she grabbed him by the collar, tugged him down towards her, and kissed him.

Sirius's eyes widened in surprise, before he could protest, before he could think, he reacted. His arms circled around her and he felt a rush of something come upon him. Was it pleasure? Was it just the excitement of the adrenaline? He didn't know and he didn't have time to think about it. He may have been the one half on top of her, but there was no question who was in control. Her lips went for his ferociously, the taste of her cherry lip-gloss still remained enough to infect his tongue. It was a force that charged them together, which also almost made them nearly slide down and fall off the very roof they were clinging to for dear life. Sirius's tongue had parted her lips without mercy and without an ounce of hesitance, but when she moaned, the sound not only reverberated down the base of his throat but it sent tremors down him. He normally felt this way when he was engaged in sex, not with something as simple as snogging. Her one hand, the one that wasn't locked onto the tile, fastened around his neck. Compulsively, he pinned her body down and moved closer to her so his body was right against hers.

They broke apart when they slipped and her feet dangled along the edge of the building. Both of their eyes were darkened and filled with raw lust, but after one look away from each other and beat of silence they realized the threat was over. Marlene leaned up, breathing unevenly, a distinctive look of astonishment on her face before she disapparated right from underneath him.

* * *

Sirius waited a second to catch his breath, before rushing down the stairs and bolting back to the main street. Once he arrived, he saw a pool of blood on the cobble street. A few people were down, but it looked like no one died. He glanced around wildly, until he saw the rest of the Marauder's standing together with the girls.

"Are you all alright?!" Sirius asked.

James let out a large sigh of relief and threw him into a tight hug. "Mate, you scared the life out of us."

Sirius pulled him aside and said, "How did all of these people make it?"

"I owled Dumbledore and sent a message to the Ministry. It seems the innocent women and children part bothered them enough to come and help." James said, angling his body away from the others so they wouldn't hear. "They made it in the knick of time."

"How did you know?"

"McKinnon. She came up to me. She warned me." James admitted. "I don't know what happened to her though. I hope she made it out alright."

Sirius said, "She…she's fine. I just saw her…I can't._ I'm sorry._ I'm a little shell-shocked here. I'm having a hard time putting that with..._ McKinnon_."

"I know, but she did it and... she saved lives. Without the immediate back up…" James's voice drifted off and he ran a hand through his black hair. He said, "Well it's done now anyway."

"Yeah." Sirius rubbed his eyes. "Yeah."

James wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Come on, let's get home. You look a mess."

"You look like you were hit with a tornado." Mary said lightly.

"It feels like I was." Sirius said in a low voice.


	4. Scream

_And I've tried to fight it, to fight it_  
_But you're so magnetic, magnetic_  
_Got one life, just live it, just live it_  
**-Usher-**

* * *

Attempting to think about something when you already have a much juicer thought lingering inside of you is hopeless. The rational part of you holds onto what you know and the other part, the part of you that has all the animal instincts, looks for things that are addictive and damning and clings onto it. Sirius was worse than most so his attention span rebounded back to the image of Marlene McKinnon in his hold, kissing him, grabbing onto him, fairly quickly and often.

He wasn't one of those guys who usually replayed the memories of his past conquests. To be honest, he had them frequently enough where he didn't need to resort to skimming through past memories. This however was an event, he was positive, would haunt him far longer than he would have ever been able to anticipate.

Sirius wasn't stupid either; he knew what was exciting about this for him. She was off limits, a pureblood bitch that he was supposed to make cheap jabs at and fantasize about when he was bored in Charms. If she were nicer he would have shagged her at some point already just for the thrill of it, but they'd always had an adversary relationship that cut that possibility off. In a split second though, that had changed and now he couldn't get her out of his head. Sirius had to get this out of his system; it was driving him mad and making it impossible for him to focus on anything else for longer than three seconds.

Leaping to his feet, Sirius pulled on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of loose jeans off the bottom of his floor. He had already had breakfast two hours earlier with Mrs. Potter and James so he had already showered and brushed his teeth. All he had to do was get out of the house and try to remember were McKinnon lived. If he was right, she lived a neighborhood or two away from one of his more unfortunate cousins. The trouble was there was no way he'd be able to get into her house. So what was he going to do to get her attention? Throw pebbles at her window?

"Where are you headed mate?" Remus asked his eyebrows furrowed as he eyed Sirius suspiciously. "Full Moon's tonight."

"I'll be back before then." Sirius assured him, giving him a smile. "Something I have to take care of."

"…Like what?"

"Like, none of your business."

Remus frowned disapprovingly. "Please tell me you're not doing something illegal. I don't have the gallons to bail you out of jail."

"Relax Moon, I'll be back before you know it." Walking backwards Sirius pointed at him, "I'll even pick up the snacks!"

"Okay…"

James came into the kitchen with a confused expression on his face. "Where the hell is he going? Pete's going to be over in five."

Remus shrugged with a tiresome look on his face. "I don't even know and I feel like I don't want to either."

"Well if I'm not involved it can't be that bad." James reasoned, elbowing him with a smirk. "Right?"

"I actually feel like, as sick as it is, you are his moral compass. So that might be worse."

"If I'm his moral compass, then what, the bloody hell, are you?" James said.

Remus grinned, "A saint, clearly."

* * *

Marlene laid back on her bed, her eyes intent on her ceiling, eyeing the tiny cracks in the molding and trying with all her might, to not think about what happened two days earlier. The day before it was easier. She had spent the entire day with Ava and her two nieces Sydney and Zooey. The two girls treated her like a big dress up doll and by the end she had lipstick on her eyebrows and eye shadow on her chin. Regardless she stayed silent and took it with a wide smile on her face. It did take two hours of scrubbing to get all the make-up off her face, but the look on Dean's face when he came home and saw her made the whole thing entirely worth it.

Today, she was supposed to have dinner with her future in laws and that honestly should have been the biggest concern on her mind. These people were going to be in her life for the rest of her their lives whether she liked them or not. If they hated her, then she was going to have to tolerate that animosity…forever. But did she think about how she should act to leave the best first impression possible? No. All she could think about was stupid Sirius Black, and how for a handful of moments she had someone as passionate and …skilled as he was snogging the life out of her. His lips on hers, well she'd been kissed before, but not like that, not like everything he had, every nerve of his existence went into that kiss.

The thought of it made her chest swell and body tighten in a way she really didn't like. It was one thing to fantasize about something that was never going to happen, but she wished had, but it actually did happen. His body had been on top of hers, she literally experienced it. Marlene now knew what girls were talking about when they said they'd never been kissed like that in their life. She thought they'd been exaggerating or just building up his ego because he was attractive. They weren't. That bad boy image may have been just an image, but it applied to him for a reason. He was so damaged that the only way he could express himself was through shagging women senseless. And since that was his only outlet, he had perfected it.

She wondered what it would have been like if he had known it was coming or even if he had been the one that started it instead of her. They probably would have fallen off the roof. _But what a way to go._

A long time ago, she had fallen in love. It was a very simple story, but also quite a cautionary tale. From time to time she remembered what it had felt like, to be so incredibly young and so full of life. When she had kissed that guy there had been a spark, an energy that flickered inside of her and she had thought she would never feel that way again. And she never did. Because this wasn't a little flicker; this was a burn, which from just that one kiss, had worked through her like a plague.

Thankfully, it was situational. They would never be that close to one another again and therefore it wouldn't even be able to happen a second time. This relief came with a bit of a sting, because although she was ecstatic that she didn't have to deal with the consequences, she also couldn't stop herself from imagining what it would have been like if they had gone just a little further.

Standing up, Marlene ran her hands through her hair with a heavy sigh. Sadly she would never get to know, but it was for the best. Knowing something was one thing, but having it and knowing it could be yours again was quite another toxic thing.

Looking at the water, just past the grounds, Marlene considered going for a quick swim. It would infuriate her step-mother and perhaps that was half the reason the idea was so appealing to her. Her blue eyes scanned the horizon aimlessly when her heart stopped dead in her chest. It had to be a mirage. She had to be seeing things. Sirius Black couldn't be sneaking through the grounds. _This wasn't happening._

Except, that it really was.

* * *

Rushing out of her room, Marlene ran to the back door, snatched his arm and pulled him into the archway leading to the shed. Her head snapped over to see if anyone had seen them, before she smacked his arm violently.

"What are you doing here?!" She shrieked, "Do you have any idea what would happen if anyone found you?!"

"I needed to talk to you." He said unconcernedly.

"You couldn't wait a month and a half when school starts?!"

"Yeah," He scoffed, "Because you would talk to me at school."

Marlene let out low growl, releasing him. "Yeah, because I'm the only one that's reputation would be ruined."

"Oh, _please_. They would just assume I fucked you. No one would judge me for that. In fact," He pointed out with a smirk. "I'm sure I'd get patted on the back for it actually."

"Men are disgusting."

"Yes, but for some reason you women keep coming back."

"Yeah, well, we have a habit of doing things that are bad for us." She said crossing her arms and pacing in front of him anxiously.

Sirius said, "Yeah about that-"

"_We don't have to talk about it._ You wouldn't stop popping up. I had to figure out a way to stop you. _That's it._ There's nothing else." She said flatly.

"_Oh?_ Then why can't you look at me?" He wanted to know.

"Because you are not supposed to be here!" She spluttered, "My step-mother will hex your parts off and then kill me if you are spotted here!"

Sirius leaned back against the mossy stonewall arrogantly. "Yeah, I'm practically petrified."

"Why do you even care? _Why are you here?_ The prophet said everyone survived."

"That was quite a risk you took."

Marlene flushed, "I don't know what you're talking about, Black."

"I'm talking about how warned James. You saved everyone. Even though you went out of your way to make sure you didn't get any credit I still know what you did."

Swallowing harshly, Marlene let out a ragged sigh. "I wasn't supposed to be there. I essentially snitched and I didn't particularly want to deal with the fall out of that. I tend to look out for my own skin…"

"That's not completely true is it?"

"Oh! What are you on about now?"

Sirius bit his lip. "You cared, you came to help those people."

"Just because I don't want children's deaths on my conscience doesn't mean I care or that I'm suddenly a good person."

"Fine. Far enough, but then why did you protect me?"

"…_What?!" _She said incrediously. "How did I protect _you_?"

Sirius took a step forward, forcing her to take a step back in return. "You grabbed me, you told me what was happening and you pushed me out of the way when a curse was coming at me."

"It was reflex. I needed a human meat shield and you were available." She said, though he could hear the unsteadiness in her tone.

Sirius took another step forward, his eyes traced her face as the light broke through the shadows the stone pathway had created and locked onto her pale face. He'd been this close to her only once before and it was right before they snogged, now he took a moment of pause to see a few small details about her he'd never noticed before. Like the handful of freckles on the tip of her nose that must have normally been covered up by make-up or how her lips had their own natural color, that was drastically different from the normal bright red lip stick she wore, but still was equally appealing. Especially when those lips parted because she was just a little too close to him.

"Keep telling yourself that McKinnon."

"Yeah?" She said in a cocky voice. "What's your reason?"

Sirius put his hands on either side of her head, not touching her, but just leaning there so there was this barrier of air between them. "I think you couldn't watch a beautiful guy, like me, get killed."

"You're delusional."

"Maybe," He shrugged boyishly, his eyes dropping. "What is this you're wearing anyway?"

Marlene glared at him. "It's a sundress, you moron."

"...Did you get shorter?"

"I'm not wearing heels." She scoffed.

He grinned at her irritation. "So you're actually really short then."

"I've never had any complaints." She retorted hotly, staring back at him forcefully.

"Do you usually shag with your heels on then? Because that's kind of sexy."

Marlene sighed dramatically, her expression bored, her eyes not leaving him. "Did you seriously come all the way here, nearly get your favorite part of your anatomy chopped off…_for this?"_

"Try and tell me you felt nothing when you kissed me." He said boldly.

"I felt nothing."

He laughed, the hot breaths tickling her neck. "Sure you did. Then why, the minute we pulled apart, did you flee the scene of the crime?"

"I told you. I wasn't going to get caught risking my neck for a bunch of blood traitors and-"

"Look at you," He interrupted swiftly, tilting his head, "all unsettled and going back to the old pureblood credo. But at the end of the day, you_ did_ risk your neck for them, even though that fact, _kills you_._ You did it._"

Marlene let out a rough breath of frustration. "Then why don't you do me a favor and leave me alone? We kissed, it meant nothing and it will lead to nothing. It's just one little bump on my otherwise spotless résumé."

"You have a cute little temper on you."

"_I do NOT_! Now would you…would you just go?! I don't know why you are even-" Her words stopped when he began to stoop forward, he didn't kiss her, but he was close enough were Marlene could see just how long his eyelashes were. "_What_…" She breathed, "What are you doing?"

Sirius took yet another step so there was barely even air between them to the point where the end of her dress brushed against his pant leg. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"This…" She stammered, "This is a horrible idea."

"Does that mean, you don't want me to kiss you?"

Her hips were already pushing out from the wall without her permission and her heart was going wild, but her mind was frantic. "It was a mistake the first time. A second time would be-"

His lips went for hers, not roughly but extremely light and soft.

It was so gentle that he was barely touching her. Marlene figured he was probably giving her an out. If she wanted to push him away it would have been easy. If she wanted to say no she could have said it. He wasn't forcing her into anything, but she felt like he was, by what, just the feeling of his warm lips sliding across hers, he was doing to her.

"Well?" He mumbled against her lips, applying as little pressure as possible, knowing the effect it was having on her and reveling in it. "Still think this is a bad idea?"

Marlene closed her eyes and nodded while she felt his hands go to her hips. "Yes... Awful idea."

"Then I guess I shouldn't do this." Sirius said, his lips soft and tender, against the line of her jaw.

Her hands shot up and gripped his shoulders, and despite her complaints she arched her neck back. "No…_no, you shouldn't._"

"Anytime you want to tell me to stop, I'm listening." He said, as his tongue grazed the delicate nerves on her exposed neck.

She wanted to say stop. It was wrong, what they were doing was so stupid, so illogical, so irrational, but all of those thoughts vanished when his fingers began to grip her hips a little more gruffly. It was a simple, the adding of just a fraction more weight, but for some reason it set her off. Her eyes snapped opened and she backed away from his lips.

"Wh-?" He began, his face scanning hers, before she threw herself at him.

* * *

First her lips sought out his, ferociously, nipping at them, while her tongue provoked his. All pretense of teasing her was gone. Sirius hooked his hands under her ass and fastened her against the wall, his hands grasping her while his tongue fought hers. He shivered and swallowed the deep moans that she seemed to be emitting involuntarily, before letting out a groan of his own when she rubbed the front of her dress against the fly of his trousers.

Sirius stopped thinking clearly, he didn't care that someone could easily spot them or walk in on them. Her lips clashing against his, her body grinding on him, making him harder than he had any right to be, was too much for his brain to handle. He needed to get his fix, he needed to get this out of his system and it seemed she did to if the way her nails were clawing into his shoulders were any indication.

His hands left her ass before palming it one last time and went to grab her thighs. Marlene steadily, shifted back for a moment, took hold of the button of his jeans and unzipped them. Sirius, not to let her take control again, slammed her against the wall.

"Nuh uh McKinnon." He growled, pulling away enough to stare her down.

"Why?" She shot back, her eyes loaded. "Can't handle it?"

Sirius's pulse raced as his grey eyes darkened, and his pupils dilated. "Oh, I can handle it, but the question is, _can you_?"

Her mouth opened to argue, but her tongue swiftly became engaged with his. His hands grazed up her inner thighs, sweeping across the thin material of her pale pink knickers experimentally, before hiking farther up her dress and slipping his thumb under the elastic band that trapped her underwear to her body. A gasp escaped her as his hands curled around them and skated them down her trembling legs. Marlene lifted a leg, so they only hung onto her left ankle, before her hands seized the open opportunity and tugged down his pants and his boxers.

"Oh." She shuddered, her eyes widening.

He grabbed the back of her knees and in a low voice he said, "Brace yourself, on the wall behind you."

"Why? What are you going to-?" Her hands flew to the wall, he lifted her up high above him and placed her ankles around his own hips.

"Keep your ankles locked." He said.

She nodded, just before his hand went up her dress and he inserted a single finger inside of her. "…uhhh."

"Merlin, you're tight…_Merlin_." He said again, his chest rising and falling drastically faster than a few seconds beforehand, his groin tightening. "I might have to warm you up…though you don't need any help getting wet."

Marlene whimpered, her fingers glued on the cold wall behind her. "How are you even keeping me up?!"

"This isn't my first time." Sirius grinned devilishly before adding another finger, making her lurch forward. "Hold on there McKinnon."

"You aren't exactly making it easy!" She said venomously.

Seeing her panting, high above him, brought out an ambition in him he didn't know he had. He pushed his fingers into her as deep as he could go and used his other hand to keep her steady, which wasn't easy considering her hips kept rocking against his hand. Though he wanted nothing more than to drive himself into her until she was crying out his name, he waited. If this was going to be the last time, he wanted the memory to be one that she couldn't forget even if she tried. He wanted her to take shower after shower and still not be able to rid of the feeling of his lips on her skin, and Sirius Black was not a man to not get precisely what he wanted.

Marlene on the other hand was just trying to hang on. Her conscience was gone, along with her dignity and rationality. She didn't know where they went but as the muscles in her stomach tightened deliciously, she couldn't bring herself to even miss them. If this was the road to hell she would go down it voluntarily. There was nothing right or good about this, this was just pure pride and need, and she wasn't fighting back anymore. He had her at a disadvantage and was fighting her with tools she had no defense for. His words she had insults lined up, but his touch? She didn't even know how begin winning that battle. Especially since she was getting so close to the end. The darkness waved over her, the muscles between her legs began to strain. _So close_. All she needed was a push, just one, hard push and she would be…

His fingers left her, and her eyes glowered at him with pure hate before she saw what he had in mind. Looking down, she saw him stroke himself a few times before placing his tip right at her core. An area that was burning and turning in eagerness, went wild when he slowly moved himself into her. The fall was coming, but she wasn't going to wait for it. Marlene took hold of his shoulders, encased her legs around his waist and in crashing motion, compelled him farther in.

A whimper tore through his throat. His hands clenched her dress possessively, and he watched her lift herself up and down on him, using his body for leverage. It had hardly been long since his last shag, but his body reacted like this was the first time. Considering the sight he was seeing and the blind lust that stirred from her body clamping down on him caused, this in particular was a first. She was hardly moving like this was just any old shag either. Her body began to quiver and he knew by the way she was constricting around him that she was nearly there. Sirius took over when she began to weaken; he went in and out of her in a burst of thrusts. Along the way, he felt her body plaster to his and cry out as she came, but he didn't stop. He kept going, his eyes closed, his goal was in his sights.

Marlene tried to help him though she couldn't feel much below her waist. A serene calm came over her, but his movement disrupted that. Marlene bit into his shoulder, a small little nibble that couldn't have possibly hurt him, but she didn't have the slightest clue why she did it. She'd never bit anyone before, but when she did, he buried his head into her neck, sucking all of the life out of it. Tugging at the back of his sweat drenched shirt, she pulled him closer to her, hoping it would send him over brink.

Then she felt him seize her, and go incredibly still. His body shook, until he was spent. Every last drop of him was inside of her and his head rested on her dress straps. They waited a few minutes, both of them were sweaty and horribly out of breath. Sirius's arms were still around her and he still had yet to pull himself out of her.

He needed to pick her up to untangle himself from her, but it wasn't easy. Eventually the strength returned to him and he slowly pulled himself out. Her legs dropped to the ground clumsily and she rested her weight to the grey stonewall for support. His face rose from her chest and his eyes flickered around her face; his usual smirk had disappeared and was taken by a look of amazement.

Breaking away, Marlene shimmed her knickers back up, wincing at how damp they were. Regret began to eat away at her, but the cool calm sensation that was spreading across her body numbed her to that. The guilt was coming and she would wish she had just stayed in her bedroom like a good little girl later, but for then she didn't care.

"Answer me one thing." He said suddenly.

Marlene let out a small sigh, fixing her hair. "Yes?"

"Which bedroom is yours?"

"…Third from the right of the back door." She said giving him a confused look. "Why?"

Sirius zipped up his jeans and rebuttoned them, with a large smirk.

"…Why Black?" She asked again, this time her voice stronger.

"I'll see you later."

"No! _No_. No no no." Marlene followed him with the little strength she had left. "You will not see me later! You will go home like a good little Gryffindor and stay away from me."

Sirius turned and looked her dead in the eye. "Is that what you really want?"

"Uh…Um."

"That's what I thought." He sent her another mischievous grin and said, "Until later McKinnon."

And with a pop, he apparated.

"_Sodding….son of an….Idiot_!" Marlene shouted, but he was too far-gone to hear her.


	5. Ho Hey

_(Ho!) I've been trying to do it right_  
_(Hey!) I've been living a lonely life_  
_(Ho!) I've been sleeping here instead_  
_(Hey!) I've been sleeping in my bed,_  
**-The Lumineers-**

* * *

Sitting at dinner with her future in-laws was one thing, but sitting with them with the impression of another man's hands still on her body was quite another.

"Your sister's wedding was quite beautiful." Mrs. Lestrange said in a forced pleasant voice.

"Thank you." She nodded politely, "My step-mother worked very hard to make sure it all went according to plan."

Mrs. Lestrange's already narrow face became nearly hollow as confusion built on her face. "I wasn't aware that she was your step-mother."

"My mother died when I was 13. My father remarried six months later."

"I see." 

An awkward silence didn't just hang in the air it lingered and pecked at them while they each took bites of their food. If Marlene were friends with Rastaban like she was with a great many Slytherin's this wouldn't have been so stiff because she would know his parents. Rastaban never even looked up at her, he'd spent the entire meal counting his carrots and after they were gone she saw him trace the designs of the table. Love wasn't something she expected or even desired from him. He was cold, and if that was who he was that was fine, but she'd like to at least be civil and respectful, every time she was near him though she saw that possibility grow smaller and smaller.

Marlene kept her breaths even and she forced herself to remember why she was doing this. Even if she put logic aside and went for a moral reason, her mother was one hell of a reason. This was normally not such a debate in her head. This was her future, this was set in stone and nothing was going to change that.

But then her mind would unintentionally rebound back to the things Black did to her and she would shiver and force herself to stay present.

When she said she wanted to have fun in her last year of freedom, she meant like go to concerts and do whatever she wanted with her friends. Being shagged against a wall by a complete and total scoundrel wasn't quite what she had in mind. The hilarious part was he wasn't a muggleborn or even half-blood, he was pureblooded. He wasn't impure biologically, just in nature and that's what made him much more dangerous. Black had chosen his life; he had thrown away all the money, all the security and any connection to his family. He had demonstrated that it was perfectly possible to leave the life she led and still survive. That was the number 1 reason why Marlene had to cut off any ties to him immediately. She didn't have the same situation as him, her family meant everything to her and it would be difficult for her to gain a life outside of them. Also she wouldn't be so lucky as to have everything work out like he did. Sirius Black was the exception to disownment, not the rule. And she had to remember that, her entire existence depended on it.

"Marlene," Mrs. Lestrange began, apparently the only one at the table capable of conversation, "How's your food?"

"It's delicious!" She reassured her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep very much last night."

"You should go a potion for that."

Marlene nodded briskly. "I will if that situation continues."

"You must take care of yourself." She let out a fluffy sort of laugh and said, "You can hardly take care of your home and children if you spend the rest of your life with no rest."

"That's true." Marlene agreed, but the reality that in two years she would have a child chilled her bones. But she said nothing more and merely picked at her food until she had not even scraps left.

* * *

"I thought you were bringing snacks," Remus said grumpily when he saw Sirius's empty hands.

Sirius looked at him quizzically, before smacking his own face and groaning. "I forgot. Sorry mate."

"Giving me false hope. You should be hexed within an inch of your life for that." He shook his head in disgust.

"I will take you out for a chocolate fiesta tomorrow, alright?" Sirius promised him, shutting the back door to The Potter's residence.

Remus shook his head grimly, "I don't know if that will be enough…I just feel like you don't even appreciate me. You're out every night with merlin knows who…" He put a weak hand to his own chest. "Where has the love gone?"

Sirius roared with laughter before he retorted. "Well maybe if you put a little more effort into your cooking and the way you look-"

"That's what it always comes back to…isn't it?"

"I love when you get to this delirious humor Moon." James cackled from ahead of them. "It really brings the lighter side of you."

Remus shrugged, his face exhausted but a grin on his face regardless. "A lady does what she can."

Sirius nearly fell over laughing, but he righted himself in the knick of time.

"So what's new with you Padfoot? Where did you disappear to before?" James asked.

"You know…around."

Peter snorted loudly, giving Sirius a proud look. "You never stop, do you?"

"Not if I can help it." Sirius replied cockily. 

The three of them moved Remus safely into the woods well before the full moon was at its highest point. They mostly just messed around and talked. James had brought a quaffle which he would toss around mostly just with Sirius since Remus was too fragile and Peter was too clumsy. But eventually Remus and James got into a philosophical debate of every flavor beans and Sirius's mind began to drift to earlier in the day.

He laid back on the fallen log and placed it under his neck for support as the sound of Marlene's gasps filled his ears. This wasn't a usual hobby of his, but this time had been… unique.

It was the thrill of it; the feeling that though he had her once, if he really wanted to, he could have her again. It would certainly take some persuasion on his part. McKinnon wasn't too keen at the idea to begin with, but he noticed when it came down to it, she was just as affected as he was by the chemistry they seemed to have between them.

This wasn't a foreign concept; it was actually completely evolutionary. He had never shagged someone that seemed less than enthusiastic let alone someone who was opposed to the idea. With Marlene though he saw that she thought she shouldn't want him, but every reaction of her body and all the things she was saying proved she felt otherwise.

It was a tricky rope. He could return and she could be completely disinterested, which would be disappointing, but the thought that she might not be, the idea that she might have been thinking about him ever since he left her, compelled him. There was no doubt in his mind that he had unnerved her, the regret in her eyes when she realized who it was that had caused her to say and do such sinful things had said it all. Sirius couldn't really pinpoint what was so different about this shag from the others he had had in the past week, month or year, but there was an element that was missing from the others, that was encouraging him to go back, urging him to do it again.

He didn't care for shagging the same girl twice, unless the terms were crystal clear and that hardly ever worked. The only occasion he could think of where it had was the previous year with Amelia Bones. She was a Ravenclaw just like Marlene but she was completely different. The minister's daughter, Amelia gained top grades and practically had all of her plans after Hogwarts finalized before she started her last year. She was engaged to some pureblood idiot, but she found a way to get out of that and in her spare time besides being HeadGirl and President of the Charms club, she had a weekly meeting with Sirius in the empty Defense classroom. It was cut and dry and he never had to worry that she would think it was more than it was or become clingy to him. It was quite perfect actually. But now she was graduated and maybe another Ravenclaw would take her place.

Given, Sirius did actually know that women weren't interchangeable. He actually knew a great deal about Marlene considering how much he distained her. She was on the Quidditch team, not a prefect or in the running for Headgirl by a long shot, but popular in a snooty sort of way. Sirius had often thought a good shag would loosen her up a bit, but now he realized he didn't want her to loosen up at all. He quite enjoyed that she thought he was lower than her, because the minute his lips touched her skin, that lower class citizen made her pant in pleasure. It was a kind of power than he had received small doses off before, but never this much. And now it was kind of an addiction. Sirius figured it was like how girls would go for blokes that treated them like they didn't exist; it was the chase, the challenge, the accomplishment of saying they had proven something that no one else could.

Maybe he would go back tomorrow or maybe a week from then, but whenever he did he was determined to do unravel her like he had only hours before.

"Mate?" James questioned giving him a look. "You keep spacing out today. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sirius grinned at him. "Just zoning out. Nothing deep."

James said, "Of course it's not. You've spent the past months shagging every woman in the county and drinking your way through all the pubs. What problems could you have?"

"None to speak of." Sirius agreed. "Almost time."

Remus groaned, a sweat building on his face. "Don't sound so excited…"

"Hold on mate." James told him sympathetically, patting his shoulder lightly. "Nearly there and then you can rest all day tomorrow."

"I'll be…I'll be taking Padfoot up on his chocolate offer."

Sirius smiled at him warmly. "Good."

* * *

Sleep should have found her by now. She had been lying when she said she had trouble sleeping the night before. The night before she had nothing that would have been troubling enough to keep her awake.

Apart of her was terrified he'd just come busting into her room, naked and demanding sex, sex which she would have a hard time saying no to. It wasn't a likely possibility but it was just enough to send her brain into overdrive.

He wasn't coming back. Black had said it just to taunt her, to get under her skin and drive her mad. And she for one wasn't going to give that sick bastard the satisfaction. As far as she was concerned, he got her into this mess, but she was going to drag herself out, no matter what it took.

Still, in her flimsy nightgown she went through fantasy after fantasy in her head, until she eventually fell asleep.

* * *

The next day passed quite quickly for Marlene. She went over Dirk's and laid out in the sun with him for hours while he complained about his lack luster love life.

"I just don't get why girls never go nice guys."

"Oh don't give me that." Marlene retorted, sending him a dirty look as she flipped to lie on her stomach. "Girls don't tend to like whiny men. If you want a girl to like you, get some confidence. We have enough problems without trying to give you a sense of self worth."

Dirk groaned, running a hand through his fluffy brown hair, making his hair spring back to place as his hand passed each strand. "You're saying girls like guys with confidence because then they have less to deal with?"

"Pretty much."

"I guess."

"It's not gender exclusive. Aren't you usually attracted to girls that aren't crying and bitching about the fact that they are single."

Dirk frowned, "Yeah. You're right."

"I'm always right." Marlene grinned at him teasingly. "You need to catch up."

"Yeah yeah, I've always been behind…How was dinner with the in-laws?"

Marlene shrugged her shoulders, her head resting on her arms. "Fine. Nothing spectacular."

"Are you warming to the idea of it?"

"Arranged marriage or Lestrange?"

"Either, both."

Her lips pursed as she said. "Arranged marriage is necessary and I'm sure I will eventually get used to him, but for right now it's just uncomfortable. They keep shoving us in a room and essentially saying, starting next year we will be sharing the same bed for the rest of our lives."

"Not necessarily, I'm sure your house will be big enough that you could even have your own wings."

"Yeah. I suppose." She laughed shallowly. "I wish I could have just married you. Then I would high five you when you would get a mistress and we could play wizard's chess all the time. It would be glorious."

"You forget the part where you have to consummate the marriage."

Marlene sighed waving her hand dismissively, "Minor detail."

Dirk snickered, "Well you can blame your step-mother. My parent's are traditional, they want me to marry a pureblood but they're not going to force me to. Your step-mother wasted zero time with all of you."

"Well after what Evan did, she wanted to make sure her married name wouldn't be tainted again."

"Didn't she plan Ava's marriage before she was even married to your father?"

"Yeah," Marlene laughed dryly, her skin warming from the bright sunlight. "Ava was married a month before Gretchen even officially became my step-mother."

"Well, damn, she got that together quickly."

"She's not one to wait."

Dirk groaned loudly as he stretched his scrawny body. "I think I'm going to give up on Tanya."

"…Really?"

"Yeah. She's just stringing me along and I deserve more than that."

Marlene shifted to look at him, a certain amount of pride in her eyes. "Good for you."

"You're right. I'm insecure and she sees that and instead of just telling me she's not interested she keeps implying she might like me and hanging all over me. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of her playing me because she thinks I'm weaker than she is."

Surprising flitted to Marlene's face. "Well, she is a Slytherin, she thinks she's stronger than everyone."

"Still."

"No I agree with you. Your logic is sound."

Dirk visibly relaxed and gave her a small smile. "That means a lot from you."

"…Why?"

"Because you never do anything without thinking about the reward and consequences. You are the best at advice because of that…You are the least impulsive person I know."

Marlene flushed, closing her eyes she said, "You'd be surprised."

"Of what?" He shot at her, "I'm going to need an example because I don't think it's ever happened."

"I can't think of anything off the top of my head-" She lied bluntly.

"Exactly," Dirk chuckled shaking his head. "You have never made a mistake in your life."

Marlene rubbed her face and said. "Yes I have. I'm human."

"Well if you can ever think of an example, please owl me." He mocked, "Day or night. Because I need to know what you could ever do that would be reckless or stupid."

"I will have to take you up on that."

Dirk snorted at her before checking his watch. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Sure."

"Then come on." He said tugging at the sleeve of her shirt. "The sun's about to go down in a few minutes."

Marlene pushed herself up to her feet and wiped her hands off on the back of Dirk's grey t-shirt.

"Oy!"

"What? My jeans cost more than your entire closet." She shot back innocently. "It's not my fault your parents let you by your clothes from thrift shops."

Dirk pushed her with a scoff. "Just because I don't buy designer clothes doesn't mean I get my clothes used. I'm just a boy. I don't need to have something to go with everything."

"I understand, but then you can't complain when I use you as a dishrag."

"Actually," He said wrapping an arm around her waist. "That's exactly what I can do."

She ruffled his hair, puffing out her cheeks and extending her lips while she said, "Baby Dirk, cry cry cries!"

"You know, I could throw you in the lake."

"I'd pay A LOT of gallons, to see you try and lift me!" She cackled as he feigned picking her up.

Dirk said, "Nah. I don't want to throw my back out lifting your heavy ass."

"Oh yeah," She drawled sarcastically. "I'm just enormous."

"Yes, you should consider going on a wait loss plan."

Marlene elbowed him in the inside. "Forget you Dirk."

He cringed away from her with a wide smirk on his face. "Oooh I'm so scared."

"Yeah? You should be. Last person who pissed me off ended up on the grounds naked and locked out of the castle."

"I did think that was shitty thing to do." He said, "You could have at least given her a towel or something."

Marlene closed the door and said, "I don't discriminate. I punish women the exact same way I'd fight a man. A bruise will heal, humiliation will last forever."

"You're evil."

She smirked impishly. "Yes I am," before following him into the kitchen and joining his family for dinner.


	6. If I Never See Your Face Again

_'Cause you keep me coming back for more_  
_And I feel a little better than I did before_  
_And if I never see your face again_  
_I don't mind_  
_'Cause we gone much further than I thought we'd get tonight_  
**-Maroon 5-**

* * *

It had been three days since she'd since him and she got to the point where she stopped looking for or expecting him to show up. Se had her last adventure, and now would push away those feelings along with any illusions she had.

Climbing into her bed, she snuggled up in all of her blankets. It was twenty degrees colder in her room then it was in any other area of the house. She liked to flick on all of the fans and just create her out little cocoon of sheets separating her from the world, her own little haven.

Her blonde hair was kept back in a messy bun and she wore a long and baggy black t-shirt with a picture of a kitten on it. She was perfectly ready for bed and she began to drift off when she stiffened at the sounds of something.

Marlene heard a knock on her window, but she didn't think it was one at first. Since she lived on the first floor of her three-story house, her room was blocked by a very large oak tree and several prickly bushes and could have very easily been a bush branch scratching her window, if the sound wasn't so particular she wouldn't have left her bed.

Rising she rubbed her face sleepily, grabbing her wand and relighting the candles around her room so she could see. Pulling back her curtains, Marlene looked apprehensively around before she saw a rather attractive seventeen year old boy standing there, his head only reaching the bottom of the ledge.

"What the hell…?" She whispered in bewilderment pushing the window open.

"I told you I would come back."

She squinted at the clock and grumbled, "…It's 1am Black."

"I figured I'd be less likely to get caught…" His eyes looked bright from the light of the moon shining down on him.

Her voice caught, but she quickly regained. "…Why are you even here?"

"Are we going to do this little dance every time we do this?" He said with a large sigh, his lands leaning on the edge of the window ledge.

"Are you planning on coming back again?" Marlene questioned before she could stop herself.

He laughed, his head tilting. "That depends."

"On what?"

"_On you_."

Marlene shook her head and laughed at him, sleep still clung to her, but it was fading. "You are ridiculous. This can't and won't work. You weren't supposed to come here in the first place."

"Yeah, but I did and judging by the flush in your skin when you saw me again," He said with a smirk, "I think it was pleasant surprise."

"It didn't happen." She said flatly. "As far as I'm concerned nothing happened."

"My memory says differently…"

He clearly wasn't going to leave based on the ethics so Marlene tried to appeal to his logic…if he had any. "Look, you shag girls all the time. One's that I'm sure are far more interested in you and are much less of a hassle. So why don't we just go back to hating each other and forget this?"

"You don't hate me."

Marlene's hands went to her face. "I feel like I'm in the middle of hell…is this what hell is?"

"If you want me to leave, all you have to do is say so."

Her hands dropped. "…Isn't that literally what I've been saying?"

"_No. You haven't_. But it's simple; I don't have to be here. So it's your choice," Sirius stated calmly. "Do you want me to leave or not?"

"The answer is obvious."

"Then why can't you say it?"

Marlene gaped at him. "I don't know what you're-"

Sirius let out an aggravated breath, gripped the window ledge and with one push, he lifted himself up. He then raised one leg, then the other over the sill before ducking and landing on her carpeted bedroom floor.

"What are you do-?!" She began, but she stopped when he easily maneuvered through the window and was standing inches from her.

He was so tall. She'd always been looking at him from six inches higher so he never seemed to be that tall, but at her natural height she felt vulnerable and exposed.

"Your room is kind of boring." He said glancing around.

She crossed her arms over her nightshirt and said, "Thanks."

"I'm just saying. Aren't you a girl? Shouldn't you have pictures of you and your friends everywhere?"

Marlene scowled. "I won't be living here too much longer so I figured I'd take it down early."

"So you wouldn't be so attached?"

"Something like that."

Sirius's eyes glued to her, in particular, her form. "Is this another sundress?"

"No, it's a night shirt. No one was supposed to see me-"

"What? Embarrassed of your skinny, pale little legs?" He teased, leaning back against the window.

Her eyes narrowed and she took a step forward, "I'm not ashamed of anything."

"Then why did you explain yourself?"

"I…you…" Marlene let out a noise of frustration. "WHAT IS WITH YOU?! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO PISS ME OFF?"

"Because, no one else can seem to do it, but I can."

He watched as the vein in her throat throbbed and her face tightened. It was obvious she was trying to control her temper and think of a rational way to get him to leave, but that was her entire problem. There was no rational way to cut something out of your life that you want there, even if it's damning and horrible for you. Because there was nothing worse than wanting something you shouldn't have and despite her words filled with hatred, Sirius saw her eyes flicker down his body when her self-control was losing steam.

"I'm fine." She stated. "You're not doing anything to me. I'll just go back to sleep." Marlene flicked her wand to shut off the lights. "I'm sure you can figure out your way out."

If Marlene thought Sirius wouldn't call her bluff, she didn't know him at all.

The second she shifted for her bed, both of his hands shot back, seized his shirt and pulled it over his head. Revealing his very well built torso, a happy trail proudly and oh-so arrogantly working down from his navel to down past the band of his trousers. What caught her eye most though was the dents on either side of his hips because she knew exactly what they lead to.

"What…what are you doing?"

"I can't sleep with my shirt on."

Marlene laughed, her eyes surveying him. "Oh, you're planning on sleeping here then?"

"You just invited me to. I can't be rude."

"Yes," She said sarcastically. "Because your manners are one of your countless attributes."

He grinned at her, his hands unhooking his belt and tossing it carelessly on the floor. Then, his eyes locked on her, his fingers went for his top button of his trousers before trailing down to unzip them. Sirius nearly laughed at how determinedly she was focusing on his eyes. She didn't break, not even for a second, if she had she might have seen just how turned on this was making him.

"I suppose you can't sleep with your trousers on either."

"I'm not a barbarian McKinnon." He said as if it was obvious.

She stayed firm and forced herself to be unfazed. "Fine. Go for it."

Marlene didn't have the slightest fucking idea what she was doing. Why didn't she tell him to leave? Why didn't she throw him out? And why the hell was she letting him get into her bed. Even if he didn't lay a single finger on her it was still wrong in more ways than she could count. Still her body moved without her consent. She got under her covers and tried to against all reality, to control her breathing.

He didn't touch her, but he might as well have. Sirius could feel her shifting and twitching in the four inches that separated them. And he could feel his own limited self-restraint slipping. The point wasn't whether he got any; he could do that any time. The point was he couldn't let McKinnon win this little battle. He had to entice her.

* * *

"McKinnon," He spoke softly.

"Yeah?" She asked in a high voice.

"What are you wearing under that shirt?"

A shudder of a laugh filled the room, and he felt his groin tighten at the sound. "Nothing actually…Not for the reason you're thinking. I don't like to sleep in my knickers."

"Interesting."

"Is it?" She said boldly, unable to stop herself.

Sirius licked the underside of his top lip. "Well, let me see."

"What do you…" Her voice stopped dead.

The room was pitch black, she couldn't even see her dark blue comforter, but she could feel the comforter rising and she stayed perfectly still, trying to think of what he would do before he did it. Even if she had thought of it, she wouldn't have been able to prepare herself for it. She felt half drunk from sleep, that was the only explanation from this haze she was in, a state of mind where she would willingly let Sirius Black's large dry, rough hand, drag across her.

It started on her stomach and she tensed at the added weight, but didn't stop it from going down, grabbing the end of her shirt and slowly sliding it up her body.

"Remember when you said I was predictable," He mumbled, making her jump slightly when she realized how close he must have been.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think now?"

Marlene gulped and let out a soft breath as goosebumps appeared all over her body, which was still technically covered by the comforter along but was easily forgettable with the feeling of his hand on her.

"I still know what you're going to do." She lied bluntly, not knowing or caring anymore if he believed her.

Sirius's smirk dropped, and his face-hardened in resolve. "What am I going to do next?" He said, the tips of his fingers just brushing the curves of her sides.

"I can't tell you. Then you'll do the opposite."

"Then how, are you going to prove you know what I'm going to do then?"

"Because-" She began in her usual cold tone, but she was cut off, when he leaned his face on his arm, inches away from her face.

Sirius's other hand moving, as slowly and delicately as possible down her abdomen to the center of her thighs. "Because?"

"Because... I'm right."

"Really?" He said as his finger traced around her most sensitive spot, in a circular motion.

Marlene's neck arched back and she flattened herself against the bed. "Ah huh."

"Then, what am I going to do next?" He asked again.

"Fuck me probably." She said, the words spilling out of her mouth.

Sirius's lips went to her and he said so not a single other soul in the world could have heard but her. "In a matter of speaking."

Marlene let out a small groan.

"Make that noise again." He gulped, his body aching for her.

Marlene glared at the outline of his face, "Make me."

He nearly tore the sheets off and fucked her until the only word she could say was his name, but he held on. Shuffling, he raised the comforter above both of them and then, without breaking contact with his hand, he began to kiss, suck and bite his way down her body, outlining it with his mouth.

Marlene no longer cared. The entire world could walk in and she wouldn't give a damn. The way her lower half kept clenching in satisfaction was enough to temporarily erase any and all doubt she had. Her breathing began to hitch, and her hands gripped the sheets around her savagely.

"Black," She whimpered, her hips bucking at every flick of his finger.

"I do love the way you say my name, filled with such malice," He voiced, "But I don't think you're saying it quite loud enough."

Before she could even consider what he meant by that, she exploded. In one movement, he managed to slide his already damp fingers up to hold her trembling hips and replaced those fingers with his mouth.

They could send her to hell because that's where she belonged. He was the devil and he was sending her straight to hell. That was the only explanation for the fiery feeling at her core and why, with no hesitation, she raised her legs into the air and let him do whatever the hell he wished. The angle made her grow wild and threw any remaining logic out the window.

Then he did the unthinkable, he pulled away.

"What he fucking hell, do you think-?" She began violently.

"How flexible are you?"

Marlene said, "Enough."

"Okay, well see about that." He said taking each leg, pushing it back against the headboard before diving and burying his face into her.

"OH…OH…" She groaned, her eyes squeezing shut, and her nails digging into his knuckles.

His lips left her and he demanded, "Say my name."

"Black!"

"No…_ my name_."

She opened her mouth, ready to tell him whatever he wanted, when he used his left arm to pin back both legs before he slipped two fingers into her.

"OH!" She gasped, turning to the side in a pant of satisfaction. "SIRIUS!...Don't…Don't…_don't stop_….I'm…nearly…uhhh!"

"I knew you would be loud." He said, his own voice ragged.

Marlene fell back, her legs going limp and her breathes evening out.

"So, you knew that was coming. Did y-" He began cockily, but wasn't allowed to finish.

Marlene hooked her hand around his arms and forced him down on the otherside of the bed. Before he could react, she clawed at his boxers, forced them down and ran her hand down his tip, earning a deep grunt from him.

"Can you go twice in a row?"

Sirius gaped at her. "Um…normally yeah-"

"Good." She said flatly, taking his entire length and swallowing it.

"_Fuck,_" He spat through gritted teeth, his hands clamping onto her hair. "…Merlin…That's…it."

"This," She said rolling her tongue up and down the shaft before taunting the tip. "Is not my first time."

"I'm almost…" He breathed before he let out a shallow breath and began to shudder and spasm.

Marlene frowned. "Well that didn't last long..."

"I was already.." He took a pause to sigh heavily, "Ready to come... before you touched me."

"Well," She said grabbing him and gliding him all of the way inside of her, "Let's hope you hang around longer this time."

Sirius flung his head back and let out a few hard thick breaths at the rapid rush of contact. "Are you sure you want to be-?"

Marlene braced her hands on his shoulders and began to rock her hips in a dipping motion, letting a little bit of him leave her before slamming him back inside. "I don't need any help."

"Take that fucking shirt off." He barked at her.

She shook her head, "Nope. You wanted to interrupt my sleep, and this is all your getting."

He didn't even care. His hands went under her shirt, and she bent low so he could capture her breasts, the only thing he had been earning to touch, wilted in his grasp.

"Merlin, McKinnon…" He groaned, biting his bottom lip.

"That's not my name." She shot at him, with wide smirk.

He half-laughed at her. "Marlene."

"That's right, the next time you think," She paused, before forcing herself to continue, "that you've gotten the better of me. I want you to remember that."

"I will," He told her, his thumbs rolling across her nipples.

* * *

Around twenty minutes later, Sirius finished and Marlene did too, for the third time the night and the second time in this position.

"Ahh," She moaned, her body shaking.

Marlene had nothing left, she was thankful of her fore thought to brace herself on his shoulders because otherwise she wouldn't be able to sustain for that long.

"You okay?" He questioned unevenly.

She nodded, timidly. "I'm too weak…to get up."

Sirius laughed, the noise honest and clear. "Hold on, I can help."

Marlene laughed a bit too, as he edged her off of him and she fell with a small thud down onto the mattress beside him. "Thanks."

"Yep."

Marlene groaned as she rolled onto her back. Her whole body loose and numb like an overcooked noodle. "I can't feel my toes."

He snorted, a wide smile across his face. "Can you normally feel your toes?"

"I've never really thought about it." She said honestly, "But I know I can't right now."

"Well, you were quite athletic."

Marlene laughed under her breath. "You too."

She was a bit delirious with exhaustion and coming down from a really tall high, so when she felt around for him and asked, "Where's your hand?" She didn't think.

He gave it to her and she slapped it for a high five. "Good work."

"Did you just high five me for good sex…?"

"Yes. Yes I did. You did good work and I value that."

Sirius shook with laughter, twisting around he pulled her into a hug and kissed her shoulder. "You are so strange."

"I can barely feel you there. My body gave up." She said.

"It happens."

"When you leave," Marlene said after yawning, "If you forget anything I'll owl it to you."

Sirius nodded into her. "Okay."

"I'm so tired," She mumbled, cuddling into her pillow.

"Go to sleep then."

"I will, night Black."

Sirius said, "Night McKinnon."

He heard her breaths even out and felt her body go motionless next to him. This was the point where he was supposed to get up and walk out, but he was spent. Even getting her off of him took more energy then it should have. She was, in his modest opinion, bloody amazing. He'd met girls that were flexible or could go for a long time, but nothing he'd ever experienced could match up to the shag fest he'd just went through. When she woke up she'd go right back to spitting in his face and calling him a bastard, but perhaps that was why he liked her. She didn't swoon when he walked in the room or give into him easily. Marlene McKinnon fought with him every step of the way, and he loved it. Look at what she managed to do to him.

Normally, he only spooned with Mary when neither of them were willing to give up the couch in the Gryffindor common room. Other than he never did it. It wasn't an act that he found appealing. Why would someone want to be that close to someone else when they were sleeping? Especially since he tended to snore and take up all the blankets. But at that specific moment he didn't mind that much.

Sirius didn't even know why he was still holding her; she didn't seem to mind when she was conscious but it seemed unnecessary now. Pulling back, he laid back for a few moments. Soon he would rise, put on his clothes, but his eyelids kept trying to close. He tried to fight it, but one second he was thinking about pulling up his boxers and the next, he was snoring and dead asleep.


	7. Miss Jackson

_A pretty picture but the scenery is so loud,_  
_A face like heaven catching lighting in your nightgown,_  
_But back away from the water, babe, you might drown_

**-Panic!At the Disco-**

* * *

September 1st 1977

"Can't believe this is it." Peter commented, trailing behind Sirius. "Fuck…I have to figure out what career I want now."

"Mate," James started amusedly, "I think you probably should have figured that out two years ago when we were talking to McGonagall about it."

Sirius waved back at James dismissively, "He has plenty of time, a whole year."

"Says the boy with no direction." Remus shot at Sirius, adjusting his grip on his luggage and dodging people in the aisle way.

"Oy!" Sirius said defensively. "I have direction."

"Yeah," James interjected, "In the direction of the girls dormitories."

"Speaking of women," Sirius said, "How is the HeadGirl doing?"

Blushing, James kicked the back of Sirius's leg, nearly causing him to fall. "Sod off, Paddy." 

Sirius roared with bark-like laughter, the sound of which echoed down the hall, in spite of all the students and noise that should have suppressed it. They passed by a compartment, and Sirius's eyes lifted, still full of mirth, when his eyes caught on a familiar pair of indigo eyes.

His eyes did scan the two other girls in the compartment of six, but their faces left his mind the instant he saw her. The muscles in his chest contracted, and his Adam's apple bobbed. Though his face exposed nothing, there was a lust in his glance that seemed to break through the window and burned through her. Sirius didn't nod or acknowledge her even; he knew she had felt his gaze. It wasn't confidence; it was just a feeling, a feeling that he carried with him back to their compartment.

* * *

He had been right.

Marlene's cheeks flushed, though she kept her eyes on Dirk, who was telling an animated story, waving his arms around madly as he told it. A laugh shook out of her, and she propped one hand on Kara Rosier's delicate shoulder for support. 

"Dirk," Tanya Zabini, shook her head, a tiny smile on her plump lips. "You _have_ to be the single biggest idiot in the world."

"I don't think so. Otherwise, the hat wouldn't have put me in Ravenclaw. With the whole intelligence factor." Dirk pointed out slyly, sitting down on the floor.

"If you had half a brain in your head," Alphonse Zabini, Tanya's twin brother, began wryly. "You'd know being in Slytherin means you're smart enough to know you have to get ahead to win."

Kara nodded in agreement, her pale blonde hair bobbing. "Besides, couldn't you have asked the hat to place you in Ravenclaw?"

Dirk rolled his eyes, "You three are so negative! No wonder you're all in Slytherin. All about scowling, brooding and thinking you are above all others."

"Yes," Marlene backed him with a smirk, "We Ravenclaw's already are ahead of the rest of you. We just like to let you think you have a chance of getting ahead of us. It gives us something to watch while we wait. So it baffles me why you lot are so arrogant."

Ethan Cambell snorted and scratched his rugged jawline. "You five are absurd." 

"Speaking of absurd." Dirk connected with a lazy grin, "What's this I hear about you being Quidditch captain?"

Ethan, the quietest of group, who was sitting to Marlene's left, nudged her, "That's a question for you."

"No it's not." Marlene replied. "You got the job."

Tanya retorted, "Yeah, because you turned it down."

"I don't need the bullshit." Marlene said simply pushing her hair out of her face. "I have enough problems."

"What? Like covering your hickeys?" Alphonse said with a loud snicker. "You better get some heavier cover up for the marks Lestrange has been leaving on you lately."

Marlene kept her composure and said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think, we're talking about the bruises from a few weeks ago and red marks you keep mysteriously getting." Alphonse said, smirking, leaning forward to stare at her. "So _out_ with it."

"I have nothing to share. He's never done more than dance with me."

Kara sneered, "Is _that_ what you call it?"

"You all are insufferable." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Well if it's not Lestrange," Tanya continued where her brother had left of. "Then who is it? My money's on Potter."

Marlene furrowed her eyebrows. ".._Potter?_"

"You both have Quidditch in common, are cordial and you know he's going to end up with that mudblood so you have nothing to fear commitment wise." She reasoned, running her fingers through the ends of her ink black hair.

"And all of that means I'm willing to shack up with that blood traitor?" Marlene said.

"Oooh I like this game!" Dirk proclaimed, clapping his hands together. "What about Amos Diggory?"

"He graduated last year."

Alphonse put a hand to his chest dramatically, "Does that mean your love for him fades?"

"I'm just say-ing."

"What about Rastaban's brother?" Dirk suggested, his face brightening in excitement. "Ooh that would be a bit of intrigue with a dash of betrayal."

Marlene laughed at him. "_A dash?_ You think sleeping with my fiancee's brother would only be a _slight_ problem?"

"Not all relationships are perfect," Dirk shrugged, "But honestly how racy would that be?!"

"I don't know." Marlene grimaced, "I think his scary wife would be enough to keep me far far away from him."

Alphonse shivered, "She was slipped an extra dose of crazy at birth…"

"You might want to keep that opinion to yourself." His sister scolded him, "You could get your tongue cut out for saying that." 

"On that lovely note, I'm going to go to the loo." Marlene declared standing up.

Kara asked. "Want me to come with you?"

"No. I think I'll stop in on Rastaban."

"You really need to come up with a nickname for him. His name is far to formal." Kara suggested.

Marlene scoffed. "I'll put it on my to do list."

"I'm not done with our game!" Dirk protested, "Erik Nott?"

"...Really?" Marlene questioned with a look of pure disgust. "_Er-ik?_...I will be going now."

"OOH! WAIT! I have the perfect one! What about Sirius Black?"

Marlene froze, gulping but she recovered quickly. A mask of amusement on her face, "_Yes!_ You've found me out!" She teased. "How did you find out about my deep and un-abiding love for the stupidest idiot to ever exist?!"

Kara and Tanya doubled over in laughter, while Dirk tried to protest. "It would break Potter's heart after you're relationship with him tanked so quickly."

"I'm not dealing with you Dirk. I will be going now."

* * *

Closing the door, she heard chuckles fill the room she had just left, the smile falling right off her lips. She moved just far enough away from the compartment door so none of them could see her. The train shook rhythmically as it worked it's way down the tracks leading to the castle. The journey would surely take at least five more hours, but she didn't know if she could last that long.

It was one thing if she didn't know where he was or what he was doing, but he was here. Just down the aisle, doing nothing in particular, probably just messing around with his friends or attempting to flirt with a fifth year. Regardless, he was close, and she needed to see him. She needed his hands on her; the contact of his touch on her skin, to remind her that she was alive.

Heading to the back of the train she nodded at a few people she knew and glared at a few people she didn't like. Her heart was steady until the instant she passed by the compartment she knew was Marauder occupied. Before she even passed the door she heard his laugh and without knowing it she smiled at the sound of it. The question was, how was she going to tell him where to meet her? 

An opportunity landed right in her lap in the means of Emmeline Vance walking into her. Marlene scowled and summoned up her most hateful expression.

"What?" Marlene began hotly, "They don't teach half-blood's how to walk properly where you're from?"

Emmeline's eyes narrowed, and she put her hands on her hips furiously. "I walk just fine. I think you are just so used to walking all over everyone, it must have slipped your mind that other people exist."

"Oh I know vermin, _like you,_ exist." She snipped, looking down at her, though they were the exact same height. "I just wish you wouldn't trash up the corridor so I could go to the loo without having to see _you_."

"You know what?!" Emmeline began, her voice raising enough to alert the compartments around them. "I'm _so_ sick of your shit McKinnon! You aren't better than me. You're not better than anyone. I don't know who gave you the delusion that you were-"

Marlene stepped forward just as Alice, James and Sirius came out of their compartment. She said, "It's called a fact sweetheart."

"Alright, guys come on." Alice groaned. "We aren't even at Hogwarts yet. Can you just go to your separate corner's?"

Marlene spoke first, putting her hands up innocently. "I was just trying to go to the loo."

"Yeah," Alice said, giving her a disapproving look. "Sure you were Mar."

"Filthy liar." Emmeline growled as James pulled her back into the compartment.

Alice scowled, her dimples standing out in annoyance. "Mar, please go."

"Will do." Marlene said mockingly. Strutting forward, Marlene tossed her hair over her shoulder and went to her desired destination. 

Her plan was to wait for ten minutes. If he didn't show by then he either wasn't interested, couldn't get away or didn't get that she was waiting for him. She stood against the door of the last compartment behind the loo. It was usually empty as no one particularly cared for being that close to the bathroom and that trip was no exception.

Closing her eyes, she relaxed and thought of the summer. It was easier then. They'd met up every week, nearly every other night if they could help. When everything went to hell and she needed something to take her mind off of it, he was there. It was so convenient and completely needed, especially given who the head nurse and Defense Against The Dark Arts professor were.

The stress was building, and soon, very soon she would have to start making the decisions. No more hanging out with Dirk, or Alice, no more personal life at all really. Maybe she could keep Kara, but that was it. That was all.

She just needed him to get there and remind her why it felt good to exist, to bring her back to feeling human. In the back of her mind, where she repressed all of her logic, she knew that wasn't healthy. This quick fix wasn't healthy, and that too would have to go soon, but not now, not at this moment. Now she was going to seize what she had left and take everything she could from it.

* * *

A loud knock echoed on the other side of the door, biting the side of her lip, she opened the door and stepped away. A smirk grew on her face when she saw him walk in.

"I thought we agreed-" Sirius began in a calm voice, though his eyes gave him away.

Marlene shrugged, locking the door and securing the blinds. "I don't know when the next time I'll be able to get away will be...Besides, I'm bored."

He feigned a pout, "Is that all I am?...A piece of ridiculously, good looking meat?"

"Yep." Marlene grinned, "That's why you knew to meet me here."

Sirius smiled, shaking his head. He slinked around her, his hands shamelessly placed on her ass. "You picked a fight with Em for little ol' me?"

"No I picked a fight with her because I hate her." Her voice lowered, her hands digging into his collar, "Getting your attention was just a fringe benefit."

"_Oh_?" His voice vibrated against her skin, making her stomach tighten. "I'm a fringe benefit."

"Sometimes," She mumbled while his hands rubbed the back of her recently moisturized legs. "I think benefit is perhaps too strong of a word for _you_."

Sirius hiked her up, and pinned her against the door, relishing the excitement in her eyes at the sudden gesture. She gulped and licked her bottom lip and he took that as an open invitation.

They'd been at this for a month and a half; there was no hesitance between them. He knew exactly what to do and had perfected the means to do it. Marlene's hands gripped his hair and she moved against him without a single thought or reservation. She pushed against him and he slammed her back down, leaving her breathless. 

"Don't do that," She said ghostly, "Someone will hear!"

"I don't-"

Marlene scoffed, "I know you don't care, _but I do_. So Black if you would please-"

"Alright, I'll be quieter." He grumbled, "But I expect something in return."

"You are _on something_ if you think I'm doing anything on this train." She retorted, her body still being held up against the door by him.

Sirius said, "Then, what was the bloody point of this?!"

"Want me to go?" She questioned, raising her eyebrows.

"How far are you going to go?" He countered.

She sighed, "Clothes stay on."

"…That sounds like the worst idea ever McKinnon. What do you think mere friction will get me off? I'm not_ that_ easy."

"Or you could see it as a challenge." She said hopefully.

Sirius chuckled, kissing up the base of her throat, he groaned. "I can be quiet."

"No you can't." She snickered back, "You traumatized my house elf. Mika wouldn't look at me for weeks."

"Serves her right for not knocking." He mused, biting her shoulder.

Marlene giggled softly. "I'm just sa…"

"Yes?" He asked, watching her hand clap down her mouth to block the sound of the moan that was building in her throat. "Why can't you say anything McKinnon? _Hmm?_"

She glowered at him, but her hand dropped when he put her on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Rule is clothes stay on right?"

Marlene let out an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, that's it."

"I bet you break before I do." He said wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Fine," She said with an embarrassed smile. "Prove it."

He moved before she could think. His tongue engaged in full frontal attack on her mouth, he grabbed her, lifted her up and put her down on the cushioned bench. She let out a shuddery gasp and he swallowed it and continued single-mindedly. His hand slipped under her blouse and grasped her chest, seizing her. She rocked against him, her skirt sliding up so her wet knickers rolled against the hard center of his pants.

Sirius groaned, his tongue tracing her lips before going for her throat. He didn't stay there long. He lifted off of her and hovered over her for a moment.

"I love these fucking skirts, it makes everything so much easier." He said.

"Fuck…you cheater." She groaned as his hand snuck up her leg, the other hand untucking what little fabric was hanging on to the band of her skirt. His lips went to the skin just above her left hip.

"And you see, I'm not even going under yet." He pointed out. He grinned, "I actually really like this game…"

Marlene wasn't going to let him win, not this easily. She maneuvered around him before he could stop her, hooked her arms around him and flattened him on his back.

"Damn, McKinnon" He mumbled gruffily, before she climbed on top of him and glided her tongue over his. She kissed him until their lips were swollen and his hands began to grip her skirts so hard he was nearly going to rip it, that's when she moved away and began to kiss down his body…

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Marlene McKinnon left the compartment. There was no proof of what she had just spent the better part of an hour doing, but there was a fresh glow on her face that only Sirius would have looked carefully enough to spot. As promised, she went into her betrothed compartment. He didn't seem too pleased to see her, but then again he never did. It was out of appearances then anything else that she was seen with them. They were both supposed to be on good terms. The entire time though she had to fight to stay neutral, her face kept curving into a smile before she could notice when her mind would drift off to Sirius, and his magnificent hands. She did it though, and she was quite proud of herself for it.

Sirius on the other hand waited a few minutes before he left the compartment, and he really needed those few minutes. When he said that girl had a mouth on her he wasn't kidding. Week by week he kept waiting for it all to become tedious and for the chemistry to die, but in fact the longer they kept it up the more vicious it became. Like this hostile energy that neither of them could fight.

The only thing was…he had begun to turn down other girls. It wasn't a big deal at first. Just one or two, but after a while he just stopped going out. He was getting it regularly so he didn't see why he should waste his energy trying to get other women into bed. It wasn't that girls had lost their attractiveness, he'd still slept with two girls since they'd started this, but it wasn't the same because well he kept coming back to her.

Another thing that seemed to creep up on his mind was her fiancée…Was Marlene having any premarital relations? Or was he one of the many men she played with in her spare time?

They never discussed it. Well if he was going to be honest, they never talked at all. He didn't know a real single thing about her that he didn't know a month ago. It didn't bother him that much, but it did to the point where he considered asking her a few times. It's not like it would stop him if she was. He was just curious, he didn't know why, but it was just something that occurred to him from time to time.

Strutting back to his compartment, he halted when he saw her. He stood, perfectly invisible, and watched as she sat with Lestrange. She didn't even look like the same person. Her face was pinched in smugness like the rest of them and she had perfect posture like a plastic doll. Sirius shifted to keep moving when he saw Lestrange put his arm behind her. It wasn't a friendly move, he saw her twitch, it was a gesture of control and power and Sirius didn't like it. He had half a mind to pull Lestrange away from her, but he quickly thought better of it. It was such a strange impulse, one he couldn't say he had before, but he bluntly ignored it and it's implications before returning to his friends.


	8. Monster

_Can I clear my conscience,_  
_If I'm different from the rest,_  
_Do I have to run and hide? (oh oh oh oh)_  
_I never said that I want this,_  
_This burden came to me_  
**-Imagine Dragons-**

* * *

"We have two new additions to our staff, oddly enough they are siblings," Dumbledore announced merrily as Marlene shrunk in her seat. "Mr. McKinnon will be filling in as our Defense Against The Dark Arts professor after serving years in the Ministry's Auror department. And his younger sister, Mrs. Carrow-" Marlene visibly twitched, but she kept her mouth shut. "Will be filling in as the school nurse this year-"

She phased out all of the other introduction garbage and ignored her brother's gaze on her. Dirk nudged her and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "Did you know he was going to be here?"

Marlene said in an equally low tone, "I found out last week. My step-mother's furious."

"Are you not allowed to talk to him?"

Her face darkened and she nodded.

"Merlin. How are you going to manage that?"

"I'll just stay away from him." She shrugged.

Dirk said, "And your sister? Why is she here?"

* * *

_"Get up, Liv," Marlene insisted, tugging on her sleeve._

_Olivia shuddered, her brown eyes out of focus. "Did you get the boys?"_

_"No." Marlene said. "I didn't get the chance."_

_"…We're screwed."_

_"No, we aren't." Marlene said, bracing the door with a dresser, her indigo eyes searching around the room with a calculated expression._

_"You don't have your wand. You're not physically strong..." Olivia cried, holding her bruised cheek in shock. "They would be able to take him."_

_Marlene cut her off, her voice shaking with rage, "I've had about enough of that talk. I understand my limitations, but let me explain something to you that you clearly haven't learned." She glowered at her sister, "You don't need a man, nor do you need to wait for one to save you. That's not their entire purpose. They don't exist to protect or help you. They don't owe you anything. Nobody does."_

_Olivia said, "How can we win then?"_

_"We use our brains." Marlene said, taking the wooden bat from Olivia's hand. "Sometimes it's not about strength or masculinity, sometimes it's about leverage."_

_She swept her blond hair up into a high ponytail and pried open the window. "There's not enough room for both of us to get out in time. I want you to crawl through here, it's a short drop and run, run and don't turn around."_

_"Where do you want me to go?!"_

_"Um…" Marlene faltered momentarily, before an idea struck her. "Meet me at the oak tree by the side of the road. Don't leave until I get there."_

_Olivia shook her head, "No one will take me in Mar. No one will hide me from him."_

_"We…" Marlene bit her lip, putting her hands on Olivia's shoulders, "We will figure this out, but you have to go now."_

_"Mara, you're my little sister. I can't let you-"_

_"I'm not little anything. He's not going to stay down long." Marlene replied curtly. "Now go, we don't have-"_

_She was cut off, by Michael Carrow bucking the door so violently the hinges and bolts holding the door to the wall shook. Marlene shoved her sister towards the window, before slamming the closet door shut and standing in the gap in the wall next to the doorway. Her hands were having trouble gripping the bat from the sweat practically leaking out of her palms. Her heart was stammering but she held it together. By the skin of her teeth, she was holding it together, but what she needed was for her sister to get out before he did any more damage to her._

* * *

"No idea," Marlene said, ducking her head. "I guess Dumbledore needed someone."

"How does her husband feel about that?"

Marlene cleared her throat and said, "Let's talk about something else. What's going on with you and Emilia Parker?"

"We are engaged in a highly interactive silent battle of eye flirting…it may be too advanced for you to understand."

"Naturally." She said with a forced smile.

His face softened, and he put his hand on her arm. "Are you sure, you're okay?"

"I'll be okay." She smiled, in a way she only could with him. Marlene rested her head on his shoulder.

After her tryst with Sirius on the train she felt a little more balanced, but the feeling didn't last. Sitting with Rastaban had been a horrible idea. She'd forgotten just how much she hated his friends until she was roped into spending nearly the entire train ride with them. Given it was a good thing that Rastaban wasn't as cold and heartless as he usually was, so maybe they were headed in a decent direction, but even that wasn't enough to make up for his friends. They weren't just racist, almost everyone she knew was, but they went absolutely out of their way to be shitty people. Not that Marlene was the best person herself, but even she didn't say the things they were saying or put the drive and energy they did into tearing everyone else down.

It left her drained and feeling exhausted, and being this close to her brother wasn't helping. She felt him looking at her, the pressure of Matt's eyes on her unsettled her. Not because of anything Matt could do or would do, but because she wasn't allowed to be around him. Even being near him, the notorious blood traitor that married a muggle girl, would ruin her reputation.

But that conflicted rather directly with the rather thin line of ethics she based her life around. Family came first, that was why she was engaged, that was why she did nearly everything she did, but here was his ostracized brother, the man who had taught her how to fly on a broom and used to put her on his shoulders when she couldn't see in a crowd. It wasn't like he was Evan, who barely talked to her over the years and when he was home didn't have much to say. Matt had always made an effort with her until the whole thing fell apart.

Now what was she supposed to do? Go to class, hear his voice, maybe even hear his laugh and act like it didn't affect her? Act like he meant nothing to her? Though it was perfectly impossible, Marlene felt like she had lost weight in the past eight hours, her collarbone seemed to poke out and chest seemed shallower.

She leaned on Dirk in a way she could never trust herself to really lean on most people. He didn't say anything more to her, Dirk chirped to all of the people around them and occasionally rubbed her arm or squeezed her wrist. It wasn't much, but it helped.

* * *

At the Gryffindor table, Sirius was in his element, his head ducked with James, Remus and Peter.

"Then it's settled," James said authoritatively, "Paddy, you will be the bait, Remus you work with Peter on the Slytherin common room…And I," He frowned, "Will be in the middle of the Gryffindor common room."

Sirius grinned at him, patting him on the shoulder sympathetically. "It's a tough break mate, but soon you'll be back on the front lines with us. You just have to have an alibi for a bit."

James said, "I know. I know…I just hate sitting out."

Remus said, "You're not. You planned it and delegated. You're the couch."

"That's a beautiful way to look at it, Moony." Sirius snorted mockingly.

"Well you know me. I'm full of optimism." Remus said sarcastically, throwing a pear at Sirius.

Sirius grinned at him. "Oh Moony. You look so gorgeous this evening."

"Then why don't you ever take me out?" He huffed dramatically, with a small smile.

"Because Prongsie here has caught my attentions."

Peter cackled, "What is this? The Secret Marauder Diaries?"

"Don't test me, Pete. I'm not above quilling that," Sirius teased, "I would make an exceptional writer."

"For stuffy desperate woman books." James snorted. "Not anything worth reading."

Sirius scoffed, rising for his seat along with half the hall. "I'll have you know I have a very vivid imagination."

"So says half the female population, but where's the proof?"

"I'll tell you what. For your birthday I'll write you some stories."

James laughed, shaking his head, "I can't wait."

The boys split off to their respective duties. James struck up a conversation with Lily, which she surprisingly took to well. Sirius smiled, and continued walking. After the summer James had he could use some happiness even if it was just mere friendship. His smile dropped, and his face-hardened while he maneuvered around students.

* * *

_"Mum, I'm going."_

_"I don't want you to. It's a simple-"_

_"I'm going."_

_"Sirius, you do not have to come with me." Mrs. Potter insisted, her eyes averted, her hand reaching for her purse. " I didn't even tell James about this..."_

_"Mum, I'm going." He said in a low determined voice._

_She frowned, "Well alright. But none of this to James. I'll tell him in my own time."_

_He nodded blankly, flooing with her to St. Mungos._

_Sirius stood outside during the exam, his back pressed against the cold wall while his arms were crossed tightly across his chest. His chest was tight, so tight he had trouble breathing evenly, and his hands were balled up into fists. Watching James's lose his father was unbearable, not just because he was a great man and his best friends father, but because he had become Sirius's father too. And now, his heartbeat was frantic and he couldn't escape the worst outcome._

_Mrs. Potter could die, because at some point, everyone did._

_He didn't cry. After years of every type of abuse imaginable, he had pretty much trained himself how to shut it off. It was tested in the past year, but Sirius managed to bare down, and hold on. This, he couldn't handle, this._

_His father had been a rotten man, but his mother was even worse. No warmth, no affection, nothing but criticisms. Mrs. Potter was the exact opposite. She didn't layer compliments on him, but she always made sure he knew be it with a smack to the back of his head, or an extra helping of supper that he was loved and cared for._

_Listening to the sound of people's footsteps in the hall, Sirius cringed and clenched his eyes shut, until he heard the door click open and his mum's voice telling him to come in._

_"Well?" He asked, his face guarded._

_She scowled, her dark eyes regarding him pensively. "Its not good."_

_"Explain."_

_"It's terminal." Mrs. Potter said in a strained voice. "It's already affecting my esophagus and it will grow to my lungs…"_

_Sirius looked up at the ceiling, his hands beginning to tremble._

_"I don't… I don't know how I'm going to tell your brother…" She clasped her hands to her mouth, her wedding ring gleaming proudly on her hand._

_"I can tell him."_

_"No. No…I should."_

_"No," Sirius croaked, "I should. It will be easier hearing it from me."_

_She began to cry, softly at first, but then it grew into an uncontrollable wave of emotions. He went to her, stooped down and wrapped his arms around her, sinking into her. "I'm so sorry." Mrs. Potter sobbed, "I'm sorry."_

_"I'll take care of him." Sirius vowed, his eyes burning. "James, I'll look after him."_

_"I know you will," Mrs. Potter nodded, locking her arms around him. "I know you will."_

* * *

"Oy!" Remus called, bringing Sirius back to reality, his face full of apprehension. "You're going the wrong way."

Sirius blinked before, shaking his head and turning around. "Ah. Right." 

He turned direction, picking up speed as he thought of the best way to infuriate the Slytherin's out of their common room.

Marlene wandered down the hallway to the library. She didn't particularly like the library; a room full of books wasn't really that appealing to her. Her patience wasn't one of her virtues and sitting looking at a bunch of words for hours on end sounded like hell, but she couldn't stand being in her dorm. The anxiety was just too much, for her to sit on.

Sirius ran fast, the adrenaline pumping hard, a wild laugh on his lips, his dark hair flying through the air while the pack of angry Slytherin's behind him sent hex after hex after him. He dodged most of them, but one slashed through him, dripping blood down the sleeve of his right arm. He stumbled for a second, a gasp of pain staking through him, but he righted himself just as they began to gain speed on him.

He wouldn't be able to out run all six of them forever. He'd have to figure out a place to hide, and fast. If he went into the library Madam Prince would kick him out just as soon as he walked in there, but maybe if he could manage to duck past her, then he could figure out a way to save his skin. 

Running into the library, he went all the way to the back, his stampede bringing Madam Prince on his tail. "BLACK! YOU GET OUT! YOU GET OUT OF THIS LIBRARY THIS INSTANT!" 

Marlene, who was just about to allow herself to go into the library, stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a horde of red faced Slytherin's barreling towards her. Flattening against the wall, her face full of bewilderment, she said nothing as all of them stormed into the library. 

"What the hell?" She mumbled under her breath. Marlene peaked into the library and saw the boys ripping the place apart, much to the librarian's horror and dissatisfaction. "They've gone bloody mad…" 

Not wanting to get involved with this mess, Marlene stepped forward, and was going to head back to her dorm. Whatever this was, it wasn't something she needed to concern herself with. She had walked halfway down the corridor when a dog went charging past her and hid itself behind a tapestries. 

"What the hell is going on?!" She asked, throwing her arms up and going over to check on the dog. "It's okay puppy," Marlene said in a gentle voice, her tennis shoes squeaking against the floor. Dropping down, she lifted the tapestry and frowned when she saw the large dog shaking. "What did those assholes do to you?"

Sirius didn't know how he managed to run into Marlene, but he didn't know whether he could trust her or not. Her face was bent towards his in a look of pity and a kindness he didn't think she was capable of. Even in the tone of her voice was different, it was sweet and her hand went to his nose, to let him sniff it. He wondered how she knew that was the right thing to do. She couldn't know that unless she had been around animals or at the very least liked them, another thing he couldn't imagine being true, but watching the way her big blue eyes were glancing at him…he saw it was.

It was interesting, especially given the fact that she had called her people, the very base she would eventually marry into assholes in such a furious tone. 

"You're hurt. I should take you to the hospital wing." She said, carefully petting him and scratching behind his ear.

Sirius was going to back away when he heard the Slytherin's footsteps behind them. There was no other choice.

He went into her arms, and let her pick him up, which he did with only a bit of difficulty. "Don't worry," Marlene informed him, careful to avoid his injured arm. "I've got you."

* * *

Sirius stayed perfectly still, but his pulse was racing. Somehow, she managed to carry him all the way to the hospital wing. Once they were past the second floor he should have jumped out of her arms and bolted, but he didn't. After a while he relaxed in her arms and came to the conclusion that though she would out the human version of him in an instant, she seemed to be rather attached to his canine form. Every once and a while she would mutter something encouraging to him, and it felt so out of place for him.

This was a girl who blatantly hated him and everyone he was friends with, this was girl who would quicker sell out everyone she knew in order for power and status. He'd thought the Diagon Alley thing was a fluke; she grew a conscience for five minutes, but he'd seen flickers of humanity in her since then. Nothing big, nothing that even stood out when he looked back on it, but he knew it was there. And now, with her hands so kindly petting him, her arms cradled around him, protecting him, he thought they couldn't possibly be the same girl.

Sirius knew Marlene McKinnon; she was a grade A-bitch with a wicked tongue and a snotty attitude. That couldn't be the girl that he was looking up at now, a girl who's face held no contempt or hatred for anything, but was tender and caring. He'd been around Marlene McKinnon enough in the past few months to know a thing or two about her, and this was definitely not a side of her he thought existed. Sirius had teased her about saving everyone, but was it possible that she didn't just do it because she wanted to save the purebloods, but the blood traitors and muggleborns too?

The answer would have been a 'hell no' a month earlier, but as she carried him to the hospital wing, his doubt grew and he wondered if he really know anything about her at all. It wouldn't have a big deal if she had been a one night stand, or if she was the type of girl he normally had a one-night stand with, but she was and had always been something else, and it was beginning to unsettle him. 

Marlene glanced around the hospital wing carefully before setting the dog down gently on a bed. She stooped to pet him, smiling when his grey eyes turned onto her. "LIV!"

Her sister came out from her quarters with a confused expression on her face. Her deep brown eyes flipped from Sirius to Marlene and she said, "Mara, why on my first day of work is there a dog on one of my beds?"

Sighing, she said, "He was hurt in the hallway. What do you want me to do? Abandon him?"

Her older sister laughed dryly, the sound quite similar to Marlene's own. "You really just can't help yourself can you? You just have to protect every creature you come into contact with, don't you?"

Marlene shrugged, sitting down on the bed next to Sirius. Vacantly, she coddled Sirius, to her side, her head hung low. Olivia pushed her blonde hair out of her face, and glanced at Sirius inquisitively, after a few moments of looking him over, she made a clucking noise.

Olivia said, "It's just a gash on his arm, he most likely did it outside but I can put something on it to help it clean."

"I'm sure he would appreciate that." Marlene mumbled.

"You, okay?"

Marlene nodded, tucking her lips in, her eyes glassy.

Olivia grabbed the ointment, applied it to Sirius's cut and then looked back at Marlene, her face falling. "No, no you're not."

She tried to keep it together, but there was no one else around, just her big sister. And everything that had been corroding inside of her, festering and hollowing her out, dashed to the surface. Before she knew it, she was crying and her sister was hugging Marlene to her chest. Olivia rubbed her hand up and down Marlene's back soothingly.

"Shhhh…You're okay. I'm here, Mara."

A coarse stream of tears ran down her face, and she hugged the back of her sister's legs like she did when she was little. "I just…how am I going to be in class with him and not acknowledge him?.._.How…_ How do I act like he's not my brother?"

"He knows what position you're in. I'm sure Matt doesn't blame you."

"I … I feel so bad." Marlene pulled away, her eyes gleaming, "How did you do it? How did you sit across the table from him and not say a thing?"

Olivia frowned, a sigh building in her chest. She glanced around cautiously, before lowering her voice and saying, "I let my little sister put my husband in a coma. I can hardly look at myself, let alone him."

"It's not your fault."

"I was the adult." She stated, through gritted teeth. "You shouldn't have been the one taking care of me."

Marlene shook her head, "It wasn't like that. He was crazy,_ he hit you_. You were in shock."

"Still, I …"

"No, _stop._" Marlene insisted, her face hardening. She grabbed Olivia's hands. "He was a monster, and that's it. We just…we just have to stick together."

Olivia laughed lightly, and kissed the top of Marlene's head. "Yes, we do."

"Do you think…Do you think _she'd_ make us do this…?" Marlene paused, her voice scratchy. "Do you think she'd force us into this life?"

"I'd like to think she would have done something, but we'll never know…"

Marlene released her hold, and rubbed her hands on her face, sniffling. "I just need some sleep, I think."

"It will get easier."

"You always say that." Marlene rolled her eyes, rolling up her sleeves.

Olivia put a wrap around Sirius's paw, "Maybe, I'm hoping one day it will be true."

"Thanks, Liv."

Olivia hugged her sister briefly, before patting Sirius on the head. "You're a good boy, but I don't want to see you in here again. Okay?"

Sirius's tail wagged, and his tongue hung out of his mouth.

"Do you know who he belongs to?"

Marlene shook her head, "No. It's against the rules to bring a dog. I'm sure he belongs to a Gryffindor."

Sirius barked, butting his wet nose into Marlene's hand.

"Okay, okay. I'll take you." She snorted, scooping him up. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

* * *

Sirius let her hold, this time he knew he could walk perfectly fine and it made sense to escape, but he didn't. So many thoughts were bouncing around his mind, that he didn't notice when they arrived at the Gryffindor portrait hole. She put him down, and then ruffled his head.

"I'm going to leave you here buddy. I'm sorry I can't take you in, but you be good okay?"

He licked her nose, earning a high-pitched giggle from her.

"I like you too." She kissed his forehead. "Bye."

Sirius changed back to himself the minute she turned the corner. He felt winded and a little out of it, but it was more mental than anything. Her face was clear in his mind, and he couldn't believe what he had seen or heard. Most times he would immediately tell James something this interesting, but he had a feeling he shouldn't. After all, she had taken him in and her sister had cleaned up his arm. He owed it to her to keep everything he heard to himself.

But it haunted him.

She was different; she cared and wasn't just blindly involved with the pureblood society. Marlene seemed to even be responsible for putting her brother in-law into a coma, that with the information that it bothered her that she had to ignore her blood traitor brother knocked him completely off course.

Who the hell had he been sleeping with? And what the hell was she capable of?


	9. How to Be A Heartbreaker

_Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun,_  
_But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run_  
_Rule number two, just don't get attached to, _  
_Somebody you could lose_

**-Marina and The Diamonds-**

* * *

Heading to Potions, Sirius moved quite slowly for someone who was late for class. If any teacher were to stop him he would say he over slept, though it was a lie. He'd watched Remus, Peter and Frank go to breakfast and Remus even tried to move him along quicker so Sirius could join them, but he lagged behind on purpose.

It had been a week since school had begun; he's been involved in five pranks. The first one was of James's doing and the other four were purely Sirius's idea. He needed to get out of his head and do something active; he needed something to take his mind off the fact that Marlene McKinnon wasn't just a tiny little sex kitten, but actually a full rounded, complex person.

Sirius knew that was a horrible thing to upset him, but the truth of it was he just wanted to have someone around that would have sex and have no other ties to him and nothing that could complicate that. It was selfish, and the little voice in his head that belonged to Mary harshly lectured him that no person should ever just exist to serve his purposes let alone a woman. And he did honestly know that and Mrs. Potter had taught him how wrong that was, so he did know better, but he had never wanted a woman around for more than that. It wasn't like with Mary or even Lily, where he saw them as siblings or relations. Marlene made him think and feel…things, and that was all good and fine when he didn't have reason to worry about that, when she was just a girl.

And she was still a girl, but at the same time she wasn't. There was a lot more to her, more than he saw with other girls and more than he was used to. He knew people could be deeper than he gave them credit for being, but Marlene never was supposed to be in that box. She was supposed to be one-dimensional and now, he couldn't get it out of his head.

Every time he was in Defense, he'd watch her and see if she'd look at her brother. It wasn't on purpose; his curiosity had just taken over to the point where it was an obsession. He needed to know what she was really like, if only to solve the riddle that had been spinning around his head. Was she really evil and her siblings were her weakness or was she good and forced into the life?

It was ridiculous really, but he had never imagined she might not want it. She always had the clothes, the friends, the family and the attitude. The only thing that seemed off was her being friends with Alice, but he always figured that Alice was her exception.

He wanted to have a label or a box to put her in so he could understand her and not have to think anymore about it. Sirius wanted her to surprise him with kinky things she was willing to try or do, not with layers to her personality.

Sirius turned the corner to sneak down the staircase to the dungeons when a pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him into an empty classroom. His eyebrows lifted in confusion, the only light in the classroom was coming from the single window in the back, so it took him longer to see Marlene bolt the door behind him and toss him against a wall.

* * *

"Shouldn't you be in class?" He laughed at her.

She shrugged, "I'll steal Alice's notes later. Besides," She eyed him like he was a juicy stake, "I can think of a few things I'd rather be doing."

Before he could respond she kissed him, not a sweet innocent kiss, but a hot demanding one that was hard on his jaw. Her hands clawed at his collar dragging his face down to hers, which wasn't that far on account of her five-inch heels, but the intensity of her actions made it seem like she hadn't had human contact in months. Any doubts shrunk. All his questions, all his concerns, vanished and became incredibly irrelevant.

Her hips trapped his against the wall, and her lips smacked against his, her tongue teasing his relentlessly. It didn't take him long to react, possibly ten seconds. His hands went for that damn skirt of hers, which covered her bum but did nothing to cure his need to seize it. Marlene grabbed his shoulder, jumped up and snaked her legs around his waist. Sirius moaned, his groin tightening at the sudden change.

His arms supported her, but he got an idea when he heard her heels stabbing the wall behind him. Sirius walked forward, running into the edge of a few tables before he dropped her down on the desk near the back of the room.

Surprised, she pulled away, and looked around. "…What the…Oh."

"You weren't planning on going to class were you?" He asked, unzipping his fly and inching his hand up her skirt, tugging her knickers down to her ankles.

"Not really," She chuckled huskily, licking her lips. "Anyone could walk in, though."

Sirius smirked, "Well they would get one hell of a surprise if they did."

Marlene was about to put a spell on the door to give them a warning if someone was coming but before she could move he had entered her and she was jolted back and gripped the back of the desk. He didn't move for a minute, Sirius just watched her, with her back arched back, her chest heaving in her tight white oxford, her tie hanging to the side. The sunlight hit the side of her face, but the rest of her face was in shadow. He scooted them over, so she could see all of her, but when she bent back, she disappeared again. Sirius reached and yanked her forward.

"I want to see your face."

She gasped, "Okay."

Sirius knocked his hips into hers again and again, the desk rattling beneath them madly. She tried to control her breathing, but when her moans became audible it just made him slam into her harder and Marlene was forced to clamp her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. He saw her blonde hair flying around wildly as she shook beneath and held off his own release to see hers. In their time together he'd seen her lose control many times, but his time he wanted to see it fully without just the pride of being the one that caused it. Her fingers dug into the desk and she squirmed for a minute, before her legs relaxed and released his waist from her hold. Once her breathing slowed, she began to rub herself against him encouragingly and that did him in. After she did that there was no stopping him. He moved without vision, without any sense but touch left. Marlene pushed herself up and whispered things to him, things that he couldn't comprehend, but affected him regardless.

When he slowed, she was smiling below him with an amused expression, her blonde hair no longer perfectly straightened, but slightly messy and wavy.

Marlene wasted no time; she eased him out of her, slipped her knickers back up, and adjusted her skirt and tie, her legs still dangling off the edge of the desk. "Can you tell?"

"Your eye make-up is smeared."

Marlene grabbed a mirror out from her skirt pocket and checked her reflection. "Shite, I look like a raccoon."

Sirius fixed his own shirt and said, "You don't look that bad.

Her look bordered affection, before she hopped off the desk. "I almost take that as a compliment, Black."

Sirius chuckled, fixing his belt. "I'm glad to see you don't see the worst in everyone."

"I still see the worst in everyone." Marlene said, unlocking the door, "Are you available tonight? After curfew."

He nodded.

"Meet me back here. If I'm not here by say 11, then assume I can't make it."

Sirius said, "I'll see you then."

"Stay out of trouble, Black." Marlene winked, before exiting the room.

* * *

Potion wasn't on her high list of priorities, if Marlene was honest with herself not very many things were. At this point there was no more backing out, the contracts were signed, and her ring would be ordered in a week and arrive in a month. She liked it act like she participated in her class or gave a shit, but she didn't. How could she? What would any test or class matter? No matter how well she did academically it didn't make a single difference because she wasn't going to be working anywhere, she'd be sitting at Rastaban's house.

She went to library, not caring if anyone saw her. What would they do? Give her detention? Owl her father? She wasn't remotely scared of the consequences anymore. What could they do to her at this point? Marlene didn't have a single mark on her from Sirius, but he was everywhere, on her neck, her back. They'd seen each other nearly every day and if not, every other day. It was this toxic heat, which she grown tired of fighting long ago. Sirius was harmless, he wouldn't tell anyone what they were doing and he wanted the exact same things that she did. It was the perfect arrangement really.

Kicking back in her chair, Marlene looked out at the crisp fall grounds, with a content look on her face. A dread was pulling at her heart but the euphoria she had felt nearly an hour ago was enough to wash it out.

She'd never admit it, but apart of her craved more. Not a big romance, or even a sappy one like Alice had with her boyfriend Frank. It was the little things that she never quite had, like the hand holding or having some around to hold you when you needed them to. Marlene had two boyfriends, the first when she was fourteen and the second when she was turning sixteen. Neither lasted long and they were more proximity and mild chemistry than actual interest. Her perfect boyfriend had always been a simple image; he had to be good looking, tall, protective, funny and smart of course. That guy didn't exist, and she knew that, but still there was still a seven-year-old girl that wished he did.

It was a nice idea, in her last month of freedom, she allowed herself to think that idea out and think of all the wonderful things that could happen while she watched the gameskeeper work on the grounds. Soon though, her stomach began to growl and she knew it was time to leave. Dirk would hassle her about missing class, she could hear his voice in her head already, telling her all the things she missed. The worst part was she didn't even have a good excuse. She could have gone late, but instead she just sat in the empty library, all by herself, something that Dirk would neither understand nor like.

Marlene sighed, and headed to the Great Hall trying to think of a reason she could have skipped that would work with Dirk.

* * *

"So," James began suggestively, falling in step with Sirius as they left class. "What could have possibly made you an entire hour late to class?"

"I told you. I wanted to sleep more."

"That might work on Moony and Wormtail, but I'm not buying it." James persisted, with a knowing gaze. "You come back, your hair looks like mine and if you were going to sleep in that late wouldn't you just miss altogether? Why bother coming at all?"

Sirius said, "What and miss Slughorn's speech on the importance of tadpoles? Not on your life."

"Suit yourself, but I know you are lying. You've been fooling around with some bird and eventually, I will figure it out." James told him, pointing at Sirius with a large grin. "It may not be today or tomorrow, but I'll figure it out."

"What makes you think I'm shagging anyone?"

"Oh, please." James scoffed as they maneuvered through the crowd to the Great Hall. "You can't hide anything from me."

"Fine," Sirius conceded, but eyed James. "But what makes you think it's just one bird?"

James said, "If it wasn't you would have another Teresa Palmer incident or you would have bragged about it by now, and you haven't bragged in a while."

"I'm a proud man, but I don't tell you about every girl."

"I have every reason to believe you do." James countered, "Which leads me to believe there's something different about this girl."

Sirius rolled his eyes, and pushed James through the double doors. "You're just delusional now, mate."

"Maybe, but I know you." He said. "And I know you wouldn't keep it quiet unless you had to, which means you care about her."

Twitching, Sirius scowled. "Okay, you're logic is all over the place. Have you lost your sanity because Evans agreed to date you?"

"No," James pressed his hands to his chin, "But I'm seeing a lot of deflection. What's that about Paddy? Do you have something to hide?"

Sirius laughed, it was forced, but didn't sound like it was. He piled food on his plate, his dark hair swooping into his grey troubled eyes. "Prongsie, when have you ever seen me lie to you about something?"

James considered his, pushing his glasses up on his face as he did and then he said. "True, but there's always a first for everything."

"Whatever, anyway what's going on with Moony?"

"What specifically?" James questioned taking a large bite from his sandwich.

Sirius said, "The whole thing where he is acting like he doesn't fancy Meadowes."

James shrugged, "You know him. Never wants to get close enough to find out anything. Always plays everything too far away."

"As opposed to you," Sirius mocked, nudging James. "You'd give your heart away to a begger if they asked."

"I'm more selective than that." James protested, spraying ham all over Sirius's robes.

Sirius swiped the remains with a snort and said. "Sure you are."

"Just because I love hard and without hesitation doesn't mean I love easily." James pointed out before swallowing hard. "There's a difference."

"If you say so."

James finished his plate and ran a hand through his hair. "I spoke with mum. She doesn't want me to go with her to her appointments. She wants you to."

"She doesn't want you to see her like that." Sirius said quietly, his eyes dropping to the table.

"I can handle it." James said shakily.

Sirius let out a low breath. "Yeah, but she doesn't want you to."

James's face contorted, and his eyes narrowed, torn. He kept opening his mouth, but he could never seem to get out what he wanted to say, so he quickly gave up. "I'm going to go set things up for Quidditch, I'll see you on the pitch."

Sirius nodded.

They didn't have class for the rest of the day, but they also didn't have practice for another two hours. Going this early wasn't necessary. As captain he only had to show up twenty minutes before practice to change and set everything up. But Sirius had said nothing and didn't follow him. This wasn't easy on James, because at the end of the day they both knew where this was going. One day they'd get the letter or one of them would be with her and it would be it.

They didn't talk about it. James and Sirius talked about everything, but this was one of the three things they didn't touch. This, Sirius's childhood and now one other thing, were the only things they didn't discuss. It didn't damage their friendship, they were still close as they could be, but in the moments those things came up they both grew quiet and eventually changed the subject.

Sirius glanced up and saw Peter talking to Remus and Lily about something. He could have contributed, but he wasn't quite in the mood. Mary, who was sitting across the table from him threw a pretzel at him to get his attention.

Laughing, he bit into the pretzel and said. "Yes Mary?"

"Where did James go?"

"He needed a minute."

Her big brown eyes filled with concern. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine. He just needed air." Sirius smiled. "How are you?"

Mary shrugged, her long eyelashes fluttering. "Homework, Class, Quidditch…I guess I'm alright."

"That's good."

"You?...You seem a little more grounded than usual lately."

He frowned, "What do you mean?"

"It's not a bad thing," Mary clarified, scratching her long neck. "You just seemed less amped up and you haven't been looking for a fight."

Sirius said, leaning forward cockily, "Well no one has presented themselves as a worthy challenge, you see."

"I'm just saying you seem not exactly happy, but happier than you usually are." She noted, "I like it. Whatever you changed, keep it up."

He blinked, and didn't respond. Mary smiled at him before she, along with most of the rest of the hall rose for the end of lunch. He stayed just a bit longer. When he did get up, he glanced involuntarily at the Ravenclaw table, but didn't find the face he was looking for. Her friends were still there, but she wasn't.

He turned and kept walking, trying to make himself believe it didn't bother him where she might be or if she was alright. Trying to make himself think that Mary didn't know what she was talking about. Nothing had changed. Nothing was new. Except everything had changed and he just didn't know it.


	10. Do I Wanna Know?

_Have you got colour in your cheeks?_  
_Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift the tide that sticks around like summat in your teeth?_  
_Are there some aces up your sleeve?_  
_Have you no idea that you're in deep?_

**-Arctic Monkeys- **

* * *

Bitter enemies, fit them perfectly, but as Sirius's lips dug into her neck, sucking and teasing her, all rationality left her. Sirius told himself time and time again that this time would be the last and then a few days would go by and here they would be. The trick was they both kept waiting for something to drop on them, for something to happen that would ultimately prove to them that this was a monumentally horrible idea, but so far nothing had happened. Sure there were little things like her impending engagement and his disownment from pureblood society, but nothing enough to drag them out of the fog they were caught in.

She had to stop this. Logically it was Marlene who stood to lose the most and had the most sense. The fact that she had started this to begin with was ludicrous, but nearly as crazy as the fact that she was continuing it so reverently.

"You know what I want," She growled, glowering at him.

"You know," He said feigning innocence, pinning her arms to the wall, but not touching her otherwise. "I don't think I do."

"Do you want me to kick you between your balls and find someone else willing?" Marlene threatened emptily, her voice sharp. "Because I have no problem with that, Black."

Sirius's eyes narrowed, his blood boiling as her challenge hung in the air. "Oh, yeah? _Who?_"

"I don't know… I'm not really concerned."

"Because you don't want to fuck anyone else."

Marlene leaned back hard into the stonewall with an indifferent expression. "You're just easy. A million guys can do, what you do."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Sirius stepped back removing his hands from her inner wrist, but leaving his imprints behind. "Fine, I guess I'll find someone who wants it."

"You are the most dramatic person I've ever met." Marlene laughed, crossing her arms. "But fine. Go find one of your other girls. I will find other means to get myself off."

He leaned against the opposite wall with an inquisitive look. "For example?"

"Well," She began, tilting her head back and slipping her hand down the front of her blouse to the band of her skirt.

Surprise flitted to his face, as his grey eyes darted after her hand in interest.

Tilting her head back, Marlene fought hard to hold back her laugh. She was essentially playing a game of chicken, and though she didn't want to particularly touch herself in public, she was willing to go pretty far in order to win.

"What are you thinking about?" He said gruffly.

Marlene spread her legs ever so slightly, "Oh you know…_Potter_…"

"WHAT?!"

She laughed, unable to pretend any longer. "You should have seen your face!"

"Ha-ha!" He scoffed crossly

"What?...He's decently fit."

Sirius crossed the hallway in three long strides, scooping her up and backing her against the wall. His lips left her no room for air, when she gasped she took him in, his scent, his flesh, him. They both were fully clothed and they hadn't gone far yet. There bodies were angled into each other, clutching and arching themselves against one another. Sirius's fingers were gripping her so hard Marlene moaned into his jaw.

* * *

In a matter of minutes they worked out the logistics, they knew each other well enough to know exactly what to do. It worked like clockwork; the only surprise was that it was just as good as it always was. Both of them had grown to expect this, but they just gave in to whatever was between them. When they finished, they rolled away from each other and pulled themselves together.

"I could be you know," She said fastened her knickers up and pulled up her shorts.

"What?"

"I could be shagging someone else." She grinned.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Sure you are."

"What? I know you are." Marlene shot back. She bent over, flipping her hair and using a rubber band fixed it into a high ponytail.

Sirius playfully made a grab for her ass, missing once before catching it and gripping it. "Oh, you do?"

"Please," She snorted, swatting him away from her. "I may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. You sleep with every skirt from here to Nantucket."

"My reputation precedes me."

"I suppose it does." Marlene said simply, buttoning up the last button on her blouse. "Are we clear?"

Sirius took out the map, "Yeah, we're good. Hatchett and Caddlemore are by the dungeons."

"Well on that note. I'll see you tomorrow, Black."

"Bye, McKinnon."

Heading back to her dorm, Marlene couldn't stop smirking. It was ridiculous that forbidden sex still had the effect on her, but it still did. Drifting back to her dorm, she snuck into her bed and laid there for a few minutes with a blissful expression on her face. She didn't even care enough to change into her pajamas. Sleep took her willingly and warmly, but it didn't treat her well. Her dreams started off simple enough, but then started to turn.

_"McKinnon," Rastaban said, catching her arm when she walked to leave the Slytherin common room._

_Marlene froze in his grip, her body tensed and alert. "Rastaban?"_

_"What are you doing?"_

_She blinked, her throat constricting. "I was just going to head back to my dorm. It's nearly curfew and everybody is just doing homework."_

_"We have to talk."_

_"Okay…What about?"_

_His green eyes shot right through her, "Your behavior."_

_"What…what behavior?"_

_"I know what you did. I know what you are doing. And I will kill you and you will never see them again._

Marlene jumped in her sleep and rolled awake. Her eyes burned from the tears running down her face. She tried to stay calm. It was just a dream. Rastaban never even talked to her unless he had to, he didn't care enough to notice anything and all of her friends were too busy with their own lives to notice she was sneaking off every chance she got to screw Sirius.

Taking a few deep breaths she retreated into the shower, all of her roommates were dead asleep. She tiptoed through the room, careful to avoid the bra and clothes layered clumps on the floor. Slipping into the shower, she sighed and tried to forget the anxiety building in her stomach. Marlene's fists clenched and she shivered against the warm water. The thought of Rastaban touching her even in a dream set her teeth on edge. He never touched her without a reason, but she knew the day would come when he would for the purpose of procreating and the thought made her nauseous.

More tears came and she couldn't shake them off, every thought she had drove her back to the same place. Out of nowhere she considered what Sirius would do if he were there and the tears stopped immediately. A giggle escaped her lips when she thought of the things he would suggest and do to her. He may have not been tender or sweet, but his sleazy comments and unorthodox approaches were enough to calm her nerves.

* * *

Sirius followed James to the Quidditch field with a yawn built onto his face, his freshly shaven face smelling strongly of his apple-scented aftershave. The rest of the team was behind them, each as exhausted and drowsy as the other. The sun had only risen an hour before and yet this was the only time James could secure a time for them to practice consistently so they all trudged along against their bodies wishes.

"What do you want to start with?" Sirius questioned James, rubbing his eyes; his broom locked underneath his other arm.

"Everyone's too tired to remember any plays…Why don't we just do basic flying drills?"

"Good idea…" Sirius sighed exhaustedly, "Merlin, I can't remember the last time I had to wake up this early."

James said, "Don't blame me. Blame, McKinnon. She booked all of the Ravenclaw practices at a proper time."

"I thought one of the other guys was captain." Sirius said, masking his expression to hide the twitch in his jaw when he heard her name.

"Zabini is but it's only a matter of time before he gives it to her. He has no leadership skills what-so-ever and she basically takes care of everything."

Sirius said, "Huh," making a thoughtful face.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just it will be more of a problem if she's made captain."

James nodded solemnly in agreement. "I know Nathan Prewett the Captain for Hufflepuff is a breeze, but McKinnon's Fiancé is the Slytherin Captain and leading scorer so we have more competition than usual."

"We'll just have to train harder."

"Precisely," James smiled clapping him on the shoulder and dropping his bag down on the edge of the field. "Line up everybody! We're going to start off with Flying drills."

"Thank you, Christ." Mary breathed in relief, she turned and whispered to Sirius. "I was terrified he'd say sprints."

Sirius snorted, and kicked his leg over his broom. "I'm sure that will come later."

"What's that?" Mary questioned pointing to the bruise just below his shoulder.

"Nothing," He said pulling his practice jersey over, with a smirk. "I'm clumsy."

Mary shook her head, her chocolate brown eyes filled with amusement. "What? You stumbled into some girls jaw?"

"Something like that."

"You are disgusting."

He kicked off the ground hard, the wind rushing across his body as he soared into the air. Mary was right next to him, matching his movements just a beat after him. For ten minutes they did barrel rolls, swoop and dive maneuvers and all sorts of things before James tossed them a broken bludger.

Mary and Sirius sat on their brooms across from each other hitting the bludger back and forth to work on their aim.

"So, what's new with you?"

Sirius shrugged, "Third week of school. Nothing new to report. You?"

"I think I may have a romantic interest."

"Oh really?" He cackled, "Who is deemed good enough for Ms. McDonald?"

Her cheeks grew pink, and she chewed on the side of her lip. "Promise you won't say anything?"

"I make no such promise. Now who is it?"

She groaned but said, "Dirk Cresswell."

"Who?"

"You know, Ravenclaw, in our year."

He shrugged blankly. "That doesn't narrow it down."

"He's always hanging around McKinnon and Zabini."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows in concentration smacking the bludger to her effortlessly. "The scrawny, pale one?"

"Yeah."

"Are you dating or do you just fancy him?"

"I fancy him." She admitted sheepishly, "But honestly keep it to yourself. The last thing I need is for the entire castle to think I'm half in-love with him already."

Sirius snickered, "I'll do my best to keep my mouth shut."

"I never told Remus it was you who raided his chocolate supply. Don't think I'm above bringing that out."

"You are using four year old blackmail…You must really like him."

"I don't know why. We were just sitting in Muggle Studies-"

"He takes Muggle Studies?"

"Yeah-"

"Wait, why do you take Muggle Studies? You're a Muggleborn." Sirius scoffed in bewilderment.

Mary let out a huff of frustration. "Because I want to be a Ministry liason to Muggles when I leave Hogwarts, but that's besides the point-"

"I still don't get why a Pureblood who's friends with bigots would take it."

She made a face but said nothing.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything!"

"You made a face, which means you are hiding something from me." He gaped in excitement, "_Tell me_….tell me tell me tell me-"

Mary slammed the dead bludger back at him forcefully. "I swear to God, Sirius. There are some things that are private."

"I swear I won't tell anyone!" He crossed his chest before hitting the bludger back over to her. "I swear on my future motorcycle."

"You can't even tell the guys."

"I won't tell them. Now what is it?"

Mary glanced over to make sure none of the other plays were close by before she said. "He's adopted, he's actually Muggleborn."

"…How is that possible?"

"His parents couldn't have children, and there's a list at the Ministry of children who are muggleborn. They just adopted one and paid to hush it all up."

Sirius nearly missed the bludger his eyes wide with shock. "How many people know?"

"I don't think he's told anyone…I mean I feel awful telling but I was so shocked! He's friends with the worst of the worst who think they should slaughter all of my kind and he's actually one of us. How fucked up is that?"

Sirius nodded.

"Although," Mary added, "I don't think he's always known or I doubt he would have become friends with all of them."

"You don't think any of them suspect?"

"I doubt it. Do you see a single one of them would stay his friend?"

Sirius said, "I see your point."

"But how awful right? To live everyday wondering if your friends will wake up one day, find out the truth about you and cast you out."

Thinking of Remus, Sirius responded. "If they're really his friends it wouldn't matter."

"Yeah, but they base their entire superiority on it. They can hardly make an exception on just him."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders, thinking of one person who might.

* * *

Biting into her green apple, Marlene leaned against her propped up knee and sighed.

Olivia eyed her from her desk. "What's on your mind, Mara?"

"Nothing." She said taking a large bite, and dripping juice down her chin.

"You used to be a better liar, Mara."

Marlene scrunched her face up in frustration, leaning back against the arm of the couch. "Have you ever had a nightmare that…_stayed_ with you after?"

Olivia grew pale, her chocolate brown eyes drained and nodded. "Yeah."

"It's not a big deal…it's just on my mind."

Olivia rose from her chair, and swiped Marlene's hair out of her face fondly while giving her a motherly look. "You'll be okay, Mara."

"I know, I know." Marlene sighed, taking another bite out of her apple and glancing up her older sister. "How are you?"

"Okay," She breathed shallowly. "They said there's no update."

Marlene considered saying something by way of a plan or a course of action, but nothing came to mind. Olivia still kept in contact with her in-laws and owled St. Mungos every day. She had told them it was simply too painful for her to see him and looking at her no one would doubt that it was having an effect on her. She'd always been thin, none of the McKinnon girls were particularly curvy, and they all had similar willowy builds. Marlene was the only one athletic enough to attain to gain some sort of muscle mass. But Olivia had lost weight in the past three weeks; enough to make her brown eyes sunken in and her low cheekbones seem shrill and cold. She was only 23, but she looked to be in her early 30's. Rarely did she see her sister eat and when she did, Olivia merely picked at her food.

Misery didn't suit Olivia. Her warmth and quiet excitement for life was compressed and shoved down. She didn't have friends; Olivia was always more of a loner. Often she was more content sitting by herself, reading or writing idle thoughts down in her journal. Marlene had tried to stop in on her every other day, but lately Olivia was just usually sitting alone, with a drawn look on her face. Ava might be able to say something to her, but nothing that would really perk Olivia up, at the end of the day even in a coma Michael was still making her life hell.

This wasn't what Marlene wanted for her sister, but it wasn't like they had a choice in this. It was self-defense, Michael had forced them into this corner and now Olivia was forced to die in it.

An owl pecked at her window, until Olivia opened it and took the letter enclosed in the Owls beak.

"Great…" Olivia flinched reading the parchment.

"What?"

"Staff meeting," She whimpered, "I have to interact," Olivia said, "With others."

Marlene let out a low chuckle, finishing off her apple. "Human interaction won't kill you."

"...I feel like that's a lie."

"Go on, meet some people. Maybe you could actually eat in the Great Hall if you get on a first name basis with someone."

Olivia scoffed. "You forget, I'm already on a first name basis with someone."

"Well just do what you told me. Ignore him and if he persists insult him. It's all we can do."

Inclining her neck, Olivia placed her hands on her hips with a sour expression on her thin face. A mixture of emotions flickered in her eyes, before she nibbled on her bottom lip and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'll be back. Are you staying?"

Marlene shrugged, "For a bit."

"Okay if you leave, make sure you lock up."

"K," Marlene teased her, "have fun."

Olivia glared at her Marlene fixing her collar and dragging herself out the door through the hospital wing to the hall. Marlene never planned on staying, but getting some uninterrupted alone time sounded pleasant. It wasn't her intention to start peeking through sealed medical files, but once she saw the cabinet a curiosity shot through her.

Her sister had a good thought process, she assumed no one would be able to get into her private quarters but staff or herself so no one would be able to get to the records. But she had given Marlene the password and therefore gave her free range to the room, which included the private, personal medical records of everyone in the castle.

And the temptation was more compelling than Marlene's thin sense of honor.

Tossing the apple in the trash, Marlene pushed herself up to her feet and popped open the cabinet. "Merlin, it's like Christmas…" She gasped seeing all the names lined up in alphabetical order.

First she glanced through aimlessly, looking at her friends at the Zabini twins, then Dirk, before stumbling through some more interesting files like her future fiancée. Who had quite a few injuries through Quidditch but otherwise had no comments in his file. She nearly made it all the way from the Z's-A's when she stopped in the B's. It was different when she looked at her friend's files. Marlene knew that if there were anything serious in there she would keep it to herself and also that she would probably be aware of it anyway. Her friends weren't the type to keep things to themselves.

But when she grabbed Sirius's file, easily the thickest out of all the one's she'd looked at, she had no good reason to look at it. He was neither her friend, nor someone she knew a single thing about their medical history. Black could have been half-drowned as a baby and Marlene wouldn't have a single clue.

Picking it up, Marlene glanced through it. When he was younger he didn't have a lot of hospital visits, but quite a few healers were concerned about his safety. They noted more than a handful of times in his yearly check up that his bruises and broken bones couldn't have come naturally because no kid was that clumsy everywhere but the hospital. They'd expressed the need Ministry involvement when he had to get surgery after his parents said he was jumped by neighborhood children, but the abuse seemed to continue through the years. When he arrived at Hogwarts he seemed to live in the hospital wing getting the tail end of hexes and curses alike. Considering everything, it was remarkable that there was no serious injury done to him. It was listed he had nerve damage in his legs, but it was minor.

Of course it was no secret that Sirius, The Black Sheep, as they called him, had been beaten and abused all his life, but it was different seeing it in print. Healers, people paid to be impartial and just fix what is broken were troubled. Why? Because he was just a symptom to an unsolvable problem. And therefore, he was unfixable.

An emotion she had never felt towards Sirius stirred in her and she held onto the file longer than she should have. It wasn't pity or sympathy, but just an understanding. He picked fights because that was all he knew, and he acted as though he didn't care about everything because perhaps his entire life he had cared too much.

Shaking her head, Marlene put the file back and closed the cabinet shut. She shouldn't have looked. Not because it was an invasion of his privacy but because of what that invasion did to her feelings concerning him.

Unsettled, she slipped back into her heels and locked up Olivia's room, before heading back to the Ravenclaw tower.

* * *

Heading to meet Sirius on the grounds, a few knots grew in her stomach, but she ignored the feeling resiliently. This was a night like any other. They would get what they needed and that would be it. But once she got there, she noticed he was…off. He looked at her no differently, but once they got down to snogging he was…hesitant, which wasn't a word that ever should be associated with Sirius. So she pulled away.

"You're being weird." She accused him defensively, her eyes narrowed in distrust. Her hands gripping his collar, "Why?!"

Sirius raised his hands innocently. "I'm not, you lunatic!"

"Bull. You've been looking at me funny this whole time…Why?"

"I'm not-"

Marlene scowled, her eyes scrutinizing him. "Out with it, Black."

"You're the one who put her brother in-law in a coma."

Her grip slackened and her jaw ajar. "…._What_ are you talking about?"

"What happened to your brother-in law, McKinnon?"

"…_Who the hell told you about that?_" She growled, her eyes flashing.

Sirius stared hard back at her.

"It's none of your damn business…We started this with rules-"

"I _never_ made any rules." He said bluntly.

"Well I sure as hell did." She snapped viciously, "I don't ask you about Potter or whatever the hell else your life consists of…If you want to continue doing this with me, your tongue better stick with what it does best and leave out all the rest."

Sirius scoffed, "My_ tongue_, can do _what-ever_ it pleases-"

"Well," Marlene began hotly, "If it plans on _pleasing_ me, it better know its place. I don't ask you about why your medical file is thicker than half of our text books-"

His hands went to her wrists trapping them against the tree. "How the fucking hell would you know that?" His eyes were hardened as he said, "Those files are sealed."

"Well it seems we both have found ways around things like that," She said her voice low, "_Doesn't it?_"

They both looked over and tried to see where the noise was coming from, when they saw two people approaching.

"Someone's coming?" Marlene panicked.

"Shit." He scowled, searching around, before pulling himself up on the nearest tree branch. "Climb, McKinnon!" He bellowed, offering her a hand up.

Marlene let out a huff of frustration, before taking his hand and following him far enough up the tree where they wouldn't be easily seen by passersby. Her hand was clenched around his arm, while the other death gripped the branch she was seated on. Sirius silently laughed at her, she sat perfectly still, her eyes clenched shut, her arms seizing the every thing around her to keep her stable.

"Afraid of heights?"

"Yes," She growled back in a hush, "Happy?! I'm human."

Sirius said, "Are you implying I'm not?"

"Please," She shot at him darkly, "You're not afraid of anything."

"Drowning," He said suddenly.

"What?"

"I can't swim."

Marlene's eyes opened, "You have to be kidding."

"I'm not, but quiet… Here they come."

* * *

Sirius leaned back against the trunk of the tree and watched his friends stroll through the grounds. He held his breath and craned his neck to watch, Marlene rigid and still next to him.

"I swear," Lily began, "I could have sworn Sirius out here with a girl."

"I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying he's not here now." James replied wryly. "Did you see what the girl looked like?"

Marlene froze, she was directly thirty feet above them all they would have had to do was look up, but neither did.

"I think she was blonde, but that's not really descriptive, is it?"

James shook his head. "No that could be anyone…although maybe it's the mystery girl."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked giving James a curious look

"Well," James shoved his hands into his pockets. "He's been disappearing a lot, which isn't odd for him, but usually we find out what girl he's with and over the past few months he hasn't said a peep."

"Maybe he's learned modesty?"

James outright laughed at that, and the pair of them started to walk away. "Not a chance. It's either she's off limits or something worse."

"Off limits like...?"

"Like him and McGonagall…" James trailed off his voice.

Sirius couldn't contain his laugh at that suggestion, though the HeadBoy and HeadGirl were too far away to hear it. Marlene relaxed, her face glistening with nervous sweat. Her dark blue eyes pulsed, but her grip on Sirius's sleeve and the tree branch didn't lessen. He looked over and saw James and Lily return inside the castle.

"The coast is clear."

"Ah huh." She muttered.

Sirius laughed gently glancing at her tense posture. "We have to get down now."

"Okay."

"Which means you have to move."

Marlene groaned.

"Think of it this way, look at the tree when you go down."

"I like climbing trees. I used to do it when I was little."

"Then what's the problem?" He asked.

Marlene gulped. "I'm afraid of landing wrong. I hate heights. At least on a broom I can control it. What's going to stop me from breaking my leg when I have to jump to the bottom?"

"I'll go down first, follow me."

"What about-"

"Just do it, McKinnon." Sirius said shortly, before shifting over and moving down the branches.

Marlene would have smacked him if she weren't terrified she'd lose her balance and fall. She didn't want to do as he asked. What was the point in moving down the tree if she was terrified of getting off of it? But she did what he told her to do, with only a small amount of resentment. Once she reached the last branch, she was fifteen feet off the ground and glued to the trunk of the tree.

"Now what?"

"Let go."

"Are you mad?! Why would I do that?"

Sirius grumbled, "Marlene!"

"Fine!" She closed her eyes and despite every voice and her telling her to do the opposite, she let go of the tree and fell backwards.

Marlene let out a short scream, right before Sirius's caught her. Her blue eyes snapped open in shock, when she saw his grey eyes peering down at her.

"I told you." He said simply, studying her carefully.

Marlene could do nothing but look at him in shock not just because he actually caught her, but because she had put her trust in him and he had proved deserving of it.

"We…we should get back to the castle. It's…it's getting late." She muttered, still clutching the front of his shirt.

Sirius nodded, a stunned expression locked on his face. "Yeah, we should."

Unable to think of anything practical to say, she asked, "Do you really not know how to swim?"

"Yeah."

"Well, maybe I'll teach you."

He didn't grin or smirk, but the tiniest smile crossed his face, his face tipped towards hers. "You don't mind?"

"It's only a minor inconvenience…" She said in a low voice.

* * *

Marlene never had to remind herself that Sirius wasn't right for her before. She never had to stop herself from picturing him as more than a good shag. But now she did. In that moment she had to force herself to recall all of the horrible things that could happen if she continued to feel the way she was feeling right then.

Sirius on the other hand was having a hard time processing what he was feeling. All he knew it wasn't something he had ever felt before and no idea what to do with it. Why was there this light, tight clenching in his chest? Why hadn't he put her down yet? He didn't know, he didn't have the slightest clue. His own intentions escaped him, and it began to terrify him.

Leaning up, Marlene slowly rose to kiss him.

They'd kissed countless times. So it should have meant nothing. It should have sped up and grew into their usual shag fest, but it didn't. Her lips brushed against his tentatively and the instant the warmth of her lips spread to his, his eyes shuddered to close. They moved slowly, their tongues intertwining as he cradled her closely to him. Her hands went to cup his face, not possessively or aggressively, but gingerly and ardently.

Sirius slowly shifted her down to her feet but didn't break the kiss, his hands went to cradle her face, a gesture that was completely foreign to him, but seemed to come out of nowhere.

Her heart was stammering in her chest, her entire body going soft and tingling. Marlene melted into him, and completely forgot about everything in that moment. They were both lost in one another, neither with the intention to stop or any inclination how to do so.

This time it wasn't Marlene who pulled away, but Sirius, his breathing unsure and his gaze on her blazing. "We should go."

Her lips swollen and pink, she nodded her hands dropping from his face to his shoulders. "You're right."

"I'll walk you."

She blinked in confusion. "Oh…_Okay._"

The first words out of her mouth should have been an explanation of why that was a horrible idea and how they could be seen and how that would lead to everything going to hell.

But she said none of those things. Instead, both of them walked back to the castle, their hands tucked into their pockets silently, occasionally catching each other's eye and immediately glancing away.


	11. Falling Slowly

_Take this sinking boat and point it home_  
_We've still got time_  
_Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice_  
_You'll make it now_

**-Glen Hansard-**

* * *

Dirk sat down next to Marlene with an accusatory look plastered all over his face.

Marlene looked up from the new edition of _Witch Weekly_. "Yes?"

"Where were you last night?"

"In my bed…asleep."

"Word is someone snuck out and went skinny dipping in the Black Lake."

Marlene flipped a few pages to move past the advertisements with a neutral look on her face. "And that has to do with me…how?"

Dirk leaned closer to her, his eyes squinted suspiciously. "You came in late last night."

"And you know that because?"

"Jane Audrey's said she looked over when she got up in the middle of the night and your bed was empty."

"What, are you running around interrogating my roommates now?"

Dirk said, "Maybe. Maybe I have a feeling my best friend is keeping something from me and I want to know what it is."

"And you are completely forthright?" She deflected, "What about you necking McDonald?...Are we ever going to talk about that?"

He blushed, but stayed on subject. "I'm dating her. I should think a bit of a snog comes along with that-"

"Since when is it official?"

"Since last week. I asked her." He smiled, but then reverted back into investigative mode, even scooting his chair to her for the effect. "But what's going to on?"

Marlene let out a strangled sigh, "Why do you think something's going on?"

"You bitched, all summer about marrying Lestrange. You were constantly depressed and telling me what to do with your body once he murdered you…and then out of nowhere you started perk up and lately you've been downright…"

"What?"

"Happy."

Marlene didn't have time to hide the flicker of surprise forced her eyes to widen and her jaw to drop slightly.

"Like _that_." He said, "If I was happy, I'd know it. I'd brag to you about it, but you didn't even know that was something you were feeling until I JUST told you."

She scoffed, shifting in her seat and pulling her magazine up, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just as unhappy about my upcoming nuptials as when I discovered it in April."

"…I believe that you don't want to marry him, it just seems like you are focusing on something else."

"We had Quidditch practice yesterday?" She offered.

"No, not Quidditch. I think you're sneaking out with someone. You love swimming, you weren't in your bed, you've been perky-"

Marlene said in outrage, "How have I been perky?! I've done nothing new! I do my homework last minute. I don't participate in class and I'd kick a first year if Evans wasn't always around the corner!"

"When you think no one is looking, you just look into the distance and smile." He pointed at her, "No ordinary smile either, a smile attached to a memory or a person."

"I-"

"And you keep looking surprised, like you can't believe that's the way you feel!"

Marlene opened her mouth but couldn't find a response. But she honestly couldn't think of an accurate response. He had cornered her, and her brain was paralyzed.

"Well?" He asked expectantly.

She couldn't tell him.

He was her best friend and she would help bury a dead body if he needed it, but this, this was something she couldn't tell anyone. Sirius was toxic, he'd got into her system and poisoned her, but she couldn't let that taint Dirk.

Slughorn cleared his throat and briskly ordered them to copy what was on the board, and asked for silence. Marlene could not have been more thankful for the man she had sworn was the devil a week earlier, when he assigned them three hours worth of homework. Dirk let out a huff of irritation and Marlene knew it wasn't over, he'd pretty much figured it out already the only thing he didn't have the slightest clue about was who it was. And that was something she would take to her grave.

Coping down the notes quicker than Dirk, Marlene's indigo eyes lost focus as Slughorn's voice began to drown on through the room.

* * *

_"This was a horrible idea." Sirius said stepping into the black lake._

_Marlene rolled her eyes, already waist deep in the water, her hands on her hips as she stood in her dark blue bikini. "Black, would you grow a pair and move faster?"_

_"The water is cold," He snapped, his black boxers contrasting with his skin._

_"It's October, what were you expecting?" She shot back._

_Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. Goosebumps ran all over his skin and he was slightly trembling from the chill. "Don't bait me, McKinnon."_

_"Then don't be such a wimp, Black."_

_He swallowed walked to where she was, shivering to a stop. "Now what?"_

_"Get down on your knees."_

_His eyebrows shot up._

_"Not for that." She laughed belatedly, shaking her head. "Just do it."_

_Sirius sighed dramatically, looking up for a minute before doing what she said. The water was to the tip of his chin and he was about to complain until he saw her move. She bent down, and put her hands to his waist._

_"I'm going to lift you up-"_

_"How the hell are you going to do that?"_

_Marlene scoffed. "It's easier in water..."_

_"Fine." He scowled, "Continue."_

_"When I do, lay straight at the waters surface."_

_Sirius nodded._

_Marlene gripped his waist and raised him in the water, he in turn lifted his legs up. "Now, kick your legs like you are digging under the water."_

_Sirius kicked too hard, and splashed her right in the face. Forcing him to laugh and her to swipe the water beads off her face. "Softer, Black. It's just to see the form of it."_

_"Better?"_

_"Yes. Now, raise your arms one at a time, arch up, dig into the water and pull yourself forward… like you are crawling."_

_Sirius breathed, "This is the strangest thing-"_

_"I'm not a proper teacher, but I do know how to swim and if you shut it and listen to me, you will learn how to as well…Now come on, Black. Show me you've been listening."_

_It was two in the morning and everyone else in the world was asleep but them._

_If Sirius thought she wouldn't own up to her offer, his surprise hadn't shown when they met up twenty minutes earlier and she had her swim suit underneath her school uniform. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He did want to learn, and he didn't mind her teaching him, it was just odd. _

_Marlene kept her face neutral, but once she saw Sirius was getting the hang of it, she began to smile. "See? You've got it, Black."_

_Sirius grinned proudly, "What's next?"_

_"You want to go farther out?"_

_"…Not too far."_

_"Why don't you swim out to me?" Marlene suggested. "If you can't make it, just stand up."_

_Sirius let out a low breath and stood up to his full height, but then in one motion he dove into the water and tackled her. _

_Marlene screamed involuntarily as she was knocked into the water. Her body fell and she rushed to the surface, with a shocked expression. "What was that?!"_

_He snickered evily, swimming around her with ease. "Nothing."_

_"I thought you said you were afraid of swimming!"_

_"I lied." He said impishly. His grey eyes bemused._

_She let out a shriek of fury, pushing him and splashing him. "YOU-LITTLE-SHIT! Why do you make me waste my time?!"_

_"I had to say something to make you calm down." He shrugged, unfazed by the water dripping down his face. "What was I supposed to say?"_

_Marlene swan towards him at a vicious speed, and nearly caught him by he dodged her at the last second and spent the better part of five minutes trying to escape her. Finally he gave in and let her attack him. She swatted his arms, but he pinned her arms down and pulled her into his arms._

_"You are a right prick, Black."_

_"You act as if you're surprised." He smirked, enjoying the color of anger in her cheeks._

_She growled, "Let me go, or I'm gonna-"_

_"What? Wake up the whole castle?" He laughed, "I'm sure you've already done that."_

_"IT'S YOUR FAULT!" She spat._

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "Maybe I wanted to go for a swim and knew this was the only way I could get you to go."_

_"You didn't know I was going to bring a swim suit…"_

_"Fine." He relented, "You have me there."_

_"So what are you afraid of?" She said sharply, her eyes narrowed. "You have to tell me now."_

_Sirius shrugged and said, "Nothing…When I was a kid I was terrified of the house elf and the dark, but I've gotten over both of those."_

_"How?"_

_"I killed the house elf in the dark."_

_She snorted, a laugh on her lips. "You are ridiculous…How does anyone ever take you seriously?"_

_"They don't. That's the beauty of being me."_

_"Bloody moron."_

_"Okay, truce…I'm not afraid of anything." He said, his face earnest._

_Marlene gave him a look. "Everyone's afraid of something…Even if it's just one thing, everyone's afraid of something."_

_"Well I'm not. I'm perfect you see."_

_"Merlin, you get more and more delusional by the date."_

_Sirius said, "Okay that's it." He took her and threw her into the water._

_Within seconds, Marlene popped back up and chased after him, dunking him several times before he had her locked in high above him._

_"Are you about done?" He asked, a grin tugging at his lips._

_"Are you?" She countered, her hair a mess._

_Sirius slowly brought her down so they were eye level. "I could be persuaded to stop."_

_"If I kiss you, and you dunk me, I'm going to kill you."_

_"Ah huh."_

_"I've been to Azkaban. I've picked out the perfect cell, it's right between the craziest inmates, so I'll never be bored and my happy thought will be that, 'at least I'm not as crazy as them.'"_

_"Marlene," He said, his hands seizing her, "Shut up."_

_Marlene's mouth opened to insult him, but his tongue interrupted her speech and she melted into him. Her arms slung around his shoulders and her legs went around his waist. Sirius gradually walked backwards towards the shore, but his eyes were closed and he was far more focused on the bikini-clad blonde he was snogging then where he was going. So when his foot caught on a tree root he fell backward, Marlene dropping with him as they were too tangled to separate._

_Close to shore, they only went under the water for a few seconds before they both surfaced, laughing so hard it hurt to breath in the brisk October air. Marlene didn't move off of him, and he didn't move her. They remained holding each other, trickles of water falling down their hair to their cheeks back into the water._

_"You're beautiful when you're a mess." He said, "Do you know that?"_

_Marlene smiled, "I think that was a compliment."_

_"It is."_

_She laughed again, the sound making his smile grow, until it took over his whole face._

_"Shit," She swore looking over and seeing the Great Hall doors open. "Someone's coming!"_

_He grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers without need or necessity and dragged her behind the tree. They changed at warped speed and turned themselves invisible once they finished._

_"Where did they go?" A young Hufflepuff Prefect asked Remus._

_He paused, his amber eyes scanning the distance. "I don't know, but they have to be around here somewhere."_

_"Did you see who it was?"_

_"No…but they were older, they are either in my year or sixth years."_

_"How could you tell?"_

_Remus didn't answer, and Sirius didn't wait for him to. He ran, and Marlene sprinted next to him. They couldn't see each other, but the feeling of their joined hands gave the reassurance needed to rush on._

* * *

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, careful not to mess up her eye make up. Carefully, she looked over to see if Dirk had noticed her zone out, he didn't. He was busy having a silent conversation across the room with Mary. Marlene beamed at the sight. She didn't particularly like the idea of her best friend openly dating a Gryffindor and a muggleborn at that, but they were really cute together and he just…he lit up. And she was having a hard time repressing that. Her eyes flickered a row over and she looked at Sirius.

A warmth rose to her cheeks when she saw he was already looking at her, and not with just a seductive glance but a pensive one. If she was sure no one was watching she would have made a face at him, but she trained her eyes on the board and ignored the tug in the back of her gut.

After class Dirk walked out with Mary and Tanya Zabini caught Marlene's arm. Marlene glanced up, but noticing the hostile look on her friends face, she waited for Tanya to speak first.

"You're going to let this happen?" She hissed gesturing to Dirk and Mary. Marlene took a second longer than she should have to regain her cold composure and Tanya noticed. "I don't know what's going on with you, but you better reign him in….We've all had a little fun with the peasants from time to time, but this is taking it too far and you know that."

Marlene's lips thinned. "You know it isn't serious, why not let him have his fun?"

"Because no sensible pureblood girl will come within twenty yards of him if he continues this…"

They stopped in the middle of the hallway, Tanya's black eyes stared right into Marlene. Her dark features sharp and her nostrils flaring in anger. The longer they paused and Tanya regarded Marlene's expression the more she calmed until her face softened entirely.

"I know he's good for a laugh and likes to tease the concept of controversy, but this is serious. We aren't fifth years anymore. He could get _disowned _for something like this."

Dropping the dreaded 'D' word had the desired affect. Marlene snapped right out of her fog. Standing up straighter and clearing her throat she said. "Of course, I understand. I will talk to him the earliest chance I get."

"Good," Tanya smiled, "I wouldn't want this become far more serious than it needs to be. After all if he were disowned we wouldn't be able to even associate with him anymore."

Marlene nodded curtly before joking. "Then we'd have to spend time with Erik Nott and my fiancée, and Merlin knows that would be a comedy fest."

Tanya snorted and she lightly hit Marlene's forearm. "You shouldn't talk about Rabastan like that!"

"Oh please. He doesn't even care I exist. I doubt he would care that I was teasing about his deadpan humor…or lack there of."

"You are awful…I must go. Do remember what I said."

Marlene nodded again, "I will."

* * *

Sirius stood in the library for the first time in three years without a girl backed up against one of the shelves. His arms were crossed and he leaned against the back wall, James and Lily were saving their table with a months worth of notes spread out on the table. Lazily, he glanced over to make sure they weren't at each other's throats and found they were actually smiling at something. He didn't know what to make heads or tails of it. Sometimes he thought he'd have to identify James's body at the morgue and other times he couldn't tell the difference between them and a million other couples he came across.

He didn't understand them. Why not just date each other? They were already pretty much doing it already, but James had said he wasn't going to force the issue. Sirius saw his point but didn't see what the big deal was anyway. It wasn't like James snogged other girls or even really looked any other girls the way he looked at Lily. Then again he was a goner from the moment he met her so maybe it was just a matter of time.

He turned his to Mary, who was looking through the books thoughtfully, a lovely stack of them by her feet.

"Mary, what the hell are you doing?"

"I can't think what to do my Defense project on...So I was going to look through a few books…" Her big brown eyes turned onto him. "What are you doing yours on yet?"

"I haven't decided, probably Dementors or Werewolves." Sirius smirked at the last bit.

Mary nodded her thick eyebrows furrowed, "Everyone does Dementor's or Vampire's…I want to do something no one else is doing."

"That will be hard considering it's a full class and you have no idea what anyone else is doing their report on."

"I think of something…or I'll just do Boggarts and give up."

Sirius said, "Lily's doing Boggarts."

"Damnit…what's Remus, Peter and James doing?"

"Vampires, Mermaids, Animagus's."

Mary swore and let out a groan of frustration, "I wish I'd thought of Animagus."

"You could do it too." Sirius said half-heartedly.

"No, he will do better then me. I don't want to do a paper _knowing _someone else could do it better."

Sirius laughed at her. "You're ridiculous…Hey isn't that your boyfriend? The peaky one with McKinnon?"

"Yeah," Mary blushed seeing them walk behind the bookshelf in front of them.

"-no, Mar." Dirk's voice was hushed though it carried over to Sirius and Mary, who were listening curiously.

"You know what this will do to you." She said, her voice hardened but layered with concern. "They will look into your past if you make them suspicious…They won't _just_ ostracize you if they find out that you lied, that your family lied-"

"I don't care." He replied flatly. "I fancy her, she's nice, cute and you know what? She doesn't act like I'm just a guy she's settling to date, when you know she could do better."

Marlene said, "I don't hate McDonald. I don't hate you two …together. I hate that by doing this you are going to get your arse kicked and thrown out of the only society you've ever known…for a girl."

"You wouldn't understand. You'd never do the same thing."

"You're right." Marlene said. "I wouldn't."

Sirius took a risk and peeked through the books to get a good look at her despite Mary's violently nonverbal pleas for him not to. He saw the somber, worried expression on Marlene's face and watched as Dirk shook his head at her.

"I'm not going to break up with her just because my friends are against it…The worst part was two hours ago you smiled when I talked about her, but after one talk with Tanya and suddenly you come at me with the Pureblood Agenda."

Marlene's face was worn at that. "I don't want you getting hurt over some crush."

"Well it's not your decision. I'm a big boy. I can make my own decisions and I choose her."

Sirius glanced over at Mary with amusement when he saw how Dirk's words affected her.

"Just can you at least try to keep your relationship more low-key?" Marlene pleaded, "_Please?_"

Dirk laughed at the sincerity of her expression and pulled her into a hug. "It will be fine, Mar…You worry far too much." He lowered his voice and said, "Now who is this boy you are off snogging?"

Marlene laughed, and elbowed him off of her playfully. "I never said I was snogging anyone. So why do you assume it is a man?"

"GAME CHANGER!" He announced loudly earning a rather reproachful look from the librarian.

"You are an idiot."

"Yes, but you chose to be friends with me, remember that."

Marlene said, "Fine. But I'm not going to defend you when they come with pitchforks."

"Nor would I expect to." Dirk turned to face the books and Sirius and Mary ducked reactively. "Shite, we're not even in the right section."

"What are we even doing here?"

"You followed me here first of all." He said pushing her mockingly. "But I'm here to look for a book for the Defense project….How far are you on yours?"

"Haven't touched it."

Dirk snickered, "Of course you haven't. What are you doing yours on?"

"Probably Werewolves or something easy like that." She said following him to the next aisle just as Mary and Sirius jumped over to the next aisle.

"We learned about Werewolves in third year… you really are going for the bare minimum."

"I have better things to do with my time then look up magical creatures," She said fixing the clasp on her four inch heeled shoe. "Like anything really."

Dirk snorted. "You really hate school."

"I just don't see the point. I'm not going to be able to use it after."

"You can't even get like a part time job or something?...What the hell are you going to do in that house by yourself all the time?"

"Fantasize about you of course." Marlene drawled sarcastically eyeing a book before picking it up. "What the hell is this?

Dirk glanced over, and laughed. "The hell should I know?"

* * *

Sirius and Mary edged back over to Lily and James, sneaking past without Dirk or Marlene noticing. Mary whispered to Sirius. "Do you think I should break up with him?"

"You nearly fainted into my arms when he spoke, Mary."

"Yes but." She slumped into the seat next to Lily with guilty expression. "You heard McKinnon."

Sirius shook his head. "You heard him, it's his decision."

"I don't want him to get hurt because of me."

"What are we talking about?" James asked curiously.

Sirius sighed, kicking his chair back so it only stood on the back legs. "Mary's tragic love life."

"My love life is not tragic." Mary said lightly kicking Sirius's foot for good measure. "It's just …complicated."

Lily smiled at Mary. "Well I for one think you two are rather cute…even if his friends are assholes."

"I mean McKinnon isn't that bad." Mary said before looking at Sirius, "She did say she didn't mind it…until someone said something. She just sounded worried about him."

Lily scoffed. "I think you misread that. McKinnon is a snob who doesn't care about anything but her precious reputation."

James cleared his throat and said. "I have to disagree. She can be a bitch, and she's hard as nails, but last year in Quidditch when one of her players were knocked off their brooms she gave up on the snitch and caught him."

"Wouldn't anyone do that though?" Lily asked.

"She was an inch away from the snitch," Mary acknowledged, "I remember that game. Two of her teammates were closer, but she was quicker and she saved that kid."

James paused and then laughed to himself, "I remember he looked spooked the whole rest of the season and never flew to far off the ground…They lost last year because of it. You can't have a beater that is terrified of everything."

"What do you think Sirius?" Lily asked, eyeing him curiously. "You usually aren't this quiet."

"Huh?" He said deliberately blinking before looking at her. "What's up, Evans?"

"What do you think of Marlene?"

He shrugged, leaning back carelessly. "Heartless, bitch."

"…Were you listening?"

"Nope," He lied, smacking his lips. "I was busy."

James said. "Thinking about what?"

"Stuff."

James threw a quill at him. "Prat."


	12. Crossfire

_And we're caught within the crossfire_  
_Of heaven and hell_  
_And we're searchin' for shelter_  
**-Brandon Flowers-**

* * *

Death affects people in different ways. For some it cripples them, it cuts them at the knees and others it brings out every ounce of rage they posses.

He sat in the waiting room, his face red, his body involuntarily shaking. James would come out soon. They gave them just enough time to let her say goodbye, but that was it. No more time left to do anything more than that and maybe it was better that way, but Sirius was too upset to think that logically.

Raw and sore was what he was. He knew this wouldn't be easy, but he couldn't have imagined it would hurt this much. There were very few people he let in all the way and Mrs. Potter, like her husband before her, never gave him a choice. They just loved him so fully and unconditionally he grew attached to them without any idea of what it would do to him when they inevitably left.

Sirius buried his face in his hands and waited for James. When James walked up he'd pull it together. He wouldn't cry or say anything. All there would be is support and unity. They were still James and Sirius; it was still them against the world even if the world had gotten a little smaller.

Still, while he sat there, his ass numb from being in the same chair for what felt like hours, he felt like whatever childhood he had was just stolen from him. Ripped and ruined by the image of Mrs. Potter's frail form ceasing to exist.

When James came out, Sirius didn't say a word to him because he knew nothing would be enough. The sight of his best friend, normally so full of life, with a smile always spread across his thin face, looking so gutted nearly brought Sirius the tears that were willing inside of Sirius to the surface, but he aggressively ignored them. Instead, he clapped his hand on James's shoulder and led him to the fireplace. If he could do nothing else, he would make sure James made it through the day.

When they arrived back at school, James croaked. "Let's go to lunch…Don't tell anyone."

Sirius nodded dutifully. "Whatever you want."

Then he followed James through the castle to the Great Hall without a single question or concern. Their friends weren't stupid. One look at them and Remus, Peter, Mary and Lily would know the truth, but Sirius didn't have it in him to explain that to James. He was so determined to brush it off and act like it never happened, but things like this aren't things you can just solider through.

When their father died, James took to his room and only came out when his mother asked him to. It seemed that now that it was his mother that was gone, he was doing the opposite. James was forcing himself to be around other people so he wouldn't think about her and Sirius didn't think even for a second it would work. His Adam's apple kept bobbing and his hazel eyes were lifeless.

Sirius wished he could do something, anything. If he could take all the pain away from James he would do it, even if it meant that he'd have to feel it all. It was agonizing; just to look at James took ten years from him.

The silence between them grew heavier and heavier until they reached the Great Hall. The sound of all the students talking, laughing, shouting and scraping their forks and knives against their plates hit the pair of them hard. So much so that they paused before fully walking through the doors and neither of them noticed a crowd of Slytherin's attempting to walk past them.

"Too stupid to know how to walk through a door anymore, Potter?" Snape sneered, his dry lips curling.

"Bugger off, Snape." James said with a sigh.

Snape scoffed, "What isn't this what you prefer? Crowds of people to see your so-called glory?"

"_He said_," Sirius began through clenched teeth, "_Bugger off._ So why don't you, and your band of thugs, go wank of to a picture of your mum, or whatever it is you do in your spare time."

Furious, Snape stepped forward, his face red and he spat, "Well the way I hear it, neither one of you would know what it's like to have parents. How's the mum, Potter?"

Sirius saw red. He didn't care if all the teachers were in plain view. He didn't care if it wasn't proper or if he should be the bigger person. He didn't even use his wand, he clenched his fist and knocked Snape clear off his feet and with a sickening crack he hit the floor, where Sirius continued to hit him. He crushed his hand into every part of the slimy git he could reach. Sirius didn't hear or care what he was doing; Remus, Peter and Frank Longbottom together had to pull him off of Snape. He snarled and tried to kick Snape's broken and decrepit tone, but by then a slew of teachers had come and separated them.

He looked for James in the chaos as McGonagall escorted him straight to her office, but he didn't see him anywhere. Before she took him from the Great Hall he told Remus, "Find James."

Remus looked confused, but nodded when he saw the maddened look in his friends face.

* * *

"Black is a scoundrel." Kara muttered twisting her blonde hair up into a bun while walking with Marlene.

Marlene hid her smirk while she stuck her hands in the front pockets of her Quidditch trousers. "Oh? What did he do this time?"

"He laid Severus out on in the middle of the Great Hall a few hours ago."

"Wait…What?!" Marlene stopped walking, catching Kara's wrist. "What the hell did I miss?"

Kara said, "You didn't…oh yes, you left for Quidditch with the rest of your team…but Snape said something to Potter, and Black flattened him to the floor. Potter didn't even move, he just walked out."

"What was the fight about?"

The small blonde said. "I don't know, darling…Sad you missed that though. Black looked like he was out for blood."

"I always miss the action." Marlene said, keeping her voice light, though her chest tightened. "Oh well, I'm sure Black will hit someone else soon enough."

"He does have quite a temper." Kara noted, "If he weren't a traitor he might seen dashing."

Marlene's voice turned purposefully harsh. "He's a moron."

"I'm aware of that, but he isn't afraid of a fight, which most women would admire."

"Well," Marlene lied naturally, "I'm not one of them."

Kara's cool eyes turned onto Marlene. "You want a man who doesn't stand up for you?"

"In the time I've been engaged, I'm absolutely positive if someone has said something negative about me to Rabastan, and I doubt if he did say or do anything it was out of pride and not out of genuine concern."

"How could it be? You two barely look at each other."

"True, all I'm saying is what my type is or what I want doesn't matter anymore."

Kara nodded sensibly. "That's true…you're right we shouldn't even entertain the idea of theoretical purposes…Oh look, there he is now."

She looked up at just as her fiancée began to walk towards her; she swallowed hard and tried to not look as uneasy as she was filling, but if anyone just touched her shoulder they would feel a slight tremble in her bones.

"Marlene, I need to speak with you."

Kara nodded, "I'll see you later, nice to see you Rabastan."

He nodded back politely before standing far too close to Marlene for her liking.

"What's up?" She asked.

His pale green eyes settled on her face. "Slughorn is having a get together on Saturday."

"…And?"

"You will come with me."

Marlene scowled.

"We need to start making appearances together, as a," He winced, "couple."

"United front type of deal?"

"Yes."

Marlene crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"I'll pick you up from your dormitory at 7 o'clock."

"That's not necessary. We will be spending far too much time together in the next few months. Why don't we limit it as much as possible?"

His lips thinned, and his voice lowered. "I will pick you up at 7 o'clock and you will talk only when I tell you to."

"What? …_Like a dog_?"

"Yes, like," He took a step forward so there was barely anything between them but hatred and an undertone of disgust. "An _insolent animal,_ that should obey that hand that feeds it."

Marlene wanted to sock him right in the face. She'd never hit anyone before, but right then, right as she looked into the coldest, deadest eyes she'd ever seen, she was willing to try it.

"I believe we've had this conversation, more than once now." He said fiercely, his voice barely carrying. "Don't test me, Marlene."

"Fine."

"Wear green." He said simply before walking past her.

* * *

She let out a heavy breath she didn't know she had locked in and bolted. There was no method to it; she knew it was raining out. Just after her practice had ended it began to start coming down, but as soon as she pushed through the castle doors she realized that no sane person would be out there so she could freak out if she needed to.

Marlene ran and stopped to lean against the castle wall for a few moments. Tears didn't come; it wasn't that kind of fear. It was deeper than that, something that would haunt her and infect every dream she had.

"This is my wall, McKinnon."

Marlene jumped and nearly crawled out of her skin when she saw that less than a foot away, crumpled on the floor was none other than Sirius Black. "What the hell, Sirius?!"

"As I said," He muttered, his voice strangely forced. "This is my wall."

She dropped down and looked wildly over him. "What the hell…I heard you got into a fight, but you look like a train ran you over."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders, all of his weight against the wall.

"Are you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to track Potter down?"

"…No." He groaned.

Marlene frowned. "Then tell me what happened."

"My mum died."

Marlene froze.

"When I said I wasn't afraid of anything I wasn't lying," He confessed. "I…I knew she would die…All of the good one's do."

Marlene kneeled down in front of him.

"When I was young, I was scared of-of my dad." He admitted, his voice shaking, unable to stop the slur of speech that was bleeding out of him. "He did this thing where he would count to four and if I didn't quietly go to his study he would make it worse…But after I reached like thirteen I was so used to it, I didn't even care anymore. I'd make it into like a game to see how mad I could make him, how far I could push him, you know?"

She nodded, pushing her now wet hair out of her face.

"Ever since then I've never been really afraid of anything. Even death, maybe for a few minutes but not for a long time…_E-ven this."_

"It doesn't mean you loved her any less." Marlene breathed.

"I know," he muttered, wincing. "I know."

Marlene twitched for a second before her hand raised and then, without adding any pressure at all, she placed her hand on his.

Sirius's eyes lifted to her face.

"You're going to be okay." She said, not knowing what else to say.

He tried to nod, but he couldn't. The gesture just died and he couldn't hold his head up anymore. Sirius wanted to be strong, but his jaw began to shudder. He wanted to tell her he was fine, that she could leave, that he didn't need her and maybe through in a sleazy comment for good measure. But he didn't have it in him. Everything in him was broken, and he thanked god that at least Lily was with James so he didn't have to worry about him too.

Marlene didn't know what she was doing. She should have gotten one of his friends and washed her hands of the entire situation.

But she didn't.

If he were one of her sisters or Dirk she would know what to do. But she had never comforted anyone else. There was always the occasion girl crying in the girls' lavatory, but she never said anything to them. She always wondered why they were crying and listen into conversations for the rest of the day trying to see if her thoughts were correct. This was never the problem and now it was.

"I'm sure she was proud of you."

Sirius looked at her in disbelief. "How could you _possibly_ think that?"

"I don't know…" She scrambled for an explanation before saying, "You went through a lot growing up. You could have become a horrible person-"

"Who says I'm not?"

"I do," She scoffed before she could stop herself.

Sirius tilted his head and looked at her in bewilderment.

"What I'm saying is," Marlene continued, dropping her gaze. "You could have become your parents. You could have been filled with hate. You could have …Remember last year? When that first year Slytherin was lost and you helped him back to his dorm?"

"…_How do you know I did that?"_

"I saw you do it." Marlene shrugged, "But the point is, no one ever talked about it and you've never brought it up. You always focus on the worst part of you and brag about that but never say a word about the good things you do…I don't know Mrs. Potter but I'm assuming she knew you and I'm assuming if she took you in, despite everything your family is and always has been, then she must have seen some good in you."

Sirius's breathes were shallow when he asked, "Do you really believe that?"

Marlene said. "I'm just saying what's obvious."

"You think I'm a good person?"

"I think you're an asshole, but… I think you're capable of being decent."

Sirius nearly laughed, his jaw contracted, but it didn't quite make it.

"I don't understand how you feel. My mother killed herself, when I was thirteen, but I do know loss, and as clique as it is, you just have to be the person they would have wanted you to be."

"An honorable, good person?"

"No, you idiot. Yourself. She loved you for you, not because she thought she could change you but because she wanted to make your life easier on you."

Sirius paused for a moment, "…Your mother killed herself when you were thirteen?"

Marlene's face dropped when she realized what she had told him. "Y-yes."

"How did you just…_deal_ with that?"

"My father was remarried in six months, my step-mother arranged my eldest sisters marriage and I was forbidden from talking to my brother or talking about my mum again." She admitted sheepishly.

Sirius whispered, "You are strange, Marlene McKinnon."

"…I'm strange?"

"You…I can never pin down what you are."

Marlene feigned a curtsy. "I do my best."

"You know what I am. You know I'm an arse. You know I'm never going to be the settle down, marriage and children type…and you don't hate me for it…. I don't think you ever have."

"I hated you-"

"But it's past tense," He said waving her off, "And it wasn't for that. It was because of your pureblood bullshit, which you clearly don't really believe in."

Marlene gritted her teeth, but said nothing.

"You're out here." He stated, "You could have walked away. You knew you wouldn't get a shag out of me, you could have easily left and you are still here, and anyone could see you."

"I'll lie if they do." She said quickly.

"But you're still here."

Marlene shifted uncomfortably. "Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"No."

Marlene let out a shaky chuckle. "I don't know what to do…I don't know how to be nice to you…What do you need?"

"Just stay for a few minutes." He said resting his head on the damp wall, his worn eyes closing, "I'll figure the rest out."

"Okay."

Sirius felt the emotions bubble up inside of him again, but just as he felt another wave of anguish consume him; he felt the most tentative hands cup his shoulders.

"I'm going in for an awkward hug." She said feebly, her face scrunched up.

He did laugh this time, she looked so pathetic and so horrifically out of place. Lily would have asked if he needed a hug, Mary would have just given him one after one look at him and the boys wouldn't have even considered that he wouldn't have wanted it. But Marlene seemed to have not the slightest clue what she was doing and that gave him enough of a distraction to appreciate the gesture.

"Do you want to hug me?" He asked, his voice nearly cocky.

"You don't look like a hugger, but I don't know_…This isn't my area_, can I interest you in an insult?"

Sirius shook his head.

"You know what?...I've seen you naked, I'm going to do this, and then I'm going to leave." She said determinedly. "…Unless you don't want to be touched."

"I obviously don't have that problem."

She blushed at the implication, "Fine…then I'm going to do it."

"Alright…do it."

"I'm going to."

A laugh betrayed him from the torn expression on her face.

"I'm glad this is amusing you!" Marlene smacked his arm.

"It actually is."

Her expression softened and she leaned forward and as stiffly as possible place her arms around his. She was about to lift off of him, stand up and walk out like she had said. Already she had stayed too long. But the minute his arms wrapped around her and Marlene couldn't even consider leaving. There were times, months ago when she would reason with herself. Where she would think logically and see the path every decision she made had, but that time was long gone.

Somehow, during the course of three months she'd lost track of her sins and stopped berating herself for every error in judgment she made. At some point she …_just…stopped_, and she had no idea what she was doing anymore. Why would any sane person be sitting against the castle wall with someone she was supposed to hate consoling them on the death of their mother figure? _They wouldn't,_ but she was too far gone to understand it anymore. Whatever it was she was clearly too far gone to talk herself out of it.

Sirius never thought too deeply about his own actions. He actually made a point to avoid looking internally at all costs, but lately he'd been rethinking a few things. At first he tried to say he was just in a bit of a mood for introspection, but every time it seemed to stem from being around her and what being around her was doing to him.

Everything was simple before. People were either good or they were evil, and if girls were evil then they were usually especially good in bed. That was it. He never had to look any further into it than that. But this wasn't a situation he would have ever allowed before.

Mary was the only girl he allowed to hug him longer than three seconds, and even then it was only for a purpose, like winning a game or doing especially well on a test. He'd never let her see him like this, only James had and that was because Sirius didn't really have a choice; Sirius showed up at James's house, there was no hiding what state he was in. But instead of crawling into a bottle of firewiskey or burying himself into a woman, he was here. He didn't doubt she would give him sympathy sex or that it would help him ignore his loss for a few moments, but for once he didn't want it.

Not specifically from her, he just wasn't in the mood in general and instead actually preferred this.

Sirius could smell the scent of coconuts from the shampoo she always used and scent calmed him. It usually propelled him into action, but not this time. He just leaned into her, gradually growing to tugging her all the way into his lap and sinking his head into her shoulder. She didn't protest, but she did tense up at first before tightening her own hold on him and placing her jaw on his shoulder.

They didn't speak.

At one point he began to cry and the sky grew so dark from the fall of night that neither of them could scarcely see anything. They both considered letting go, but they never did. Not until the rain came down heavy, and they were soaked to the bone.

When that happened, she slid off of him and they helped each other to stand, their hands finding each other in the darkness before they bolted into the castle.

Sirius closed the thick Great Hall doors and shook the water off of himself like a rabid dog, and she giggled and flinched away from him. But he grabbed her around her stomach and rubbed his face all over her; her back, her cheeks, her shoulder, everywhere.

If he had ever been in love before he would have realized that this was it, but he had no idea. He didn't know how recklessly he was throwing his heart into the fire. He didn't know how this was going to break him worse then he'd ever been hurt before, how could he? Sirius Black had never seen this coming. If he had, he would have ran as fast and as hard as he could in the other direction. And perhaps that would have been better for him. Maybe he would have been better off never having picking a fight with her at Alice Prewett's party. But he did, and that decision was always going to haunt and scar him.

As he spun her around and kissed her with such abandon and recklessness, he didn't know and he didn't care. Because in that second, in that sloppy, unplanned moment; she was thing that was keeping him alive. He had been so low before she stumbled into him and now he was laughing, now he didn't forget his pain, he just saw something brighter and more filling. He saw Marlene.


	13. Iris

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_  
_When everything's made to be broken_  
_I just want you to know who I am_  
**-Goo Goo Dolls-**

* * *

Resting the heel of her shoe against the brick, Marlene let out a cool breath and reminded herself of the little speech she had written in her head.

It took her a few days of insistent conditioning but Marlene saw sense. She had to stop this thing she had going on with Sirius. It had been fun…it had been_ really_ fun, flashes of his fingers on her skin, his lips on hers filled her mind, but she forced herself to ignore that. This couldn't go on. Eventually they'd get caught, and then what? It wasn't like she had anything to fall back on. He'd just hope on his merry way and then she'd be left with nothing.

Okay, maybe a few heated shags and the memories, but honestly was that worth losing everything?

It wasn't.

And considering she wouldn't gain anything in the process, there really shouldn't have even been a weeklong battle about it in her head. Standing there, waiting for him, she couldn't even think of why it took her so long to make herself do this. It was so juvenile of her and honestly completely out of character. After this, she would clean up. She would focus on Quidditch and put her energy into figuring out how to get on Rastaban's good side. Surely he had to have one…even if it was buried underneath his horrible personality.

Her head turned when she heard his footsteps, she knew it was him from the loud obnoxious sound his shoes made when they scraped across the floor, but if she thought she was prepared, she was wrong.

Seeing him didn't make her body pulse, but looking into his eyes did. It wasn't the color, though that piercing grey color didn't help, it was the intensity behind them. Even when he was laughing, or not making any expression at all, his eyes were always on. They never lost their drive, always burning with one emotion or another, dominating every person with just a glance.

The rest of him was impossible too but she could ignore his tall built body, his strong and supportive hands, his mischievous and unrelenting tongue. Marlene could forget the way his sleek black hair fell effortlessly into his face and how his sharp unshaven jaw line felt when it brushed against her chest… But all of those things she could forget with time and resilience. His eyes though, as he walked over and smirked at her, she didn't think she'd ever be able to not feel anything looking at them.

"McKinnon," He addressed her.

"So," Marlene began, flattening her back against the wall and crossing her arms. "I need to talk to you."

Sirius moved forward, completely ignoring her body language and standing only a breath a way from her. "So talk."

She gulped at his proximity, but kept her gaze firm. "I'm letting you off the hook."

"The hook?"

"I'm stopping…whatever this is." She said gesturing to small bit of space he was allowing between them.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, looking down at her not in disappointment or resignation like she expected, but amusement. "You are?"

"Yes."

"Why is that?"

"Look, I can't keep doing this. I'm sure you're bored shagging the same woman all the time-"

"I never said you were the only one."

Marlene gave him a dirty look. "Oh please, you're good but no one has that much free time… Anyway, the point is-"

Sirius cut her off by saying simply, "You haven't heard me complaining have you?"

Blinking she shook her head. "Well no, but-"

"If I'm not complaining and you're not complaining-"

"What makes you think I have no complaints?"

It was Sirius's turn to roll his eyes. "I don't understand why we have to stop. What has changed?"

Her voice had been so sure before. But his body angled towards her, the smell of his cologne …it got to her in the worst way and she tried to keep her head clear, she tried to keep her convictions, but she struggled. Marlene didn't dare look him in the eye when she spoke.

"I've changed." She continued before he could get a word in. "I have to start acting…Pureblood. I can't do things like this anymore. I have to stop."

"…_Acting Pureblood_?"

Marlene scoffed, "You know what I mean. You used to be one of us."

"Yeah, _used to."_

"You knew this was going to happen eventually."

Sirius's bottom lip curled. "To be honest I didn't think that far ahead."

"Well this is where we are."

He took a second a mixture of emotions flickering in his eyes before he replied, "…Alright."

Marlene looked up at him in confusion and saw he wasn't angry. "…Alright?"

His smirk was back and he seemed perfectly at ease. "Yep."

"Okay…" She paused eyeing him skeptically. "Why do you look like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you know something I don't."

"I know plenty you don't, McKinnon." He said.

Marlene sighed in irritation. "Out with it, Black."

He began to laugh, his hand idly scratching his stubble. "Nothing really…I just think it's hilarious that you think you can stop this."

"What?! I can!"

"Ah huh."

"I ca-! DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME!" She roared pushing him backward. "I'm done! I'm not doing this."

Sirius laughed even harder at that. "Yeah…I heard."

"You are such a prat!"

"Oh come on, you know this won't last!"

A laugh was bubbling up in her chest just from looking at him, but she held onto her anger. "I can!"

Sirius drifted over to her and without touching her he pinned her to the wall. His eyes traveled over her face. "So you're done?"

"Have you been listening to a word-?"

Her words stopped. It was like a switch had been flipped and it turned her brain right off. Because the tips of his fingers had, without her noticing, slipped under the back of her skirt. He barely even touched her, but she could still feel the heat of his hand and suddenly she forgot how to breathe properly.

"I've been listening. I just don't believe you."

Marlene's lips parted, but she didn't speak.

"Because if you really wanted to end this," His lips went to the right corner of her mouth, pressing a light kiss there before drifting to the other side and leaving a kiss there. He applied no pressure and that made her even more "You wouldn't have done your hair, worn make-up…and," Sirius leaned forward, his voice husky, "you wouldn't have worn…_this…little…skirt_."

She didn't mean to moan. Marlene didn't mean to let him kiss her. She didn't mean to ensnare her arms around his neck and slip her tongue into his mouth. Marlene didn't mean to jolt away from the wall and crushing her body against his so hard she could barely breathe. She didn't mean to hold onto him, and not let go. But she did it and she couldn't stop.

Sirius was right about her and that infuriated her, but it only worked in his favor. Though she didn't want to want any part of him she did, and as his hands possessively clenched her arse, grabbing both bare skin and her knickers tightly. She was sure that there were dents embedded in her skin from him, but she found she didn't mind in the slightest.

* * *

"Are you going to Slughorn's party with me?" James asked Sirius as they rose from the Gryffindor table, "Because if I have to go by myself I'd rather stay back."

Sirius noticed the particular pinched expression on James's face and asked, "Weren't you going with Lily?"

James sighed and threw his free hand up in exasperation. "Not anymore…we got into it after the last patrol."

Sirius said, "What did you do?"

"I'm actually the one who's mad." James admitted, fixing his grip on his books. "She keeps sending me mixed signals. If she doesn't want to date me that's fine…She doesn't have to, but I'm not going to just going to treat her like she's my little sister."

"You'll work it out and yeah," Sirius shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the glances from the pair of giggling fifth year girls he strutted past. "I'll go with you."

James smiled in relief. "Thanks mate. I know you'd probably rather not go-"

"I don't really care either way to be honest."

"Really?" James noted in surprise. "Don't you have shagging to do?"

Sirius snorted and elbowed James teasingly. "I'm off tomorrow night."

"Off?...Is it a job? Are there shifts?" James said dryly, "Please inform me how the ridiculous life of Sirius Black works. As a sponsor and co-contributor, I feel entitled to know."

"Oh shut up!" Sirius grinned pushing James roughly, as they both rounded the corner and slipped into Charms.

Remus and Peter were already there. Peter had brought his mini-wizards chess set and they seemed to be halfway through the game. Remus kept putting the tips of his fingers to his lips thoughtfully while Peter's watery blue eyes watched him like a hawk. Sirius cackled when he saw them.

"You two need to give up this pathetic rivalry."

"I will, as soon as you and Prongs agree that fighting Slytherin's over Quidditch is stupid." Remus countered.

James said, "But that would just be a lie."

"Exactly," Remus said rubbing his hands together excitedly, before he moved his pawn and won. He le out a victorious cry and pumped his fists in the air, with a wide grin on his face, "Yessss! All is right with the world!"

Peter scowled and huffed his eyes narrowed, "We're playing again after class, we are tied now."

"That's fine." Remus said, looking radiantly arrogant.

Sirius sat between them, and James settled in on the other side of Remus. Beside him he heard Peter scoop up the pieces to the game while James and Remus discussed a story they both had read in the Prophet. Sirius glanced over and caught Mary's eye for a few seconds, she made a face at him, before engaging Lily in a conversation.

He laughed and shook his head, a few rows ahead of him, he saw Marlene talking to one of her friends. Her face was indifferent and her posture was poised and perfectly straight like there was rod up her spine. It seemed odd to him. Not that he ever saw her slouch, but to see how priss and proper even the way she sat was reminded him that this was the difference. This was the Marlene McKinnon that the world saw, the Marlene McKinnon that would rather walked over people than earn anything on her own merit.

"What are you looking at?" Remus asked Sirius suddenly.

Sirius dropped his gaze immediately and lied, "Nothing, just zoning out." He smiled at him good-naturedly and clapped him on the shoulder. "Nothing at all."

* * *

She'd been at the party for twenty minutes, and so far Rastaban hadn't let her talk to a single person. Alice had come up to her, and Rastaban grabbed her wrist roughly and yanked her away. Couples would come up to talk to the pair of them, and he'd give her a hateful look if she spoke without anyone addressing her personally. It was like she was a very pretty decoration. Only needed to be seen, but that was it's only purpose.

It wasn't her first rodeo.

Marlene had been to countless events where her silences was desired and required, but it had been her stepmother enforcing it. That was a significant change, because when it came down to it, Marlene was physically stronger and a quicker dueler than her stepmother, so when it came down to it Marlene could handle her. But Rastaban wasn't just stronger or a better dueler, he was… quite terrifying.

Like she was supposed to, Marlene had straightened her hair and pinned it back nicely, added dark eyeliner and dark accents to her eye shadow to make her eyes stand out. And then she stuffed herself into the only green dress she owned. It wasn't an ugly dress, it was strapless, and floor length, but she had trouble breathing in it, and she supposed that made a lot of sense because the material would have barely covered her smaller older sister.

Out of all the colors, she loathed green. It reminded her of slime and moss, and all things she hated and now she could add one more fucking thing that she connected that horrible color to.

Thankfully, there was a clock on the other side of the room, and her eyes were glued to it. As long as she had a glass in her hand and a visual of the clock, she could keep her cool. And that worked for a while, she'd listen into other peoples conversations and imagine their lives and in some cases try and guess what they would say next, but when she started to drift off, a sharp dented pain dug into her arm.

Gasping, she looked up and saw it was Rastaban's hand, his face was a mask of a smile. "Marlene, Alexander asked you a question."

Marlene winced and said, "Oh I'm sorry! Forgive me."

Alexander Nott sneered, "I asked when the wedding is?"

"I don't even know." Marlene laughed, giving Alexander a warm look that burned her to the core. "My stepmother is in charge of all the details, and will probably not tell us until the night of!"

"I see…Are you excited?"

Marlene's smile was so forced her cheeks ached. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Her performance was enough to fool Alexander, who never addressed another question her way, but it wasn't enough for Rabastan. His grip on her arm was unyielding and she had to actively hold back the whines building her throat. She was in large room, full of 70 students and not a single one was looking at her. If they had, they would have seen that she was no longer adept at hiding her emotions, that she was no longer able to hide the tears in her eyes or the trembling in her throat.

Power wasn't the ability to hurt her. Anyone could come up and punch her square in the face. Power was the ability to hurt her in front of a crowd of people and know not a single person would stop him or even notice.

Marlene had never felt so small, or so invisible in her entire life.

Despite everything she said. Despite everything she said she was willing to give up. Her blue eyes desperately tried to lock onto someone else in a plea for help. Whenever the pain would numb out and she would begin to relax he would instinctively tightened his grip and jolts of pain would shock up her.

In the distance, she saw Alice, and she tried to with all of her might to will her friend to turn around. To take five seconds and just look at Marlene and see that something was wrong. But Alice was talking to Frank, and so she never turned around.

Dirk wasn't at the party, Ethan wasn't either and none of the rest of her friends would do anything. They might see the look on her face, but even if it affected them, they wouldn't do anything about it. They would ignore it and pretend they didn't see anything.

A horrific thought hit her then with such unimaginable force she was nearly knocked clear off her feet, _this was her life._

She'd go all of her days like this. Just being a human decoration, no one at the party truly caring about what they discussed with her, if they bothered to talk to her at all. There were a lot of times she thought she knew what she was getting herself into and even more times were she mentally prepared herself for what her life would be like. But this wasn't a factor.

"We're going," Rabastan whispered, his breath scratching the side of her face.

Marlene nodded, a trickle of sweat going down her back, she forced her knees to unlocked so she could walk.

Just before she hit the door, her eyes caught someone's. It wasn't Alice though. Her eyes weren't grey. The sight of her didn't make Marlene's breath catch in her throat. But it was too late. Her feet were almost to the door, and there was nothing Sirius could have done except start trouble. So, with a strength she didn't know she had, Marlene looked away from him and let Rastaban drag her out the door.

* * *

Sirius didn't know what he should do. His head was telling him it wasn't his problem and his first instinct was just to stay in bed and put her out of his mind. That was the bitch of it though. Even when he closed his eyes he saw the terrified expression on her face, how she stood so rigid the whole evening, how whenever she talked to anyone he would grip her arm and give her the coldest look. It was how he'd seen many pureblood couples behave, the man would be dominating and controlling, the woman would take care of the house and manipulate everyone around them. It was fine when it had nothing to do with him. Marlene always seemed like a manipulative bitch that would fit perfectly into that setting.

The problem was he saw _her _face.

At first he did see the Marlene McKinnon he once knew. The girl who would have had an arranged marriage and been the perfect little trophy wife. She couldn't keep it up though. The girl he had come to know in the past few months, the girl that was willing to risk her life for other people, the girl who giggled and tried to teach him how to swim; kept peeking out until that was the only person left. An untrained eye would have never have seen the distinction, because despite the cracks, she still knew how to keep it together. Marlene knew the gestures, the way to stand; she knew the entire scenario, Sirius just saw through it. _He saw her and he couldn't shake her._

James left the map on his night table right under his glasses. Sirius snatched it and after tossing on a shirt, he wandered off through the castle. He didn't even grab socks or shoes, he didn't see the need. His half-awake mind didn't register coherent thoughts, all he knew was where he was headed. Sirius could even explain to himself why he was going, just that he was.

If Mary would have caught him he would have lied. He would have said he was sleep walking and then distracted her until she had forgotten all about it. But apart of him wished he could talk about this with someone. He wasn't a girl. It wasn't about his feelings or anything stupid like that. It was just that he wanted someone else's take on what was happening. He wanted someone to tell him he wasn't crazy. That he hadn't seen something that wasn't there.

It had only been a few seconds. Marlene hadn't said anything to him. Sirius need to know he didn't imagine it. That he wasn't so bored listening to James complain about Slughorn's preferential treatment that he didn't imagine the way she looked at him.

Sirius shifted into his animagus form and went up the girls staircase, changing back once he opened the door. It was hard to see, the room wasn't lit and the only light coming in was from the window, but he vaguely could make out the shapes of things. After checking he found her bed was the last bed towards the back. The other girls were sound asleep, but Marlene wasn't. Her curtains were drawn, but there was a space between the curtain and the wall and Sirius could see her blonde hair wasn't on the pillow, she was sitting up.

* * *

His lips moved to say her surname but instead, "Mar," came out.

She looked over, her eyes swollen and red with tears. Her blonde hair was down and frizzy, but instead of finding it ridiculous he thought she looked adorable. Like a little lion.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, her eyebrows puckering together.

"I told you how I feel about that question." Sirius uttered quietly, moving to stand right next to her bed.

Marlene looked at him softly, her face open and perfectly readable. He saw every fracture in her face and his face fell when she said, "Look, I'm not in the mood-"

"I didn't come for that."

"…then why are you here?" Marlene questioned, her indigo eyes big in the shadows.

Sirius sighed, "Move over."

She frowned in confusion, but after a second of hesitation she moved over. "Are you alright?"

He nearly laughed as he crept into the bed and shut the curtains behind him. "You think I'm here for me?"

"I have no idea why you're here." She admitted sheepishly.

Sirius didn't want to answer that question. It was surely one that would haunt him and bother him for a long time after he left her, but he repressed it and ignored it. Instead he focused on her. She was sitting weird, all of her weight was off her right arm, and when he looked down to see why, his entire face changed.

"He did this to you?" Sirius asked through gritted teeth, his fingers barely touching the bruises.

Marlene nodded, her voice thick she said, "He held onto me too tight. I suppose it wasn't intentional…so it could be worse."

Sirius's hand grasped her face gently and tipped it up so she would look into his eyes. "No one deserves this."

"I know…but there's nothing I can do." Marlene said faintly. "I don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice." He said, his voice straining, "My mum taught me that."

Marlene scooted away from him, and laid down under her covers. In a low voice she said, "You really loved her, didn't you?"

He said, "She was the first person to tell me I wasn't worthless."

"You are the most popular boy in school, every girl wants you and every teacher thinks you're hilarious," She began apprehensively, looking up at him. "How could you think, even for a moment, that you were worthless?"

Sirius slipped down so he was lying down next to her, and he shrugged. "None of them know me. They just know what I look like, what I sound like, what I represent…Only the boys really know me."

"You're not that hard to figure out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sirius eyed her and said. "You know I would beat him senseless if you asked me to."

She chuckled sarcastically. "Yeah, sure."

He looked at her without a single trace of humor on his face. His grey eyes fixed on her blue eyes and he said resolutely, "I would."

"…Why would you do that?" Marlene questioned in bewilderment.

"…Because…I can."

Marlene face began to tremble and she said, "You're not worthless, you know."

Sirius's hands stroked the curves of her face carefully to calm her.

"You're an idiot, but you're not worthless."

"You're not either." He told her. "You know that, right?"

Marlene began to cry silently; her face tipping down, her shoulders shuddering, her eyes squeezing shut.

He didn't hesitate, he reached for her and pulled her into his chest and to his surprise she didn't fight him. Marlene buried her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, holding onto him tightly. Sirius had one hand on her back, while the other ran through her hair. The feeling of her pressed so closely to him, so close he could feel her heartbeat, it calmed him. Before he had been feeling restless, but he hadn't noticed how tense he had been until he let go.

"Thank you." She mumbled into his shirt.

He smiled, a very small, barely noticeable smile, but a smile nonetheless and he hugged her tighter to him in the process. It was funny, but he never quite recognized how small she was until that point. She could curl up into such a tiny being and it was impossible to think such a force, such a powerful person could take up so little space.

Her breathing slowed and he saw her body completely relax and fold into his. He'd never held anyone like this. It puzzled him how he even knew what to do. Sirius kept thinking he was doing it wrong, but Marlene looked perfectly content so he stayed put. She wasn't exactly the type to stay quiet if she had a problem, but he was still worried, this wasn't his type of thing and he wasn't very good at these sort of things to begin with. But when he began to sigh, she tugged away and looked at him in concern.

"You okay?"

"Sorry…I'm just bad at this."

Marlene said, "You're fine…just relax. Just because you don't do something often doesn't mean you're bad at it."

"I never do this...I've never done this." He admitted.

She blushed, "Oh…I don't know why I'm surprised, but I am."

"You've seen me around girls."

"I have and it makes sense…It's just a little sad. This is kind of the best part." Marlene said, "I mean I usually don't do this either…I never did it that often, but it usually is the best part."

His eyebrows rose. "Better than sex?"

"You can have sex with anyone. It's only intimate if you want to be."

He considered her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" She paused, making a face. "I've only …I've only had sex with two people-"

"TWO?!" He gasped loudly.

She clamped her hands over his mouth in alarm. "People are still here!" She hissed.

He rolled his eyes as her hands left his mouth. "…Still! _Two_?"

"I'm not as cavalier about it as you are."

"Wait… including me or excluding me?"

"Merlin!"

"You can't just drop that bomb and walk away." He insisted.

Marlene scoffed, "Fine. Yes, including you."

"Wow…what's that like?"

Groaning, she rolled under the sheets. "I'm not having this conversation with you."

Sirius went under the covers after her and questioned. "Why?"

"Because you clearly have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Try me."

She sighed and saw nothing but sincerity reflecting in his eyes. They'd reached this odd point; this honest, raw place that neither of them were particularly aware of entering. Marlene wavered. At some point she had put her faith in him. It wasn't conscious, it wasn't like she had to fill out a questionnaire and one week he fit the bill but the week before he didn't. It wasn't something she had control over and that was what scared her the most. At any point she could walk away from this, walk away from him. She had that choice, but faith, something she didn't have towards anything, was given to him; a bloke who she would never have imagined would have earned it. But he had.

How could she say these things to him? How could she explain something so personal to him? That was the rotten part of exposing yourself in a way you never have before, if it backfires it doesn't just hurt it scars you and leaves a mark to remind you to never do so again. And Marlene had so many scars. He could laugh, he could be cruel, but somehow Marlene knew he wouldn't, because she knew that though he had the ability, he had the background to do so, he wouldn't hurt her. That thought came to her quickly and before she could put the walls back up, before she could send him away and turn away, she spoke.

"When you sleep with women, how do you choose them?"

"How attractive they are." He answered bluntly.

"How do you know they're not going to literally grab a knife in the middle and cut you? How do you know they aren't doing it as a trick or to trap you?"

Sirius's eyebrows puckered together in a trouble expression. "I've never thought about it like that, I guess."

"No, you wouldn't but I would." Marlene explained flatly. "I think about all the consequences and side affects to everything. I have a plan for every possible scenario and I have back up plan if that fails. I worry because I know girls who slept with whomever they wished and it worked out fine, and others who got royally screwed over. Some left pregnant, some discovered diseases, some were humiliated…I wouldn't let that happen. I could shag anyone, but I don't because I don't trust that the consequences would outweigh the benefits, and spooning…you are literally just lying there. There is no sexual benefit; it is honestly just the process of enjoying being close to someone and that is terrifying because if someone asks you can't just tell your friends, '_it meant nothing,_' or '_it was just a one time thing_,' because how many people do you hold? How many people do you let see you without any pretense or without a purpose?"

Sirius blinked his eyes watching her softly.

"You can have sex with anyone, even yourself, but you can't really hold yourself and …that's why it makes sense that you've never done this, or why you don't know it's the best part. You've never been with anyone…you've never felt that ache when all you want for the world to be alright is them around."

"And you have?"

"Once." She said wiping the tears that had slipped down her cheeks away. "I was fifteen. He dumped me after a year, but for a few months it was like that."

Sirius sighed and frowned. "I don't get why anyone would want to be close like that."

"That's because you have family issues…See I've seen my sister and my brother-in-law and I know I'll never have that, but apart of me will always want it." Marlene admitted her voice barely above a whisper. "Because sometimes you just want to matter that much to someone that if you died, they would forever be changed…They might get through it and move on, but they won't be the same person. They will be altered because you walked into their life in a way no one else could, making you apart of who they are and will always be."

"…And you want that?" Sirius asked incrediously.

"I'm not going to get it," She laughed bitterly, rubbing her face. "But sometimes, when I let myself, I do."

Sirius bit the side of his lip. "I've never seen anyone love anyone like that."

"Don't you remember the way Mr. Potter used to look at Mrs. Potter?"

"Well…" He paused before continuing, "I guess you're right."

Marlene said, "I never met them, but I've seen James, and you can't be that loving of a person without growing up with that."

"Then why are you this way?"

"A bitch?" She snorted. "My parents had a loveless marriage-"

"Not a bitch," He said, shaking his head. "Why are you all… _soft_?"

Marlene looked at him oddly, startled she said, "I mean…I'm not…I just. I guess I grew up with siblings that always loved me."

Sirius said, "I didn't have that either."

"I don't know about that. I've seen Regulus look over at you when he thinks no one is looking. All might not be lost with him."

"So what? There's hope for me?" He mocked good-naturedly.

Marlene shook her head. "No. You my friend, " She shifted with a sigh, "Will go years shagging every girl in sight and either marry very late in your life or not at all."

"You see me married?"

"It probably won't be your idea, but you seem the type that would fall in love with a girl that would insist upon it."

He made a thoughtful noise.

"But you're not lost Sirius…You're just probably going to take a while before you can let anyone in."

"How many years, you reckon?"

She covered her mouth as she yawned. "A decade, I'd wager, but eventually Potter will bring you to his side of the table about it and he'll probably throw a girl at you."

"What about you?"

"I will be married, with children, miserable but holding on because at least I will be able to talk to my family…in the end that's what matters."

Sirius adjusted the pillow under his neck and said, "And you're willing to give everything else up… for that?"

"Wouldn't you?...If James or Mary needed it wouldn't you give up your happiness to stay connected to them?"

"…I dunno."

"You would." She mumbled, "Because they matter to you, and you are the self sacrificing type."

Sirius smiled at that. "You seemed to have me pegged."

"I know." She whined with a worn smile. "You were just supposed to be the boy I shouldn't have shagged…"

He said, "Well I have a reputation for disregarding expectations."

"I suppose you do."

"You're not all bad, McKinnon." Sirius said.

Marlene snorted, her eyes closing, "I won't tell anyone you said that."

"They wouldn't believe me even if I did."

"No, I guess you're right." Marlene mumbled.

Sirius said, "Mar?"

Her eyes opened and she said, "Hm?"

"Mind if I stay here tonight?"

The lines around her eyes creased in surprise. "That's…that's fine, just make sure you don't get caught, okay?"

"Okay."

She looked over and impulsively reached for the front of his shirt, instead of yanking him towards her like she usually did, Marlene pulled him closer gradually. And instead of jumping his bones and crushing her lips with his, she just kissed him; a brief, tender kiss that would have barely registered if Sirius hadn't been looking right at her when she did it.

"…what was that for?"

"Because." She shrugged, "I don't want to ever think I never did it when I had the chance."

Sirius lowered down to her, his eyes open as he glided his lips against hers, firm, but not with a build up pressure behind it like it usually did. When he pulled back he said, "I see what you mean."

Marlene snorted, "Loser."

"That is not a word that is used to describe me."

"Well that's too bad." Marlene said her eyes closing as she snuggled into her pillow.

Cautiously, he reached over and swiped her hair out of her face. She smiled when she felt his hand on her face and instead of shifting away, her hand left her blanket and held onto his hand. For a few moments, they just looked at one another. They were tired and exhaustion was beginning to tug at them both, but something else had a stronger hold on both of them.

Marlene wanted to know why he was there, it couldn't be what she thought it was. It couldn't be what she could see playing across his face. It couldn't be what she was feeling in heart. This couldn't be right. This couldn't be real. She had to be dreaming. This had to be an idle thought keeping her company to help her ignore the awful night she'd just endured, but it wasn't. He was real, and he was there. And when they both fell asleep, he turned and wrapped his arms around her waist.

This wasn't her imagination. It was real.


End file.
